Divergent Revealed
by Author Pendragon Of Camelot
Summary: Fourteen people from three different factions are united to read the Divergent trilogy and stop the war! Join Tris, Four, Christina, Will, Uriah, Zeke, Lynn, Marlene, Peter, Eric, Marcus, Caleb, Natalie and Andrew as they read the first book. Will they drift away from each other? Or will what they hear make them stronger? Hilarity, drama and romance ensured!
1. Chapter 1

**TRIS'S POV**

Initiation is over! I feel so excited! We get to choose what job we want to do tomorrow. Me being first on the leaderboard, I automatically get which ever job I choose - as well as the other four people behind me. I know Peter is choosing leadership. He's been bragging about it for days. I considered leadership for a while - maybe I could change Dauntless for the better? But I don't think I could do it. Facing Eric, Max and Peter day after day? No way. I also thought about joining Tori in the tattoo parlour, but it isn't much of a challenge, and I feel I would get bored quickly. Computers have never been an option for me, and I am not going to be doing a job so dull as guarding the fence. So, I will become an instructor - like Tobias.

I will be training initiates with him every day. My heart flutters at the very thought, and I smile. Four and Six, together.

I am just about to leave the dorm, when a female voice suddenly booms around the room.

"Do not be alarmed. I need to speak with some of your members. It will take a couple of weeks, because I have a task I need them to do. I have a list of names of the dauntless that I need... Tris," Me? Why would anyone need to speak with me? Unless they know about my divergence and want to kill me? I suddenly feel very nervous, and pick up a knife from my table, concealing it in my jeans pocket - just in case. The woman keeps talking - voice loud and echoing around the room. "Four," I relax slightly, knowing he will be there. "Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Christina," I relax slightly more, knowing my best friend will be with me too. "Will, Eric," He most definitely is not divergent, but maybe he is just coming to kill me... "and Peter. Teleportation will start in ten seconds. Sorry for any inconvenience caused by this sudden departure." Peter? He is coming!? I remember the night next to the chasm, when he touched me and tried to throw me over the side. Luckily, my friends are coming with me, and I have learnt how to protect myself.

Hang on - teleportation!?

I disappear from the room.

* * *

 **FOUR'S POV**

I feel slightly cheerier than usual. Tomorrow my initiates become true members and choose their jobs. I know Tris wants to be an instructor, like me, and we will get to spend all of our working hours together - assuming we both get the transfers. There is still a knot in my stomach, but that has been there since I found out about the war plans.

Then that speech from the mysterious woman over the radio.

I'm thankful that I will be going with Tris, and slightly less pleased that peter is coming. I am glad I will be there to protect her. I remember what he, Drew and All had done to Tris, and suddenly, my good mood evaporates into an angry and suspicious one.

Wait a second... Did she say... Teleportation?

Suddenly, I vanish.

* * *

 **TRIS'S POV**

I feel weightless for a moment, until my shoes hit the ground, and I stumble forwards, falling to my knees. I notice that a few others have landed in this way too. Peter smirks. Obviously, he had a much calmer landing - like when he landed on his feet the first time we jumped off of the train. I hate him.

It is a narrow room that we are standing in, quite long with cream walls and a white roof. There are a few dark oak doors, and a couple of bulbs hang from the ceiling, providing light for us all. There are too many of is here, I realize. More than were read out on that list., but there are too many of us in the same room for me to be able to see who else is here. I see Tobias and I go to stand next to him. He jumps as I touch him, and I quickly remove my hand from his arm, hoping nobody saw.

* * *

 **FOUR'S POV**

My feet connect with a hard wooden floor, and I stumble. What the hell? I think to myself, as I regain my balance. Then I hear somebody else say that exact thought out loud. I almost smile, but it is hard to when you have just been teleported by an unknown stranger to an unknown destination. God knows where we are...

I jump as somebody puts their hand on my arm. It's Tris. She takes her arm away again, and looks around her, checking that nobody saw. I hate having to hide our relationship like this...

Somebody shouts "come through here!" It sounds like that voice that read out the list of names over the radio. Everyone starts streaming through the door, into a large, clean room with loads of huge floor-to-ceiling windows. There are three long, four-seater sofas, a couple of loveseats and lots of armchairs. They are all cream coloured leather and they all have a white fluffy blanket thrown over the back, with a matching cushion. At one end of the room is a kitchen - quite big with a huge fridge and a big oven. I can't see it very well from the door though. At the other side of the room, I can see a huge long table, with fifteen chairs around it - so there are fifteen people here. There were definitely less than were read out when we were at dauntless. Maybe some people from the other factions came. I am at the back of the crowd, so I can't tell who is here.

I see the top of somebody's head - she has crazy blonde curly hair.

"Sit down!" she shouts over the dauntless' chatter. People look at her, wearily, but eventually start piling onto the sofas.

"Cannonball!" I hear Zeke yell, and I roll my eyes, amused.

I sit on a long sofa, next to Zeke and Lynn. Uriah is at the other side of his brother. Tris is next to Christina and Will. Tris is staring at something, and I follow her gaze...

Andrew and Natalie Prior - Tris's parents. And next to them - Caleb. Her brother. They all smile at Tris, and she waves back, a grin on her face. I feel pleased to see her looking so happy. And then I look who is in the armchair next to the family, and my mood turns sour.

Marcus. Marcus is here. He sees me watching him and has the nerve to smile at me. I give him the death glare back. He looks away quickly. If I have to spend a week here, with _that_ _,_ I will kill him.

I feel like walking over to him and punching him right in the nose. But then everyone will know about our relationship, and that would be bad. Instead, I look away and ignore him.

Once everybody has a seat, the curly haired woman walks into the middle of the room. "My name is Melody. I know you are all probably confused, but don't worry. Nobody will get hurt while you are here." I scoff. Marcus will, if he ever tries to speak to me. "I told you you have a task to do. It might seem easy, but in fact, it will probably be really difficult, given the content. I need you to read a series of books."

"Books?" Peter smirks. "What's so difficult about that? What are they about, anyway?"

"Well, they're about you. Your future is in these books. And lets just say, its not a good future. There is a war. most of you in this room die. I brought you here because you need to try and stop it."

"Stop a war? Us?" Will says.

"Yes." Melody throws a book onto the table. Its title...

 _Divergent._

That knot in my stomach grows. Looking around the room, I know at least three divergent. Including me. And if this book really _is_ about our future... well... It will not be good.

Melody continues speaking. "This book is in Tris's point of view. I will come back every Friday to check if you've finished the book and to bring you food. _Please,_ try not to kill anyone..." And with that, she disappears from the room.

There's a long silence.

"Well, lets hurry up and read, then!" Eric snaps.


	2. Chapter 2

**TRIS'S POV**

Eric chucks the book at Marlene. "Read!" He barks.

Marlene glares at Eric, but starts reading anyway.

 **There is one mirror in my house. It is behind a sliding panel in the hallway upstairs. Our faction allows me to stand in front of it on the second day of every third month, the day my mother cuts my hair.**

"But that means you only look at yourselves four times a year! That is _not_ normal!" Christina looks shocked.

"It is in abnegation," My mum says matter-of-fact-ly.

Everyone in dauntless looks in the mirror four or five times each day! Some of them even carry tiny mirrors in their pockets - sorting their hair or re-applying lipstick in the middle of the pit or just in random corridors. I am used to it now, and I cant even imagine not looking at myself for three months straight anymore.

 **I sit on the stool and my mother stands behind me with the scissors, trimming. The strands fall on the floor in a dull, blond ring.**

 **When she finishes, she pulls my hair away from my face and twists it into a knot. I note how calm she looks and how focused she is. She is well-practiced in the art of losing herself. I can't say the same of myself.**

She smiles at me.

 **I sneak a look at my reflection when she isn't paying attention-**

Dad looks annoyed.

 **—not for the sake of vanity, but out of curiosity. A lot can happen to a person's appearance in three months. In my reflection, I see a narrow face, wide, round eyes, and a long, thin nose—I still look like a little girl, though sometime in the last few months I turned sixteen. The other factions celebrate birthdays, but we don't. It would be self-indulgent.**

"You mean... no _cake!?_ " Uriah squeaks.

"No cake." I agree, laughing.

 **"There," she says when she pins the knot in place. Her eyes catch mine in the mirror. It is too late to look away, but instead of scolding me, she smiles at our reflection. I frown a little. Why doesn't she reprimand me for staring at myself?**

"Yes, why didn't she?" My father asks her.

"She was nervous enough, I didn't want to be too hard on her."

 **"So today is the day," she says.**

 **"Yes," I reply.**

 **"Are you nervous?"**

"I was," I tell her.

 **I stare into my own eyes for a moment. Today is the day of the aptitude test that will show me which of the five factions I belong in. And tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, I will decide on a faction; I will decide the rest of my life; I will decide to stay with my family or abandon them.**

"Dramatic much, Tris?" Lynn laughs.

"Tris?" My father asks, talking about my name.

"I changed it." I tell him. He nods.

"I like it," he says to me, smiling.

 **"No," I say. "The tests don't have to change our choices."**

 **"Right." She smiles. "Let's go eat breakfast."**

 **"Thank you. For cutting my hair."**

 **She kisses my cheek and slides the panel over the mirror. I think my mother could be beautiful, in a different world. Her body is thin beneath the gray robe. She has high cheekbones and long eyelashes, and when she lets her hair down at night, it hangs in waves over her shoulders.**

She raises an eyebrow at me.

 **But she must hide that beauty in Abnegation.**

 **We walk together to the kitchen. On these mornings when my brother makes breakfast, and my father's hand skims my hair as he reads the newspaper, and my mother hums as she clears the table—it is on these mornings that I feel guiltiest for wanting to leave them.**

Mum and dad look down, and I can see the sadness in their eyes when they look back up. The guilt is back. I look away.

 **The bus stinks of exhaust. Every time it hits a patch of uneven pavement, it jostles me from side to side, even though I'm gripping the seat to keep myself still.**

 **My older brother, Caleb, stands in the aisle, holding a railing above his head to keep himself steady. We don't look alike. He has my father's dark hair and hooked nose and my mother's green eyes and dimpled cheeks. When he was younger, that collection of features looked strange, but now it suits him. If he wasn't Abnegation, I'm sure the girls at school would stare at him.**

A few of the girls laugh.

"We did anyway!" Lynn giggles. Caleb blushes.

 **He also inherited my mother's talent for selflessness. He gave his seat to a surly Candor man on the bus without a second thought.**

Caleb smiles at me, and I grin back.

 **The Candor man wears a black suit with a white tie—Candor standard uniform. Their faction values honesty and sees the truth as black and white, so that is what they wear.**

 **The gaps between the buildings narrow and the roads are smoother as we near the heart of the city. The building that was once called the Sears Tower—we call it the Hub—emerges from the fog, a black pillar in the skyline. The bus passes under the elevated tracks. I have never been on a train, though they never stop running and there are tracks everywhere. Only the Dauntless ride them.**

The dauntless all cheer, and I laugh.

 **Five years ago, volunteer construction workers from Abnegation repaved some of the roads. They started in the middle of the city and worked their way outward until they ran out of materials. The roads where I live are still cracked and patchy, and it's not safe to drive on them. We don't have a car anyway.**

 **Caleb's expression is placid as the bus sways and jolts on the road. The gray robe falls from his arm as he clutches a pole for balance. I can tell by the constant shift of his eyes that he is watching the people around us—striving to see only them and to forget himself.**

"Well, actually, I was looking at the controls at the front - trying to see how they made the wheels turn..." Caleb looks uncomfortable. We both avoid our parents hurt gaze.

 **Candor values honesty, but our faction, Abnegation, values selflessness.**

 **The bus stops in front of the school and I get up, scooting past the Candor man. I grab Caleb's arm as I stumble over the man's shoes. My slacks are too long, and I've never been that graceful.**

Peter laughs evilly. I give him the scariest glare I can, and he rolls his eyes, but looks away. I smile, satisfied.

 **The Upper Levels building is the oldest of the three schools in the city: Lower Levels, Mid-Levels, and Upper Levels. Like all the other buildings around it, it is made of glass and steel. In front of it is a large metal sculpture that the Dauntless climb after school, daring each other to go higher and higher. Last year I watched one of them fall and break her leg. I was the one who ran to get the nurse.**

"Ooh! That was me!" Marlene says, jumping from her seat. "Thanks Tris!" She says enthusiastically, and comes over to hug me. My father looks disapproving - nobody touches each other in abnegation - let alone hugs. Mother doesn't seem to care.

 **"Aptitude tests today," I say. Caleb is not quite a year older than I am, so we are in the same year at school.**

 **He nods as we pass through the front doors. My muscles tighten the second we walk in. The atmosphere feels hungry, like every sixteen-year-old is trying to devour as much as he can get of this last day. It is likely that we will not walk these halls again after the Choosing Ceremony—once we choose, our new factions will be responsible for finishing our education.**

 **Our classes are cut in half today, so we will attend all of them before the aptitude tests, which take place after lunch. My heart rate is already elevated.**

 **"You aren't at all worried about what they'll tell you?" I ask Caleb.**

"I was terrified." He admits.

 **We pause at the split in the hallway where he will go one way, toward Advanced Math, and I will go the other, toward Faction History.**

 **He raises an eyebrow at me. "Are you?"**

 **I could tell him I've been worried for weeks about what the aptitude test will tell me—Abnegation, Candor, Erudite, Amity, or Dauntless?**

 **Instead I smile and say, "Not really."**

 **He smiles back. "Well…have a good day."**

 **I walk toward Faction History, chewing on my lower lip. He never answered my question.**

"Thought you didn't notice!" Caleb grins.

 **The hallways are cramped, though the light coming through the windows creates the illusion of space; they are one of the only places where the factions mix, at our age. Today the crowd has a new kind of energy, a last day mania.**

 **A girl with long curly hair shouts "Hey!" next to my ear, waving at a distant friend. A jacket sleeve smacks me on the cheek. Then an Erudite boy in a blue sweater shoves me. I lose my balance and fall hard on the ground.**

 **"Out of my way, Stiff," he snaps, and continues down the hallway.**

"I don't _believe_ that! The disrespect!" Marlene bursts. Some people nod, but Peter smirks. I suddenly wonder if it was him, but then I remember that he wasn't erudite. I feel like hitting him.

 **My cheeks warm. I get up and dust myself off. A few people stopped when I fell, but none of them offered to help me.**

"I would!" Will tells me, and I smile at his sympathetic face.

 **Their eyes follow me to the edge of the hallway. This sort of thing has been happening to others in my faction for months now—the Erudite have been releasing antagonistic reports about Abnegation, and it has begun to affect the way we relate at school. The gray clothes, the plain hairstyle, and the unassuming demeanor of my faction are supposed to make it easier for me to forget myself, and easier for everyone else to forget me too. But now they make me a target.**

My parents faces harden.

"I didn't know it was that bad..." Dad says, frowning.

"We'll address it next meeting," Marcus announces. I feel angry - on Tobias's behalf.

 **I pause by a window in the E Wing and wait for the Dauntless to arrive. I do this every morning. At exactly 7:25, the Dauntless prove their bravery by jumping from a moving train.**

"Stalker alert!" Zeke yells at me, but he's laughing, so I know he's joking.

"Just interested!" I tell him firmly, also laughing.

 **My father calls the Dauntless "hellions." They are pierced, tattooed, and black-clothed. Their primary purpose is to guard the fence that surrounds our city. From what, I don't know.**

Everybody looks at Eric.

"How should I know? I've never gone, and nobody's ever said! Just read!"

 **They should perplex me. I should wonder what courage—which is the virtue they most value—has to do with a metal ring through your nostril. Instead my eyes cling to them wherever they go.**

Zeke makes comical warning noises. "Warning! Stalker alert! Danger, danger!" Everyone laughs, and I shake my head, smiling.

 **The train whistle blares, the sound resonating in my chest. The light fixed to the front of the train clicks on and off as the train hurtles past the school, squealing on iron rails. And as the last few cars pass, a mass exodus of young men and women in dark clothing hurl themselves from the moving cars, some dropping and rolling, others stumbling a few steps before regaining their balance. One of the boys wraps his arm around a girl's shoulders, laughing.**

 **Watching them is a foolish practice. I turn away from the window and press through the crowd to the Faction History classroom.**

"Chapter over," Marlene says, snapping the book shut.

It sure is weird listening to somebody else read my own thoughts out loud.

"Your turn," Marlene passes the book to Lynn.


	3. Chapter 3

**The tests begin after lunch. We sit at the long tables in the cafeteria, and the test administrators call ten names at a time, one for each testing room. I sit next to Caleb and across from our neighbor Susan.** **Susan's father travels throughout the city for his job, so he has a car and drives her to and from school every day. He offered to drive us, too, but as Caleb says, we prefer to leave later and would not want to inconvenience him.**

 **Of course not.**

"I figured that was what you would have said too, I diddnt know you actually wanted to," Caleb says.

 **The test administrators are mostly Abnegation volunteers, although there is an Erudite in one of the testing rooms and a Dauntless in another to test those of us from Abnegation, because the rules state that we can't be tested by someone from our own faction.**

"why not?" somebody asks.

everybody shrugs.

 **The rules also say that we can't prepare for the test in any way, so I don't know what to expect.** **My gaze drifts from Susan to the Dauntless tables across the room. They are laughing and shouting and playing cards.**

Some of the dauntless high-five.

 **At another set of tables, the Erudite chatter over books and newspapers, in constant pursuit of knowledge.**

Caleb sits up straighter.

 **A group of Amity girls in yellow and red sit in a circle on the cafeteria floor, playing some kind of hand-slapping game involving a rhyming song. Every few minutes I hear a chorus of laughter from them as someone is eliminated and has to sit in the center of the circle. At the table next to them, Candor boys make wide gestures with their hands. They appear to be arguing about something, but it must not be serious, because some of them are still smiling.**

 **At the Abnegation table, we sit quietly and wait. Faction customs dictate even idle behavior and supersede individual preference. I doubt all the Erudite want to study all the time,**

"Gosh, no," says Caleb.

 **or that every Candor enjoys a lively debate,**

"I didn't," Christina tells us.

 **but they can't defy the norms of their factions any more than I can.**

 **Caleb's name is called in the next group. He moves confidently toward the exit. I don't need to wish him luck or assure him that he shouldn't be nervous. He knows where he belongs, and as far as I know, he always has.**

Caleb looks uncomfortable again. I can't believe that I didn't realize where he wanted to be. Brothers and sisters should be closer than that.

 **My earliest memory of him is from when we were four years old. He scolded me for not giving my jump rope to a little girl on the playground who didn't have anything to play with. He doesn't lecture me often anymore, but I have his look of disapproval memorized.**

"Great first memory," Christina rolls her eyes and sighs.

 **I have tried to explain to him that my instincts are not the same as his—it didn't even enter my mind to give my seat to the Candor man on the bus—but he doesn't understand. "Just do what you're supposed to," he always says. It is that easy for him. It should be that easy for me.**

"Did you spend your entire life criticizing yourself, Tris?" Marlene asks me.

"Pretty much," I nod.

 **My stomach wrenches. I close my eyes and keep them closed until ten minutes later, when Caleb sits down again.**

 **He is plaster-pale. He pushes his palms along his legs like I do when I wipe off sweat, and when he brings them back, his fingers shake. I open my mouth to ask him something, but the words don't come. I am not allowed to ask him about his results, and he is not allowed to tell me.**

"You actually _follow_ that rule?" Christina sounds genually surprised.

 **An Abnegation volunteer speaks the next round of names. Two from Dauntless, two from Erudite, two from Amity, two from Candor, and then: "From Abnegation: Susan Black and Beatrice Prior."**

This is it. People will attack me and run away from me, and I will have no friends left, apart from Tobias. That's the least of my worries, I think. Peter and Eric will kill me. I still have my knife, but that means other people will too.

 **I get up because I'm supposed to, but if it were up to me, I would stay in my seat for the rest of time. I feel like there is a bubble in my chest that expands more by the second, threatening to break me apart from the inside. I follow Susan to the exit. The people I pass probably can't tell us apart. We wear the same clothes and we wear our blond hair the same way. The only difference is that Susan might not feel like she's going to throw up, and from what I can tell, her hands aren't shaking so hard she has to clutch the hem of her shirt to steady them.**

 **Waiting for us outside the cafeteria is a row of ten rooms. They are used only for the aptitude tests, so I have never been in one before. Unlike the other rooms in the school, they are separated, not by glass, but by mirrors. I watch myself, pale and terrified, walking toward one of the doors. Susan grins nervously at me as she walks into room 5, and I walk into room 6, where a Dauntless woman waits for me.**

 **She is not as severe-looking as the young Dauntless I have seen. She has small, dark, angular eyes and wears a black blazer—like a man's suit—and jeans. It is only when she turns to close the door that I see a tattoo on the back of her neck, a black-and-white hawk with a red eye. If I didn't feel like my heart had migrated to my throat, I would ask her what it signifies. It must signify something.**

 **Mirrors cover the inner walls of the room. I can see my reflection from all angles: the gray fabric obscuring the shape of my back, my long neck, my knobby-knuckled hands, red with a blood blush. The ceiling glows white with light. In the center of the room is a reclined chair, like a dentist's, with a machine next to it. It looks like a place where terrible things happen.**

 **"Don't worry," the woman says, "it doesn't hurt."**

 **Her hair is black and straight, but in the light I see that it is streaked with gray.**

"Oh!" Zeke exclaims. "Its Tori!"

 **"Have a seat and get comfortable," she says. "My name is Tori."**

"Knew it!" Zeke pumps his fist in the air. He is met with blank looks from anyone who is not dauntless. Everyone knows Tori at dauntless.

 **Clumsily I sit in the chair and recline, putting my head on the headrest. The lights hurt my eyes. Tori busies herself with the machine on my right. I try to focus on her and not on the wires in her hands.**

 **"Why the hawk?" I blurt out as she attaches an electrode to my forehead.**

 **"Never met a curious Abnegation before," she says, raising her eyebrows at me.**

some people laugh. "Definitely Tori!" Uriah says.

 **I shiver, and goose bumps appear on my arms. My curiosity is a mistake, a betrayal of Abnegation values.**

 **Humming a little, she presses another electrode to my forehead and explains, "In some parts of the ancient world, the hawk symbolized the sun. Back when I got this, I figured if I always had the sun on me, I wouldn't be afraid of the dark."**

 **I try to stop myself from asking another question, but I can't help it. "You're afraid of the dark?"**

 **"I was afraid of the dark," she corrects me. She presses the next electrode to her own forehead, and attaches a wire to it. She shrugs. "Now it reminds me of the fear I've overcome."**

 **She stands behind me. I squeeze the armrests so tightly the redness pulls away from my knuckles. She tugs wires toward her, attaching them to me, to her, to the machine behind her. Then she passes me a vial of clear liquid.**

 **"Drink this," she says.**

 **"What is it?" My throat feels swollen. I swallow hard. "What's going to happen?"**

 **"Can't tell you that. Just trust me."**

"Yeah," Uriah laughs. "Trust the strange lady with her strange drink!"

 **I press air from my lungs and tip the contents of the vial into my mouth. My eyes close.**

 **When they open, an instant has passed, but I am somewhere else. I stand in the school cafeteria again, but all the long tables are empty, and I see through the glass walls that it's snowing. On the table in front of me are two baskets. In one is a hunk of cheese, and in the other, a knife the length of my forearm.**

 **Behind me, a woman's voice says, "Choose."**

 **"Why?" I ask.**

 **"Choose," she repeats.**

 **I look over my shoulder, but no one is there. I turn back to the baskets. "What will I do with them?"**

 **"Choose!" she yells.**

 **When she screams at me, my fear disappears and stubbornness replaces it. I scowl and cross my arms.**

"Tris!" Christina giggles. but I can't laugh back.

Very soon, I will have to fight for my life against Eric and Peter. I look at Tobias, and he nods at me, telling me that he will protect me.

 **"Have it your way," she says.**

 **The baskets disappear. I hear a door squeak and turn to see who it is. I see not a "who" but a "what": A dog with a pointed nose stands a few yards away from me. It crouches low and creeps toward me, its lips peeling back from its white teeth. A growl gurgles from deep in its throat, and I see why the cheese would have come in handy. Or the knife. But it's too late now.**

 **I think about running, but the dog will be faster than me. I can't wrestle it to the ground. My head pounds. I have to make a decision. If I can jump over one of the tables and use it as a shield—no, I am too short to jump over the tables, and not strong enough to tip one over.**

 **The dog snarls, and I can almost feel the sound vibrating in my skull.**

 **My biology textbook said that dogs can smell fear because of a chemical secreted by human glands in a state of duress, the same chemical a dog's prey secretes. Smelling fear leads them to attack. The dog inches toward me, its nails scraping the floor.**

 **I can't run. I can't fight. Instead I breathe in the smell of the dog's foul breath and try not to think about what it just ate. There are no whites in its eyes, just a black gleam.**

 **What else do I know about dogs? I shouldn't look it in the eye. That's a sign of aggression. I remember asking my father for a pet dog when I was young, and now, staring at the ground in front of the dog's paws, I can't remember why. It comes closer, still growling. If staring into its eyes is a sign of aggression, what's a sign of submission?**

 **My breaths are loud but steady. I sink to my knees. The last thing I want to do is lie down on the ground in front of the dog—making its teeth level with my face—but it's the best option I have. I stretch my legs out behind me and lean on my elbows. The dog creeps closer, and closer, until I feel its warm breath on my face. My arms are shaking.**

 **It barks in my ear, and I clench my teeth to keep from screaming.**

 **Something rough and wet touches my cheek. The dog's growling stops, and when I lift my head to look at it again, it is panting. It licked my face. I frown and sit on my heels. The dog props its paws up on my knees and licks my chin. I cringe, wiping the drool from my skin, and laugh.**

 **"You're not such a vicious beast, huh?"**

 **I get up slowly so I don't startle it, but it seems like a different animal than the one that faced me a few seconds ago. I stretch out a hand, carefully, so I can draw it back if I need to. The dog nudges my hand with its head. I am suddenly glad I didn't pick up the knife.**

 **I blink, and when my eyes open, a child stands across the room wearing a white dress. She stretches out both hands and squeals, "Puppy!"**

 **As she runs toward the dog at my side, I open my mouth to warn her, but I am too late. The dog turns. Instead of growling, it barks and snarls and snaps, and its muscles bunch up like coiled wire. About to pounce. I don't think, I just jump; I hurl my body on top of the dog, wrapping my arms around its thick neck.**

 **My head hits the ground. The dog is gone, and so is the little girl. Instead I am alone—in the testing room, now empty. I turn in a slow circle and can't see myself in any of the mirrors. I push the door open and walk into the hallway, but it isn't a hallway; it's a bus, and all the seats are taken.**

"That didn't happen to me," Lynn says thoughtfully.

"they use it when somebody has more than one result - it narrows it down further," Caleb tells everyone. _shut up, Caleb!_ I think.

 **I stand in the aisle and hold on to a pole. Sitting near me is a man with a newspaper. I can't see his face over the top of the paper, but I can see his hands. They are scarred, like he was burned, and they clench around the paper like he wants to crumple it.**

 **"Do you know this guy?" he asks. He taps the picture on the front page of the newspaper. The headline reads: "Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!" I stare at the word "murderer." It has been a long time since I last read that word, but even its shape fills me with dread.**

 **In the picture beneath the headline is a young man with a plain face and a beard. I feel like I do know him, though I don't remember how. And at the same time, I feel like it would be a bad idea to tell the man that.**

 **"Well?" I hear anger in his voice. "Do you?"**

 **A bad idea—no, a very bad idea. My heart pounds and I clutch the pole to keep my hands from shaking, from giving me away. If I tell him I know the man from the article, something awful will happen to me. But I can convince him that I don't. I can clear my throat and shrug my shoulders—but that would be a lie.**

 **I clear my throat.**

 **"Do you?" he repeats.**

 **I shrug my shoulders.**

 **"Well?"**

 **A shudder goes through me. My fear is irrational; this is just a test, it isn't real.**

"Interresting approach..." Will says. "I never thought that."

"Neither did I" Lynn says.

"Just read," Tobias tells everyone. _Thank you, thank you,_ I tell him with my eyes. He is tense, ready for attack.

 **"Nope," I say, my voice casual. "No idea who he is."**

 **He stands, and finally I see his face. He wears dark sunglasses and his mouth is bent into a snarl. His cheek is rippled with scars, like his hands. He leans close to my face. His breath smells like cigarettes. Not real, I remind myself. Not real.**

Caleb, Will and Eric - all the erudite transfers, (excluding Caleb - a current erudite,) look thoughtfull, but Eric looks menacing. I shiver.

 **"You're lying," he says. "You're lying!"**

 **"I am not."**

 **"I can see it in your eyes."**

 **I pull myself up straighter. "You can't."**

 **"If you know him," he says in a low voice, "you could save me. You could save me!"**

 **I narrow my eyes. "Well," I say. I set my jaw. "I don't."**

"Beatrice!" My father sounds shocked.

"Tris," I correct him. "It wasn't real, anyway, so it doesn't matter what I told him."

Dad sighs.

"Your turn to read." Lynn tells Zeke, passing the book.


	4. Chapter 4

Zeke starts reading.

 **I wake to** **sweaty palms and a pang of guilt in my chest. I am lying in the chair in the mirrored room. When I tilt my head back, I see Tori behind me. She pinches her lips together and removes electrodes from our heads. I wait for her to say something about the test—that it's over, or that I did well, although how could I do poorly on a test like this?—but she says nothing, just pulls the wires from my forehead.**

 _Dead,_ I think. _In five.minutes, I will be dead._ But I am determined not to let that happen.

 **I sit forward and wipe my palms off on my slacks. I had to have done something wrong, even if it only happened in my mind. Is that strange look on Tori's face because she doesn't know how to tell me what a terrible person I am? I wish she would just come out with it.**

 **"That," she says, "was perplexing. Excuse me, I'll be right back."**

 **Perplexing?**

Eric and Peter both lean forward. Peter has a knife.

 _Breathe, Tris._

 **I bring my knees to my chest and bury my face in them. I wish I felt like crying, because the tears might bring me a sense of release, but I don't. How can you fail a test you aren't allowed to prepare for?**

 **As the moments pass, I get more nervous. I have to wipe off my hands every few seconds as the sweat collects—or maybe I just do it because it helps me feel calmer. What if they tell me that I'm not cut out for any faction? I would have to live on the streets, with the factionless. I can't do that. To live factionless is not just to live in poverty and discomfort; it is to live divorced from society, separated from the most important thing in life: community.**

 **My mother told me once that we can't survive alone, but even if we could, we wouldn't want to. Without a faction, we have no purpose and no reason to live.**

 **I shake my head. I can't think like this. I have to stay calm.**

 _Yes, stay calm..._

 **Finally the door opens, and Tori walks back in. I grip the arms of the chair.**

 **"Sorry to worry you," Tori says. She stands by my feet with her hands in her pockets. She looks tense and pale.**

 **"Beatrice, your results were inconclusive,"**

Suddenly, there is chaos.

Peter springs from his seat, but Tobias charges into him, knocking the knife flying. It lands on the floor, and my mother runs to pick it up.

Then Eric takes action. He springs across the room with a horrific grin on his face. He wraps his fingers around my throat, but I knee him somewhere unpleasant. his eyes bulge, and he loosens his grip. I escape him, but then grabs the back of my top, pulling me around to face him, where he punches me in the nose. I feel something wet and hot, and realize it is blood pouring down my face. A sudden surge of anger causes me to shove him over and punch him in the stomach, winding him badly. Uriah and Zeke leap into action, pinning him down, and Lynn and Will run to help Tobias with Peter.

My family push me behind them, where I pinch my bloody nose and tip my head back. Tobias strides off to a different room, and comes back a few minutes later with some rope. He drags two chairs from the table into the middle of the room.

"Get them up," He growls. Everybody looks at each other.

Peter is dragged up onto the wooden chair, still struggling. One terrifying look from Tobias, and he bites his lip and stops moving. I remember when Tobias held a loaded gun to his head, and wonder if he remembers too.

This isn't Tobias - the sweet, kind man I know. This is Four, and he is angrier than I have ever seen him. There's practically steam comming from his ears.

He starts tieing Peter's hands to the arms of the chair, moving to his waist, wrapping the rope round and round him and the chair. Then he ties it off and does the same to Eric.

"Why are you helping that _bitch_ ," Eric spits once he is in the same position as Peter.

"Because that _'bitch' is my girlfriend._ Call her that again, and you will wish you had _never_ been born." Tobias is seething.

Suddenly, I realize that he has just announced our relationship to the room. There is a deadly silence.

"You're dating a fucking _initiate_? No wonder she came first, she was screwing _you, and-"_ He is cut off when Tobias punches him in the face.

" _Say that again_ ," he says. voice scarily low, face almost toutching Eric's. Even I am scared. "I _dare_ you..."

They stay like that for a few secconds, untill Eric looks away.

Tobias strides over to me. "Are you okay?" he asks me, concern all over his face. Four is gone, and my Tobias is back.

I meant to tell him I was fine, a little shaken, but alright.

Instead I just burst into ugly tears. I don't know why I cry. Maybe shock? I've not cried since All died, and it feels good to get it out. Hecuddles me, taking me to an empty loveseat, where we sit together, my face hurried in his armpit. he shushes me while I sob, untill I run out of tears.

"You want to go to bed?" he asks me.

"No," I sniff. "Just... keep reading. Please."

I could use the distraction.

 **FOUR'S POV**

I tackle Peter to the ground - he has a knife and I'm sure he will kill Tris. The knife goes flying through the air, and Natalie Prior picks it up. Good, that's out of the way. He punches my face, but its not that hard. He's obviously shocked by my assault. I punch him in the face, and pin him down. I am not there long when Lynn and Will take over. I look around for Eric, But I see Tris, Uriah and Zeke are all holding him down.

Tris steps back, and Natalie, Andrew, Caleb and Christina all stand around her, protecting her. I nod, satisfied, and run off into the hallway to search the drawers and cupboards for rope, chains or just anything I can tie those two assholes up with. They will not hurt my Tris ever again.

I find some rope after a minute or two of searching, and pull a couple of wooden chairs over. I tell Lynn and Will to put Peter on the chair. They haul him up, struggling. I give him my best death glare, and he shuts up and stops moving _very_ quickly. I tie him up.

Eventually, I have Eric in the same position.

"Why are you helping that bitch," Eric bosses at me.

"Because that 'bitch' is my girlfriend. Call her that again, and you will wish you had never been born." I don't think I have ever been this mad, ever. I don't even care that everyone knows about me and Tris anymore.

"You're dating a fucking initiate? No wonder she came first, she was screwing _you,_ and-" He stops talking when I punch him in the face. It was _extremely_ satifying. But I am still seething, so decide to work on another threat.

I lean in close to Eric, until our faces almost touch.

"Say that again," I rumble. "I dare you..."

We stare at each other for a while, challenging each other. Eric looks away first. _Ha!_

I walk towards Tris and happen to look at Marcus. His eyes are fixed on me, and his expression can only be described as awe. I smirk.

Then I look at Tris close up. Her lips are turned down, her back is slumped and she looks so tired.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

She opens her mouth, as if she is going to say something, but lets out a sob instead. My heart breaks for her. Nobody should have to hear their secrets and thoughts read out loud for thirteen other people to hear. It's even worse that two of them are Peter and Eric. I lead her over to a loveseat, where she just curls up next to me and cries into my shirt.

Caleb comes towards us, but I shake my head at him, gently. She won't want to talk to anyone right now.

Ten minutes later, she lifts her head up. Her eyes are red and puffy. She looks so tired.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I ask her gently.

"No." She shifts, and sits up straighter.

I nod at Zeke, who starts reading.

 **"Typically, each stage of the simulation eliminates one or more of the factions, but in your case, only two have been ruled out."**

 **I stare at her. "Two?" I ask. My throat is so tight it's hard to talk.**

Eric starts talking again. " _Two?_ She got _Three_ results? Impossible!"

Hey Uriah, want to go find so I tape?" It is a threat to Eric.

"Sit down." he snaps but takes the hint and stops talking.

 **"If you had shown an automatic distaste for the knife and selected the cheese, the simulation would have led you to a different scenario that confirmed your aptitude for Amity. That didn't happen, which is why Amity is out." Tori scratches the back of her neck. "Normally, the simulation progresses in a linear fashion, isolating one faction by ruling out the rest. The choices you made didn't even allow Candor, the next possibility, to be ruled out, so I had to alter the simulation to put you on the bus. And there your insistence upon dishonesty ruled out Candor."**

 **She half smiles. "Don't worry about that. Only the Candor tell the truth in that one."**

 **One of the knots in my chest loosens. Maybe I'm not an awful person.**

Peter scoffs. He gets anouther death glare. I seem to be using a lot of them today...

 **"I suppose that's not entirely true. People who tell the truth are the Candor…and the Abnegation," she says. "Which gives us a problem."**

 **My mouth falls open.**

 **"On the one hand, you threw yourself on the dog rather than let it attack the little girl, which is an Abnegation-oriented response…but on the other, when the man told you that the truth would save him, you still refused to tell it. Not an Abnegation-oriented response." She sighs. "Not running from the dog suggests Dauntless, but so does taking the knife, which you didn't do."**

"Confusing, much?" Marlene rolls her eyes.

"Not really, She's explaining that although Tris reacted that way to-"

"Rhetorical question, man," Marlene interrupts Celebs speech, sighing. "Erudite," she mutters.

 **She clears her throat and continues. "Your intelligent response to the dog indicates strong alignment with the Erudite. I have no idea what to make of your indecision in stage one, but—"**

 **"Wait," I interrupt her. "So you have no idea what my aptitude is?"**

 **"Yes and no. My conclusion," she explains, "is that you display equal aptitude for Abnegation, Dauntless, and Erudite. People who get this kind of result are…" She looks over her shoulder like she expects someone to appear behind her. "…are called…Divergent." She says the last word so quietly that I almost don't hear it, and her tense, worried look returns. She walks around the side of the chair and leans in close to me.**

 **"Beatrice," she says, "under no circumstances should you share that information with anyone. This is very important."**

 **"We aren't supposed to share our results." I nod. "I know that."**

 **"No." Tori kneels next to the chair now and places her arms on the armrest. Our faces are inches apart. "This is different. I don't mean you shouldn't share them now; I mean you should never share them with anyone, ever, no matter what happens. Divergence is extremely dangerous. You understand?"**

 **I don't understand—how could inconclusive test results be dangerous?—but I still nod. I don't want to share my test results with anyone anyway.**

 **"Okay." I peel my hands from the arms of the chair and stand. I feel unsteady.**

 **"I suggest," Tori says, "that you go home. You have a lot of thinking to do, and waiting with the others may not benefit you."**

 **"I have to tell my brother where I'm going."**

 **"I'll let him know."**

 **I touch my forehead and stare at the floor as I walk out of the room. I can't bear to look her in the eye. I can't bear to think about the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow.**

 **It's my choice now, no matter what the test says.**

 **Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite.**

 **Divergent.**

 **I decide not to take the bus. If I get home early, my father will notice when he checks the house log at the end of the day, and I'll have to explain what happened.**

Andrew shakes his headtiredly at his daughter.

 **Instead I walk. I'll have to intercept Caleb before he mentions anything to our parents, but Caleb can keep a secret.**

"Really?" Andrew raised his eyebrows at Caleb. "How many secerets has Caleb kept?"

"Oh, erm, Not many. Keep reading, please!" He is flustered.

 **I walk in the middle of the road. The buses tend to hug the curb, so it's safer here. Sometimes, on the streets near my house, I can see places where the yellow lines used to be. We have no use for them now that there are so few cars. We don't need stoplights, either, but in some places they dangle precariously over the road like they might crash down any minute.**

"We should get them looked at," Marcus says to Andrew.

Just the sound of his voice stirrs up unpleasant memories. _"This is for your own good,"_ I hear him say in my head.

I want to throttle him.

 **Renovation moves slowly through the city, which is a patchwork of new, clean buildings and old, crumbling ones. Most of the new buildings are next to the marsh, which used to be a lake a long time ago. The Abnegation volunteer agency my mother works for is responsible for most of those renovations.**

 **When I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as an outsider, I think it's beautiful. When I watch my family move in harmony; when we go to dinner parties and everyone cleans together afterward without having to be asked; when I see Caleb help strangers carry their groceries, I fall in love with this life all over again. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels genuine.**

Tris's parents look upset. They are re-living their children's betrayal, and it must be difficult.

 **But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently.**

"That was the only reason you wanted to stay?" Natalie sounds pained. Tris nods, and bursts inro tears again, burrowing into my armpit, leaving it a bit soggy. I don't mind.

 **Just past the Abnegation sector of the city is the stretch of building skeletons and broken sidewalks that I now walk through. There are places where the road has completely collapsed, revealing sewer systems and empty subways that I have to be careful to avoid, and places that stink so powerfully of sewage and trash that I have to plug my nose.**

There is a chorus of 'eew,'s.

 **This is where the factionless live. Because they failed to complete initiation into whatever faction they chose, they live in poverty, doing the work no one else wants to do. They are janitors and construction workers and garbage collectors; they make fabric and operate trains and drive buses. In return for their work they get food and clothing, but, as my mother says, not enough of either.**

 **I see a factionless man standing on the corner up ahead. He wears ragged brown clothing and skin sags from his jaw. He stares at me, and I stare back at him, unable to look away.**

 **"Excuse me," he says. His voice is raspy. "Do you have something I can eat?"**

 **I feel a lump in my throat. A stern voice in my head says, Duck your head and keep walking.**

 **No. I shake my head. I should not be afraid of this man. He needs help and I am supposed to help him.**

 **"Um…yes," I say. I reach into my bag. My father tells me to keep food in my bag at all times for exactly this reason. I offer the man a small bag of dried apple slices.**

Tris's parents both grin at Tris.

 **He reaches for them, but instead of taking the bag, his hand closes around my wrist. He smiles at me. He has a gap between his front teeth.**

 **"My, don't you have pretty eyes," he says. "It's a shame the rest of you is so plain."**

"How rude!" Lynn exclaims. "Hit him, Tris. Please say you hit him?" Andrew looks outraged.

"You do not hit the factionless," he says. "Don't you think they have a hard enough time, living the way they do?"

Nobody answers him.

 **My heart pounds. I tug my hand back, but his grip tightens. I smell something acrid and unpleasant on his breath.**

 **"You look a little young to be walking around by yourself, dear," he says.**

"Eeew!" Lynn says, shuddering.

 **I stop tugging, and stand up straighter. I know I look young; I don't need to be reminded. "I'm older than I look," I retort. "I'm sixteen."**

 **His lips spread wide, revealing a gray molar with a dark pit in the side. I can't tell if he's smiling or grimacing. "Then isn't today a special day for you? The day before you choose?"**

 **"Let go of me," I say. I hear ringing in my ears. My voice sounds clear and stern—not what I expected to hear. I feel like it doesn't belong to me.**

 **I am ready. I know what to do. I picture myself bringing my elbow back and hitting him. I see the bag of apples flying away from me. I hear my running footsteps. I am prepared to act.**

"Tris!" Her father is shocked.

 **But then he releases my wrist, takes the apples, and says, "Choose wisely, little girl."**

"Well, that was an... _intense_ chapter," Will says.

There are nods around the room.

"lets not read any more," Andrew says. "Its been a long day, and Its getting late. We will read some more tomorrow."

I take Tris's hand and lead her into one of the bedrooms. She is exhausted.


	5. Chapter 5

**TRIS'S POV**

The bedroom has an erudite blue carpet and a huge oak wardrobe. Looking inside, there are heel, skirts, tank tops, jumpers, everything. And they aren't just black, there is purple, green, blue, red, white, even _silver_! The wardrobe is split in half, with the other side full of more mainly clothes - no tank tops or heels. I see a pair of tight, shiny, silver leggings in there, and I imagine Tobias wearing them, and giggle.

There is a window seat at the end of the room, and I plonk myself down on it. The garden is full of flowers - from butter cups and daisys to roses and tulips. There are rows and rows of trees with all kinds of fruit and nuts on them. I make a mental note to go and pick some at some point.

The bed has a light blue duvet, and it looks so warm, that I leap into it and snuggle down into the pillows, wrapping myself up. I sink in to the mattress.

Tobias climbs in next to me, and we snuggle, not saying a word. I fall asleep to the sound of him breathing in my ear.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hello fellow readers! I have got over _500_ views, in three days! thanks to all of you who left a review! :o)**

 **Figured I'd do a chapter that is _not_ all about them reading the books. I'm trying to make this seem as real as possible, and I don't think anyone would read non-stop until it was done, so if you suggest any other activities to me in the comments? (Also, I've read a few 'Candor or Dauntless' fics, and it looked really fun, so I wanted to do one!) Thanks!**

* * *

 **TRIS'S POV**

Tobias shakes me awake.

"Hey," he whispers.

"Hi," I say sleepily, sitting up. The sun shines through the window, hurting my eyes. I stand up and start getting dressed. I choose a black top with short sleeves and a scatter of tiny gemstones, and a black pair of jeans.

"Uriah wants to play Candor or Dauntless, since yesterday was... so difficult. Wanna come?" He asks.

"What's that?"

"Truth or dare, but you're allowed to refuse to do whatever it is, as long as you remove an item of clothing. Socks and shoes don't count. I would put another few layers on..."

I don't really want to strip off in front of anyone, but the thought of seeing Tobias shirtless sends a shiver down my spine. In a good way...

"Sure!" I grin, pulling on a plain black cardigan.

Tobias leaves the room, and Christina bounds in to replace him.

"Why didn't you tell me!?" She puts her hands on my hips. I assume she is talking about my divergence.

"Tori told me not to, and I didn't want to end up dead. I should-"

Christina waves me off. "No, no. I don't care about that - much. I _mean_ you and _Four!_ "

I am slightly taken aback. "Oh!" Well, I... um, thought everyone would say what Eric said, that I was only first because of T-Four's favouritism. Sorry, Christina..."

"Two things," She says. "One, how far have you gone? Have you had sex?"

"No!" I yell. "I - We - just... kissed!"

She laughs because I'm so flustered. I had been preparing myself for the 'divergent' talk, not this! I don't _do_ girl-talk! Especially about my own experiences!

"Two," Christina continues, "You just almost said the wrong name!"

 _Crap!_ "I didn't. What else would I call him?"

"Stop! You just scratched the back your neck - one of the first signs of a lie! _And_ you won't look me in the eye!"

Cristinas glare turns into a look of shocked realization. " _He told you his name!?_ " She squeals.

I know it is useless to lie to her. I just nod. "But I cant tell you what it is."

her expression turns into one of hurt.

"I'm sorry!" I say. "But It's not my secret to tell."

" _please?_ " she begs.

"You'll find out soon enough in the book anyway. Lets just go down."

* * *

Everyone is waiting downstairs, apart from Peter and Eric. I wonder where they are.

"Right! Lets play Candor or Dauntless!" Zeke calls, standing on the table. Some people cheer.

"No." Caleb says immediately, taking a step back. "No way."

"What's is it?" My father asks.

Mum whispers in his ear, and he turns a dark shade of red. She then does the same to Marcus, and his reaction is the same.

Marcus follows Caleb out of the room.

"I'm not leaving my daughter alone playing _this_ game!" He says, firmly.

I notice some of my friends whispering and looking at me, smiling evily. They will be trying to do everything they can to make me as embarrassed as possible. Suddenly I don't think agreeing to this game was such a good Idea.

Zeke tells us all the rules, and declares that he is starting.

"Christina," he says. "Candor or dauntless?"

"Candor," she says.

"Pansycake!" Uriah accuses Christina. She rolls her eyes.

"What's your worst fear?" Zeke questions.

Christina blushes. "Its, uh... moths..." She hangs her head.

 _"moths!?"_ Everybody laughs. Zeke is practically on the floor! Even I am laughing, and I already knew.

"It's not _that_ funny!" Christina folds her arms. She only gets more laughter as a response.

"Fine," she says. "Uriah, Candor or dauntless?"

"Dauntless, I'm no pansycake!" Many of us groan.

"That is never coming back!" Lynn shouts.

"Course it is!" Uriah grins.

"I dare you to tell us all Zekes full name!" Christina smiles sweetly at Zeke.

"No problem-o. Ezekiel!" He grins at his brother. "Sorry, bro."

Everybody giggles, and Christina mimics Zeke's laughter from before, rolling around on the floor.

"Shut up," Zeke growls.

"Calm down, Ezekiel!" Lynn smirks.

he glares daggers at Lynn. If I were her, I would be terrified right now...

"Tris, Candor or dauntless?" Uriah asks me.

"Dauntless." I say, without thinking.

"Excellent!" Uriah rubs his hands together in glee.

 _Oh no,_ I think. Time to be mightily embarrassed...

"I dare you to kiss everybody in the room, and rate them one to ten. Ten being the best, one being absolutely awful. Including the girls! Not just a peck, but full on snogging!"

I look at him for a second, shocked. Then I look at my dad. He is more shocked than I am. But I will not be the first to take something off, no matter what.

I stand up and lean in towards Tobias, heart racing. Have his eyes always been so blue?

He closes the gap, and we kiss. His lips are warm and soft. Everything else in the room disappears as he deepens the kiss. His hand tangles in my hair.

Lynn clears her throat, and I snap back to reality. Everybody stares. My father looks horrified. Abnegation don't even hold hands in public, let alone _that._ I remember the first time I saw somebody kissing in public.

"Ten" I say, ignoring everyone. Zeke is next.

"Seven."

"Hey!" Zeke exclaims. "I'm at _least_ a nine!"

I just shrug, and kiss Uriah.

"Nine," I tell him, and Zeke glares. I laugh.

I work my way around the room, rating as I go. None are as good as Tobias.

I have a last glance at my father. He is open mouthed. I suddenly feel quite embarrassed.

And then I think of an amazing dare...

"Will-"

"Dauntless." He interrupts.

 _Yes!_

"Christina and will, follow me!" I dash through into the bedroom, Will and Christina running after me.

I dig through the wardrobe until I find what I'm looking for. It is a tight, figure hugging pink and silver dress. The two colours fade together. There seem to be tiny circles cut out all over it, so you can see right to the other side. I grin.

"Will, I dare you to let christina dress you up - full make-up and heels! Wearing _this_ dress!"

" _What?!"_

Christina is already digging through my drawers, looking for mascara.

"Have fun!" I grin, going to wait with the others.

Ten minutes later, christina walks into the room.

"Introducing... _Wilma!_ " She announces.

Will stomps into the room - well, he tries to stomp, but he just stumbles instead. Christina has got him in a pair of hot pink heels!

The laughter is endless. Uriah and zeke are on the floor, and even my father looks amused.

Will is wearing silver eyeshadow, and his lips are a deep shade of pink. Christina has even used some hair gel to style Will's hair so it has a parting right down the middle!

He looks ridiculous.

"Alright, calm down," Will grumbles.

"Wi- Wilma!" Zeke cries between gasps of breath - he is shaking from laughter, tears rolling from his eyes. he calms down just enough to sit back down on his chair, but he then glances at Will's scowling face, which sets him off again.

"Shut it!" Will growls, wobbling over to his seat. "Four, candor or dauntless!"

"Dauntless."

"I dare you to..." He pauses, either for dramatic effect, or just to think of something good. "To brush your teeth and then drink orange juice!" He sits back on his chair, satisfied.

"No." Tobias states. "I have done that before, and it was revolting! Tris, C or D?" He takes off his shirt, and a shiver runs down my spine.

"D"

"Kiss me," he says, leaning towards me.

Everyone starts whistling, shouting catcalls. Eventually, Zeke throws a cushion at us, and we break apart.

Again, my father looks disapproving.

 _I don't care._

"Uriah, I dare you to eat a paintball!" I say, remembering that night when we were coming back from capture the flag, and he accidentally squirted one into his mouth.

"We don't have any," Uriah says, looking pleased.

"Actually, before we ended up here, I had just found a paintball under my bed, and decided I would go and throw it at my little bro, but this is even better! Here you go, Urine!" Zeke smiles at Uriah.

He ignores the nickname, takes the neon orange ball from Zeke, and actually bites into it.

His face scrunches up, and he spits it everywhere, spraying icky orange paint and saliva everywhere.

"Eew!" Will yells.

"My new top!" Lynn screeches. She storms over to Uriah, and punches him in the gut.

 _"Hey!"_ He shouts.

"Now now," My dad stands up. "Violence isn't the answer!"

"It is in dauntless!" Lynn glares.

"Dad," I say, as he starts walking towards Lynn. "This happens a lot, its normal."

"It's normal to assault innocent people?" He questions.

"He is not innocent! I only bought this top last week!" Lynn rages.

Dad just sighs, and sits back down.

"Christina, C or D?"

"D."

"Shave you're eyebrows off!" Uriah exclaims.

Christina pulls her top over her head.

"Four, Candor or dauntless?"

"Dauntless." He responds immediately.

"I dare you to reveal your name!"

He shakes his head.

"Oh my..." I hear my father gasp. "You're-"

" _Dad!_ " I yell. Tobias is tense.

"I think we should just keep reading the book," Tobias says wearily.

"Yeah, this is getting a little crazy..." Will agrees.

Everyone gets their clothes back on, sighing.

* * *

 **AN: Hey! Just reminding you to suggest some more activities for the group to try!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello readers! Sorry I'm taking so long to get these chapters out, but I've just started a new school, and everything's a little hectic. Thanks for the suggestions to play 'never have I ever' and 'are you getting nervous yet!' I will probably use them later on in the story.**

Will disappears, returning shortly with Eric and Peter. Apparently they had locked them in a room together. They both stare daggers at me. Neither is tied to anything, but everyone is ready to protect me if necessary.

I am so lucky to have friends like these. Christina didn't even seem to care - just needed to know about my boyfriend! Typical Christina...

Uriah reads today.

 **I reach my street five minutes before I usually do, according to my watch—which is the only adornment Abnegation allows, and only because it's practical. It has a gray band and a glass face. If I tilt it right, I can almost see my reflection over the hands.**

"You're obsessed with your reflection!" Christina accuses me.

"And you're not?" I retort. Christina just shrugs. "I was just curious!" I add.

 **The houses on my street are all the same size and shape. They are made of gray cement, with few windows, in economical, no-nonsense rectangles. Their lawns are crabgrass and their mailboxes are dull metal. To some the sight might be gloomy, but to me their simplicity is comforting.**

 **The reason for the simplicity isn't disdain for uniqueness, as the other factions have sometimes interpreted it. Everything—our houses, our clothes, our hairstyles—is meant to help us forget ourselves and to protect us from vanity, greed, and envy, which are just forms of selfishness. If we have little, and want for little, and we are all equal, we envy no one.**

"You envied us - dauntless, and Caleb envied erudite! So it doesn't work!" Will exclaims.

A few people nod.

 **I try to love it.**

 **I sit on the front step and wait for Caleb to arrive. It doesn't take long. After a minute I see gray-robed forms walking down the street. I hear laughter. At school we try not to draw attention to ourselves, but once we're home, the games and jokes start. My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated.**

There is laughter from everyone.

 **Sarcasm is always at someone's expense. Maybe it's better that Abnegation wants me to suppress it. Maybe I don't have to leave my family. Maybe if I fight to make Abnegation work, my act will turn into reality.**

My parents look down, obviously upset. I dont like them hearing my thoughts about abnegation. It only seems to make them more upset.

 **"Beatrice!" Caleb says. "What happened? Are you all right?"**

 **"I'm fine." He is with Susan and her brother, Robert, and Susan is giving me a strange look, like I am a different person than the one she knew this morning. I shrug. "When the test was over, I got sick. Must have been that liquid they gave us. I feel better now, though."**

"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Zeke and Uriah chant together. I throw a pillow at them, so Uriah keeps reading.

 **I try to smile convincingly. I seem to have persuaded Susan and Robert, who no longer look concerned for my mental stability, but Caleb narrows his eyes at me, the way he does when he suspects someone of duplicity.**

 **"Did you two take the bus today?" I ask. I don't care how Susan and Robert got home from school, but I need to change the subject.**

"Ouch, the stiff doesn't care," Peter says. I tactfully ignore him.

 **"Our father had to work late," Susan says, "and he told us we should spend some time thinking before the ceremony tomorrow."**

 **My heart pounds at the mention of the ceremony.**

 **"You're welcome to come over later, if you'd like," Caleb says politely.**

 **"Thank you." Susan smiles at Caleb.**

 **Robert raises an eyebrow at me. He and I have been exchanging looks for the past year-**

"Ooh!" some of the girls call.

"Not like that!" I say.

 **as Susan and Caleb flirt in the tentative way known only to the Abnegation.**

 **"See?"**

"We did _not_ flirt!" Caleb cries indignantly.

I raise my eyebrows at him.

"We _did not!"_ He insists.

 **Caleb's eyes follow Susan down the walk. I have to grab his arm to startle him from his daze.**

I laugh at his grumpy face.

 **I lead him into the house and close the door behind us.**

 **He turns to me. His dark, straight eyebrows draw together so that a crease appears between them. When he frowns, he looks more like my mother than my father. In an instant I can see him living the same kind of life my father did: staying in Abnegation, learning a trade, marrying Susan, and having a family. It will be wonderful.**

 **I may not see it.**

 **"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" he asks softly.**

 **"The truth is," I say, "I'm not supposed to discuss it. And you're not supposed to ask."**

 **"All those rules you bend, and you can't bend this one? Not even for something this important?" His eyebrows tug together, and he bites the corner of his lip.**

"Wait a second," my father interrupts. "What other rules did you bend?"

"Uriah, read!" I say, hurriedly. Luckily, he does.

Father glares suspiciously.

 **Though his words are accusatory, it sounds like he is probing me for information—like he actually wants my answer.**

"I did!"

 **I narrow my eyes. "Will you? What happened in your test, Caleb?"**

 **Our eyes meet. I hear a train horn, so faint it could easily be wind whistling through an alleyway. But I know it when I hear it. It sounds like the Dauntless, calling me to them.**

Zeke fake-coughs. " _Stalker_ ," and then he smiles sweetly at me.

 **"Just…don't tell our parents what happened, okay?" I say.**

"Why not?" My mother asks.

"I dont know... you would have asked me about it, and then I would have to explain about my result, when Tori said not to. I guess I was just a little paniced."

Mother nods understandingly.

 **His eyes stay on mine for a few seconds, and then he nods.**

 **I want to go upstairs and lie down. The test, the walk, and my encounter with the factionless man exhausted me. But my brother made breakfast this morning, and my mother prepared our lunches, and my father made dinner last night, so it's my turn to cook. I breathe deeply and walk into the kitchen to start cooking.**

 **A minute later, Caleb joins me. I grit my teeth. He helps with everything. What irritates me most about him is his natural goodness, his inborn selflessness.**

Caleb wriggles, uncomfortable.

 **Caleb and I work together without speaking. I cook peas on the stove. He defrosts four pieces of chicken. Most of what we eat is frozen or canned, because farms these days are far away. My mother told me once that, a long time ago, there were people who wouldn't buy genetically engineered produce because they viewed it as unnatural. Now we have no other option.**

 **By the time my parents get home, dinner is ready and the table is set. My father drops his bag at the door and kisses my head. Other people see him as an opinionated man—too opinionated, maybe—but he's also loving. I try to see only the good in him; I try.**

"Opinionated?" He scowls. Mother puts her hand on his arm and he calms down a little.

 **"How did the test go?" he asks me. I pour the peas into a serving bowl.**

 **"Fine," I say. I couldn't be Candor. I lie too easily.**

 **"I heard there was some kind of upset with one of the tests," my mother says. Like my father, she works for the government, but she manages city improvement projects. She recruited volunteers to administer the aptitude tests. Most of the time, though, she organizes workers to help the factionless with food and shelter and job opportunities.**

 **"Really?" says my father. A problem with the aptitude tests is rare.**

 **"I don't know much about it, but my friend Erin told me that something went wrong with one of the tests, so the results had to be reported verbally." My mother places a napkin next to each plate on the table. "Apparently the student got sick and was sent home early." My mother shrugs. "I hope they're all right. Did you two hear about that?"**

 **"No," Caleb says. He smiles at my mother.**

" _LIES!"_ Uriah yells suddenly.

 **My brother couldn't be Candor either.**

"Never," Caleb says.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Christina cries indignantly.

"You shouldn't be defending your old faction. Faction before blood," Peter tutts.

"I was just-"

Eric interrupts Christina, shouting at Uriah to keep reading.

 **We sit at the table. We always pass food to the right, and no one eats until everyone is served. My father extends his hands to my mother and my brother, and they extend their hands to him and me, and my father gives thanks to God for food and work and friends and family. Not every Abnegation family is religious, but my father says we should try not to see those differences because they will only divide us. I am not sure what to make of that.**

 **"So," my mother says to my father. "Tell me."**

 **She takes my father's hand and moves her thumb in a small circle over his knuckles. I stare at their joined hands. My parents love each other, but they rarely show affection like this in front of us. They taught us that physical contact is powerful, so I have been wary of it since I was young.**

 **"Tell me what's bothering you," she adds.**

 **I stare at my plate. My mother's acute senses sometimes surprise me, but now they chide me. Why was I so focused on myself that I didn't notice his deep frown and his sagging posture?**

 **"I had a difficult day at work," he says. "Well, really, it was Marcus who had the difficult day. I shouldn't lay claim to it."**

I see Tobias sighing out of the corner of my eye. I understand why.

 **Marcus is my father's coworker; they are both political leaders. The city is ruled by a council of fifty people, composed entirely of representatives from Abnegation, because our faction is regarded as incorruptible, due to our commitment to selflessness.**

Tobias rolls his eyes.

 **Our leaders are selected by their peers for their impeccable character, moral fortitude, and leadership skills. Representatives from each of the other factions can speak in the meetings on behalf of a particular issue, but ultimately, the decision is the council's. And while the council technically makes decisions together, Marcus is particularly influential.**

 **It has been this way since the beginning of the great peace, when the factions were formed. I think the system persists because we're afraid of what might happen if it didn't: war.**

 **"Is this about that report Jeanine Matthews released?" my mother says. Jeanine Matthews is Erudite's sole representative, selected based on her IQ score. My father complains about her often.**

 **I look up. "A report?"**

 **Caleb gives me a warning look. We aren't supposed to speak at the dinner table unless our parents ask us a direct question, and they usually don't. Our listening ears are a gift to them, my father says. They give us their listening ears after dinner, in the family room.**

All of the dauntless borns burst out laughing.

"What?" I ask, confused at their giggles.

" _Listening ears?_ " Lynn is in hysterics. "Are you in _nursery school_ or something?"

"Shut up. Keep reading, Uriah!" I glare at him.

 **"Yes," my father says. His eyes narrow. "Those arrogant, self-righteous—" He stops and clears his throat. "Sorry. But she released a report attacking Marcus's character."**

 **I raise my eyebrows.**

 **"What did it say?" I ask.**

 **"Beatrice," Caleb says quietly.**

"Sereously?" Christina puts her hands on her hips. "Can't you let her ask a _single_ question? Let her do a _single thing_ wrong?"

"I was just trying to help her," Caleb defends.

Uriah tactfully continues reading. Luckily.

 **I duck my head, turning my fork over and over and over until the warmth leaves my cheeks. I don't like to be chastised. Especially by my brother.**

"See?" Christina scowls.

 **"It said," my father says, "that Marcus's violence and cruelty toward his son is the reason his son chose Dauntless instead of Abnegation."**

Tobias stiffens as my parents eyes land on him. They know who he is, and I just hope they don't say anything. I take his hand, and squeeze lightly, reminding him that I'm here and to calm down.

 **Few people who are born into Abnegation choose to leave it. When they do, we remember. Two years ago, Marcus's son, Tobias, left us for the Dauntless, and Marcus was devastated. Tobias was his only child—and his only family, since his wife died giving birth to their second child. The infant died minutes later.**

 **I never met Tobias. He rarely attended community events and never joined his father at our house for dinner. My father often remarked that it was strange, but now it doesn't matter.**

 **"Cruel? Marcus?" My mother shakes her head. "That poor man. As if he needs to be reminded of his loss."**

Tobias closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, obviously fighting to keep control.

 **"Of his son's betrayal, you mean?" my father says coldly. "I shouldn't be surprised at this point. The Erudite have been attacking us with these reports for months. And this isn't the end. There will be more, I guarantee it."**

 **I shouldn't speak again, but I can't help myself. I blurt out, "Why are they doing this?"**

 **"Why don't you take this opportunity to listen to your father, Beatrice?" my mother says gently. It is phrased like a suggestion, not a command. I look across the table at Caleb, who has that look of disapproval in his eyes.**

"Oh my!" Christina says again.

 **I stare at my peas. I am not sure I can live this life of obligation any longer. I am not good enough.**

 **"You know why," my father says. "Because we have something they want. Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power, and that leads men into dark and empty places. We should be thankful that we know better."**

 **I nod. I know I will not choose Erudite, even though my test results suggested that I could. I am my father's daughter.**

Caleb sighs, and so does Tobias - knowing that all talk about him and Marcus are over.

 **My parents clean up after dinner. They don't even let Caleb help them, because we're supposed to keep to ourselves tonight instead of gathering in the family room, so we can think about our results.**

 **My family might be able to help me choose, if I could talk about my results. But I can't. Tori's warning whispers in my memory every time my resolve to keep my mouth shut falters.**

 **Caleb and I climb the stairs and, at the top, when we divide to go to our separate bedrooms, he stops me with a hand on my shoulder.**

 **"Beatrice," he says, looking sternly into my eyes. "We should think of our family." There is an edge to his voice. "But. But we must also think of ourselves."**

"Plot twist!" Uriah yells. Everyone glablades, and be hurridly keeps reading.

 **For a moment I stare at him. I have never seen him think of himself, never heard him insist on anything but selflessness.**

 **I am so startled by his comment that I just say what I am supposed to say: "The tests don't have to change our choices."**

 **He smiles a little. "Don't they, though?"**

 **He squeezes my shoulder and walks into his bedroom. I peer into his room and see an unmade bed and a stack of books on his desk. He closes the door. I wish I could tell him that we're going through the same thing. I wish I could speak to him like I want to instead of like I'm supposed to. But the idea of admitting that I need help is too much to bear, so I turn away.**

"you're so unobservent!" Will says. "All those books were obvious pointers to his Erudite side!"

"I know," I say, sighing.

 **I walk into my room, and when I close my door behind me, I realize that the decision might be simple. It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation, or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless, and maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong. Tomorrow, those two qualities will struggle within me, and only one can win.**

"All done!" Uriah says, passing the book round the circle to Eric.

He sighes deeply, a scowl on his face, and starts the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Eric is reading - unwillingly, and in a monotone.

 **The bus we take to get to the Choosing Ceremony is full of people in gray shirts and gray slacks. A pale ring of sunlight burns into the clouds like the end of a lit cigarette. I will never smoke one myself—they are closely tied to vanity—but a crowd of Candor smokes them in front of the building when we get off the bus.**

"Smoking causes lung disease" Celeb blurts. Everyone stares at him.

"What? It's true!"

 **I have to tilt my head back to see the top of the Hub, and even then, part of it disappears into the clouds. It is the tallest building in the city. I can see the lights on the two prongs on its roof from my bedroom window.**

 **I follow my parents off the bus. Caleb seems calm, but so would I, if I knew what I was going to do. Instead I get the distinct impression that my heart will burst out of my chest any minute now, and I grab his arm to steady myself as I walk up the front steps.**

"I had absolutely no idea what to do," Caleb tells me.

"I know that now," I reply. I wish I had gotten to know my brother better, but maybe this is my chance to.

 **The elevator is crowded, so my father volunteers to give a cluster of Amity our place. We climb the stairs instead, following him unquestioningly. We set an example for our fellow faction members, and soon the three of us are engulfed in the mass of gray fabric ascending cement stairs in the half light. I settle into their pace. The uniform pounding of feet in my ears and the homogeneity of the people around me makes me believe that I could choose this. I could be subsumed into Abnegation's hive mind, projecting always outward.**

 **But then my legs get sore, and I struggle to breathe, and I am again distracted by myself. We have to climb twenty flights of stairs to get to the Choosing Ceremony.**

"Everyone thinks of themselves once in a while, B- Tris. You weren't as bad at being abnegation as you think," my mother tells me gently.

I nod, agreeing.

 **My father holds the door open on the twentieth floor and stands like a sentry as every Abnegation walks past him. I would wait for him, but the crowd presses me forward, out of the stairwell and into the room where I will decide the rest of my life.**

"Dun. Dun. _Duuuuun!"_ Uriah sings dramatically.

 **The room is arranged in concentric circles. On the edges stand the sixteen-year-olds of every faction. We are not called members yet; our decisions today will make us initiates, and we will become members if we complete initiation.**

 **We arrange ourselves in alphabetical order, according to the last names we may leave behind today. I stand between Caleb and Danielle Pohler, an Amity girl with rosy cheeks and a yellow dress.**

"How did you know?" Christina asks me, tilting her head to the side.

"Know what?"

"The amity girls name?"

"Oh. We asked her so we could get into the right order," I explain.

 **Rows of chairs for our families make up the next circle. They are arranged in five sections, according to faction. Not everyone in each faction comes to the Choosing Ceremony, but enough of them come that the crowd looks huge.**

 **The responsibility to conduct the ceremony rotates from faction to faction each year, and this year is Abnegation's. Marcus will give the opening address and read the names in reverse alphabetical order. Caleb will choose before me.**

 **In the last circle are five metal bowls so large they could hold my entire body, if I curled up. Each one contains a substance that represents each faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.**

"The water and glass must look so icky by the time everyone's bled onto them," Zeke points out.

"The stones probably aren't that nice either," Uriah adds.

"Do you think they tip Amity's bowl of earth back into the ground again? Can you imagine - walking through the park, and then suddely a big pile of bloody mud appears!" Zeke shudders.

"Are you going to analize everything that is said in this book? Shut up!" Eric snaps.

The room goes silent.

 **When Marcus calls my name, I will walk to the center of the three circles. I will not speak. He will offer me a knife. I will cut into my hand and sprinkle my blood into the bowl of the faction I choose.** **My blood on the stones. My blood sizzling on the coals.**

All the dauntless cheer.

 **Before my parents sit down, they stand in front of Caleb and me. My father kisses my forehead and claps Caleb on the shoulder, grinning.** **"See you soon," he says. Without a trace of doubt.**

He hangs his head, ashamed. I want to say something to cheer him up, but can't think of anything.

 **My mother hugs me, and what little resolve I have left almost breaks. I clench my jaw and stare up at the ceiling, where globe lanterns hang and fill the room with blue light. She holds me for what feels like a long time, even after I let my hands fall. Before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what."**

"You knew?" I ask, surprised.

"Suspected," she replies.

 **I frown at her back as she walks away. She knows what I might do. She must know, or she wouldn't feel the need to say that.**

 **Caleb grabs my hand, squeezing my palm so tightly it hurts, but I don't let go. The last time we held hands was at my uncle's funeral, as my father cried. We need each other's strength now, just as we did then.**

 **The room slowly comes to order. I should be observing the Dauntless; I should be taking in as much information as I can, but I can only stare at the lanterns across the room. I try to lose myself in the blue glow.**

 **Marcus stands at the podium between the Erudite and the Dauntless and clears his throat into the microphone. "Welcome," he says. "Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world."**

"Can we skip this bit?" Zeke asks. "It's so dull!"

"No." Marcus states. Everyone sighs.

 **Or, it occurs to me, one of five predetermined ways. I squeeze Caleb's fingers as hard as he is squeezing mine.** **"Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be." Marcus's voice is solemn and gives equal weight to each word. "Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality—of humankind's inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray."**

 **My eyes shift to the bowls in the center of the room. What do I believe? I do not know; I do not know; I do not know.**

"I don't think Tris knows!" Will says, smirking.

 **"Those who blamed aggression formed Amity."** **The Amity exchange smiles. They are dressed comfortably, in red or yellow. Every time I see them, they seem kind, loving, free. But joining them has never been an option for me.** **"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite."** **Ruling out Erudite was the only part of my choice that was easy.**

Caleb raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug in reply.

 **"Those who blamed duplicity created Candor."** **I have never liked Candor.** **"Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation."**

 **I blame selfishness; I do.**

 **"And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless."**

The dauntless cheer again, earning a glare from Eric.

 **But I am not selfless enough. Sixteen years of trying and I am not enough.**

 **My legs go numb, like all the life has gone out of them, and I wonder how I will walk when my name is called.**

 **"Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life."**

"Blah blah blah," Lynn sighs.

Marcus glares at her, obviously not happy that what he is saying is considered 'boring'.

 **I think of the motto I read in my Faction History textbook: Faction before blood. More than family, our factions are where we belong. Can that possibly be right?** **Marcus adds, "Apart from them, we would not survive."**

 **The silence that follows his words is heavier than other silences. It is heavy with our worst fear, greater even than the fear of death: to be factionless.**

 **Marcus continues, "Therefore this day marks a happy occasion—the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."**

 **A round of applause. It sounds muffled. I try to stand completely still, because if my knees are locked and my body is stiff-**

Peter snorts. "The stiff is feeling stiff! how terrible!"

"Shut it, Peter!" Lynn yells. Peter hasn't made any friends from yesterday - when he attacked me.

 **I don't shake. Marcus reads the first names, but I can't tell one syllable from the other. How will I know when he calls my name?**

 **One by one, each sixteen-year-old steps out of line and walks to the middle of the room. The first girl to choose decides on Amity, the same faction from which she came. I watch her blood droplets fall on soil, and she stands behind their seats alone.**

 **The room is constantly moving, a new name and a new person choosing, a new knife and a new choice. I recognize most of them, but I doubt they know me.**

 **"James Tucker," Marcus says.**

 **James Tucker of the Dauntless is the first person to stumble on his way to the bowls. He throws his arms out and regains his balance before hitting the floor. His face turns red and he walks fast to the middle of the room. When he stands in the center, he looks from the Dauntless bowl to the Candor bowl—the orange flames that rise higher each moment, and the glass reflecting blue light.**

 **Marcus offers him the knife. He breathes deeply—I watch his chest rise—and, as he exhales, accepts the knife. Then he drags it across his palm with a jerk and holds his arm out to the side. His blood falls onto glass, and he is the first of us to switch factions. The first faction transfer. A mutter rises from the Dauntless section, and I stare at the floor.**

 **They will see him as a traitor from now on. His Dauntless family will have the option of visiting him in his new faction, a week and a half from now on Visiting Day, but they won't, because he left them.**

 **His absence will haunt their hallways, and he will be a space they can't fill. And then time will pass, and the hole will be gone, like when an organ is removed and the body's fluids flow into the space it leaves. Humans can't tolerate emptiness for long.**

 **"Caleb Prior," says Marcus.**

 **Caleb squeezes my hand one last time, and as he walks away, casts a long look at me over his shoulder. I watch his feet move to the center of the room, and his hands, steady as they accept the knife from Marcus, are deft as one presses the knife into the other. Then he stands with blood pooling in his palm, and his lip snags on his teeth.**

 **He breathes out. And then in. And then he holds his hand over the Erudite bowl, and his blood drips into the water, turning it a deeper shade of red.**

 **I hear mutters that lift into outraged cries. I can barely think straight. My brother, my selfless brother, a faction transfer? My brother, born for Abnegation, Erudite?** **When I close my eyes, I see the stack of books on Caleb's desk, and his shaking hands sliding along his legs after the aptitude test. Why didn't I realize that when he told me to think of myself yesterday, he was also giving that advice to himself?**

"Exactly!" Christina shouts.

 **I scan the crowd of the Erudite—they wear smug smiles and nudge each other. The Abnegation, normally so placid, speak to one another in tense whispers and glare across the room at the faction that has become our enemy.**

 **"Excuse me," says Marcus, but the crowd doesn't hear him. He shouts, "Quiet, please!"**

 **The room goes silent. Except for a ringing sound.**

 **I hear my name and a shudder propels me forward. Halfway to the bowls, I am sure that I will choose Abnegation. I can see it now. I watch myself grow into a woman in Abnegation robes, marrying Susan's brother, Robert-**

Tobias snigger. He obviously remembers Robert.

 **Volunteering on the weekends, the peace of routine, the quiet nights spent in front of the fireplace, the certainty that I will be safe, and if not good enough, better than I am now.**

 **The ringing, I realize, is in my ears.** **I look at Caleb, who now stands behind the Erudite. He stares back at me and nods a little, like he knows what I'm thinking, and agrees. My footsteps falter. If Caleb wasn't fit for Abnegation, how can I be? But what choice do I have, now that he left us and I'm the only one who remains? He left me no other option.**

 **I set my jaw. I will be the child that stays; I have to do this for my parents. I have to.**

"Beatrice..." My father says.

 **Marcus offers me my knife. I look into his eyes—they are dark blue, a strange color—and take it. He nods, and I turn toward the bowls. Dauntless fire and Abnegation stones are both on my left, one in front of my shoulder and one behind.**

The whole room is tense, even though they know what happens next. Even Eric is putting a little feeling into his voice as he reads - instead of the monotone he was speaking in before.

 **I hold the knife in my right hand and touch the blade to my palm. Gritting my teeth, I drag the blade down. It stings, but I barely notice. I hold both hands to my chest, and my next breath shudders on the way out.** **I open my eyes and thrust my arm out. My blood drips onto the carpet between the two bowls. Then, with a gasp I can't contain, I shift my hand forward, and my blood sizzles on the coals.**

 **I am selfish. I am brave.**

There is a long silence.

"Lets go to bed," I say, looking outside at the moon. It is big and bright against the dark sky. Stars twinkle beautifully.

One by one, everyone starts moving to the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N: Hello guys! I am so sorry for taking so long to get this out, but I've had a very busy week, with a new school, and I've been helping my gran around her flat that she's just moved to as well. I have not done a proper spell check, so you'll have to deal with it just for this one chapter. Here in Scotland it has been really really scorching hot this week, so I was out making the most of it, which is another reason why this chapter was late. But its the summer holidays in two weeks!!! WOOOO! I'm going to Haven!** **So excited!!! What are you all doing during the holidays? Feel free to PM me, even just for a chat! always happy to talk to my adoring fans! xD**

 **Also, I forgot to say thanks to** DivergentUnicorn46 **and** mnm456 **for suggesting the games 'never have I ever' and 'are you nervous yet'. I will definitely do 'never have I ever', and I might do the other one. Not decided yet.**

 **But I won't keep you any longer. Enjoy this chapter of Divergent Revealed! Xx**

.oOo.

Peter is reading. I wish he wasn't. He keeps looking at me and snickering, and I feel really uncomfortable. He reads slowly, enunciating every word. His voice is low, almost as if he's trying to make what he's saying sound dangerous or something...

 **I train my eyes on the floor and stand behind the Dauntless-born initiates who chose to return to their own faction. They are all taller than I am, so even when I lift my head, I see only black-clothed shoulders. When the last girl makes her choice—Amity—it's time to leave. The Dauntless exit first. I walk past the gray-clothed men and women who were my faction, staring determinedly at the back of someone's head.**

"Why?" Will giggles. "Were you trying to burn them or something?"

I laugh, shaking my head.

 **But I have to see my parents one more time. I look over my shoulder at the last second before I pass them, and immediately wish I hadn't. My father's eyes burn into mine with a look of accusation. At first, when I feel the heat behind my eyes, I think he's found a way to set me on fire, to punish me for what I've done, but no—I'm about to cry.**

My mother gives him a glare, almost identical to the one he gave me that day. He has the grace to look sheepish.

 **Beside him, my mother is smiling.**

"I like you," Christina states, her Candor side showing. "You accept Tris for who she is and respect what she chose. That's a quality all parents should have." She also shoots a glare at my father. I wouldn't like to be him. Christina's glares are quite terrifying. He looks away from her.

I smile at Christina, thankful, and she grins back.

 **The people behind me press me forward, away from my family, who will be the last ones to leave. They may even stay to stack the chairs and clean the bowls. I twist my head around to find Caleb in the crowd of Erudite behind me. He stands among the other initiates, shaking hands with a faction transfer, a boy who was Candor. The easy smile he wears is an act of betrayal. My stomach wrenches and I turn away. If it's so easy for him, maybe it should be easy for me, too.**

"It was not easy at all," Caleb defends, sounding both guilty and indignant. "I thought if i tried not to care, then eventually I wouldn't and then maybe, I wouldn't have cried every night throughout initiation."

"You cried every night?" I say, surprised. I think of Al, and how he did the same. Did anyone try to comfort Caleb, like I should have to Al?

"Crybaby," Peter taunts. Caleb shrinks into his seat.

I stand up, ready to hit him, to wipe the smirk right off his face — preferably with a blunt fork — or maybe a butter knife...? But then Tobias takes my hand and pulls me back down. I glower at him, seething. Nobody insults my family — especially not Peter.

He hurriedly continues reading.

 **I glance at the boy to my left, who was Erudite and now looks as pale and nervous as I should feel. I spent all my time worrying about which faction I would choose and never considered what would happen if I chose Dauntless. What waits for me at Dauntless headquarters?**

 **The crowd of Dauntless leading us go to the stairs instead of the elevators. I thought only the Abnegation used the stairs.**

"If we all had to wait for the elevator, half of us would miss the train and end up having to walk back to Dauntless!" Uriah says.

"And its fun!" Marlene adds. "I always race Lynn to the top! And I always win!" She smirks at Lynn, who scowls back at her. Everyone laughs.

 **Then everyone starts running. I hear whoops and shouts and laughter all around me, and dozens of thundering feet moving at different rhythms. It is not a selfless act for the Dauntless to take the stairs; it is a wild act.**

"Too right, it is!" Zeke yells.

 **"What the hell is going on?" the boy next to me shouts.**

 **I just shake my head and keep running. I am breathless when we reach the first floor, and the Dauntless burst through the exit. Outside, the air is crisp and cold and the sky is orange from the setting sun. It reflects off the black glass of the Hub.**

 **The Dauntless sprawl across the street, blocking the path of a bus, and I sprint to catch up to the back of the crowd. My confusion dissipates as I run. I have not run anywhere in a long time. Abnegation discourages anything done strictly for my own enjoyment, and that is what this is: my lungs burning, my muscles aching, the fierce pleasure of a flat-out sprint. I follow the Dauntless down the street and around the corner and hear a familiar sound: the train horn.**

 **"Oh no," mumbles the Erudite boy. "Are we supposed to hop on that thing?"**

"I bet that was Will!" Lynn accuses him. There are shouts of agreement.

 **"Yes," I say, breathless.**

"They make you jump onto a moving train before you even get to the compound?!" Caleb exclaims, obviously shocked. "Don't they... train you or something?"

Everyone from dauntless shakes their heads, grinning.

"Of course not..." I hear Caleb sigh.

 **It is good that I spent so much time watching the Dauntless arrive at school. The crowd spreads out in a long line. The train glides toward us on steel rails, its light flashing, its horn blaring. The door of each car is open, waiting for the Dauntless to pile in, and they do, group by group, until only the new initiates are left. The Dauntless-born initiates are used to doing this by now, so in a second it's just faction transfers left.**

 **I step forward with a few others and start jogging. We run with the car for a few steps and then throw ourselves sideways. I'm not as tall or as strong as some of them, so I can't pull myself into the car. I cling to a handle next to the doorway, my shoulder slamming into the car. My arms shake, and finally a Candor girl grabs me and pulls me in. Gasping, I thank her.**

"Me, its me!" Christina squeaks excitedly. "I've arrived!"

Everyone laughs at her outburst.

 **I hear a shout and look over my shoulder. A short Erudite boy with red hair pumps his arms as he tries to catch up to the train. An Erudite girl by the door reaches out to grab the boy's hand, straining, but he is too far behind. He falls to his knees next to the tracks as we sail away, and puts his head in his hands.**

 **I feel uneasy. He just failed Dauntless initiation. He is factionless now. It could happen at any moment.**

The room is silent.

 **"You all right?" the Candor girl who helped me asks briskly. She is tall, with dark brown skin and short hair. Pretty.**

"Really?" Christina raises her eyebrows.

"What?" I ask, very confused. Would she rather I had called her ugly?

"That's the description I get? That's it?"

"Hey, I didn't even get a description!" Will says. "I'm just 'the Erudite boy!'"

"Shut it!" Peter shouts. "I am trying to read here!"

Everyone just glares at him.

 **I nod.**

 **"I'm Christina," she says, offering me her hand.**

Christina cheers.

 **I haven't shaken a hand in a long time either. The Abnegation greeted one another by bowing heads, a sign of respect. I take her hand, uncertainly, and shake it twice, hoping I didn't squeeze too hard or not hard enough.**

"It was a bad handshake..." Christina tells me. "I figured it was just nerves!"

 **"Beatrice," I say.**

"When did this 'Tris' thing start, then?" My father asks.

"Soon," I tell him.

 **"Do you know where we're going?" She has to shout over the wind, which blows harder through the open doors by the second. The train is picking up speed. I sit down. It will be easier to keep my balance if I'm low to the ground. She raises an eyebrow at me.**

 **"A fast train means wind," I say. "Wind means falling out. Get down."**

"Clever," Will, Caleb and Eric all say in unison, before glaring at each other.

"Once an erudite, always an erudite..." Lynn says, causing Eric's and Will's glare to turn to her. She quickly looks away from them — her shoes suddenly becoming a lot more interesting.

 **Christina sits next to me, inching back to lean against the wall.**

 **"I guess we're going to Dauntless headquarters," I say, "but I don't know where that is."**

 **"Does anyone?" She shakes her head, grinning. "It's like they just popped out of a hole in the ground or something."**

All the Dauntless look at each other, snickering, while everyone else just looks confused.

 **Then the wind rushes through the car, and the other faction transfers, hit with bursts of air, fall on top of one another. I watch Christina laugh without hearing her and manage a smile.**

 **Over my left shoulder, orange light from the setting sun reflects off the glass buildings, and I can faintly see the rows of gray houses that used to be my home.**

 **It's Caleb's turn to make dinner tonight. Who will take his place—my mother or my father? And when they clear out his room, what will they discover? I imagine books jammed between the dresser and the wall, books under his mattress. The Erudite thirst for knowledge filling all the hidden places in his room. Did he always know that he would choose Erudite? And if he did, how did I not notice?**

I don't need to look up to know that my family are avoiding everybody gazes and looking guilty. I don't need to look, and I don't want to look.

 **What a good actor he was. The thought makes me sick to my stomach, because even though I left them too, at least I was no good at pretending. At least they all knew that I wasn't selfless.**

I won't look.

 **I close my eyes and picture my mother and father sitting at the dinner table in silence. Is it a lingering hint of selflessness that makes my throat tighten at the thought of them, or is it selfishness, because I know I will never be their daughter again?**

I have to look — and I was right, they are all looking shifty and awkward. I shouldn't have looked — now I feel guilty again. I grab tobias's hand and lower my gaze.

 **"They're jumping off!"**

"What?" My father gasps. "It doesn't stop!?"

Everyone laughs, shaking their heads.

 **I lift my head. My neck aches. I have been curled up with my back against the wall for at least a half hour, listening to the roaring wind and watching the city smear past us. I sit forward. The train has slowed down in the past few minutes, and I see that the boy who shouted is right: The Dauntless in the cars ahead of us are jumping out as the train passes a rooftop. The tracks are seven stories up.**

"God, Bea — Tris!" My father exclaims. "Doesn't anyone fall?"

"Sometimes," I say, remembering...

 **The idea of leaping out of a moving train onto a rooftop, knowing there is a gap between the edge of the roof and the edge of the track, makes me want to throw up. I push myself up and stumble to the opposite side of the car, where the other faction transfers stand in a line.**

 **"We have to jump off too, then," a Candor girl says. She has a large nose and crooked teeth.**

 **"Great," a Candor boy replies, "because that makes perfect sense, Molly. Leap off a train onto a roof."**

 **"This is kind of what we signed up for, Peter," the girl points out.**

Peter grins, obviously pleased that he is in the story finally.

 **"Well, I'm not doing it," says an Amity boy behind me. He has olive skin and wears a brown shirt—he is the only transfer from Amity. His cheeks shine with tears.**

 **"You've got to," Christina says, "or you fail. Come on, it'll be all right."**

 **"No, it won't! I'd rather be factionless than dead!" The Amity boy shakes his head. He sounds panicky. He keeps shaking his head and staring at the rooftop, which is getting closer by the second.**

 **I don't agree with him. I would rather be dead than empty, like the factionless.**

 **"You can't force him," I say, glancing at Christina. Her brown eyes are wide, and she presses her lips together so hard they change color. She offers me her hand.**

 **"Here," she says. I raise an eyebrow at her hand, about to say that I don't need help, but she adds, "I just…can't do it unless someone drags me."**

"Really, Candor?" Eric snarls, eyebrows raised.

"Shut it," Christina snaps back.

"Watch it, Candor. Just because I can't touch you in here, doesn't mean I can't back at dauntless!"

Christina glares, but smartly stops talking.

 **I take her hand and we stand at the edge of the car. As it passes the roof, I count, "One…two…three!"**

 **On three, we launch off the train car. A weightless moment, and then my feet slam into solid ground and pain prickles through my shins. The jarring landing sends me sprawling on the rooftop, gravel under my cheek. I release Christina's hand. She's laughing.**

 **"That was fun," she says**.

"Are you kidding?" Will shouts. "I was freaking terrified!"

"That's because you're a baby, so I need to look after you," Christina says, snuggling up next to will. Peter makes vomiting noises and then keeps reading — still in that low, threatening voice.

 **Christina will fit in with Dauntless thrill seekers. I brush grains of rock from my cheek. All the initiates except the Amity boy made it onto the roof, with varying levels of success. The Candor girl with crooked teeth, Molly, holds her ankle, wincing, and Peter, the Candor boy with shiny hair, grins proudly—he must have landed on his feet.**

He does that same grin now. That grin that makes me want to hit him.

 **Then I hear a wail. I turn my head, searching for the source of the sound. A Dauntless girl stands at the edge of the roof, staring at the ground below, screaming. Behind her a Dauntless boy holds her at the waist to keep her from falling off.**

"Oh, no..." I hear somebody mutter.

 **"Rita," he says. "Rita, calm down. Rita—"**

 **I stand and look over the edge. There is a body on the pavement below us; a girl, her arms and legs bent at awkward angles, her hair spread in a fan around her head. My stomach sinks and I stare at the railroad tracks. Not everyone made it. And even the Dauntless aren't safe.**

Nobody speaks. Everyone remembers that day.

 **Rita sinks to her knees, sobbing. I turn away. The longer I watch her, the more likely I am to cry, and I can't cry in front of these people.**

 **I tell myself, as sternly as possible, that is how things work here. We do dangerous things and people die. People die, and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving initiation.**

"Beatrice!" Caleb cries. I don't answer, not even to correct my name.

 **I'm no longer sure that I will survive initiation.**

A few people laugh, remembering my score. I was first. I beat everybody.

 **I tell myself I will count to three, and when I'm done, I will move on. One. I picture the girl's body on the pavement, and a shudder goes through me. Two. I hear Rita's sobs and the murmured reassurance of the boy behind her. Three.**

 **My lips pursed, I walk away from Rita and the roof's edge.**

 **My elbow stings. I pull my sleeve up to examine it, my hand shaking. Some of the skin is peeling off, but it isn't bleeding.**

 **"Ooh. Scandalous! A Stiff's flashing some skin!"**

 **I lift my head. "Stiff" is slang for Abnegation, and I'm the only one here. Peter points at me, smirking. I hear laughter. My cheeks heat up, and I let my sleeve fall.**

Christina stands, just like I did earlier, but Will pulls her back, just like Tobias did. I wish he hadn't. I would have loved to wrap my hands around that selfish little throat of his.

 **"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!" shouts a man at the other end of the roof. He is older than the others, with deep creases in his dark skin and gray hair at his temples, and he stands on the ledge like it's a sidewalk. Like someone didn't just fall to her death from it. "Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."**

All the Abnegation — excluding my mother — gasp.

 **"You want us to jump off a ledge?" asks an Erudite girl. She is a few inches taller than I am, with mousy brown hair and big lips. Her mouth hangs open.**

 **I don't know why it shocks her.**

 **"Yes," Max says. He looks amused.**

 **"Is there water at the bottom or something?"**

 **"Who knows?" He raises his eyebrows.**

"What's down there?" Marcus asks. I just shrug. I don't want to talk to that excuse for a human being. Not ever.

"Who knows...?" Eric says, mimiking the reply max gave that day.

 **The crowd in front of the initiates splits in half, making a wide path for us. I look around. No one looks eager to leap off the building—their eyes are everywhere but on Max. Some of them nurse minor wounds or brush gravel from their clothes. I glance at Peter. He is picking at one of his cuticles. Trying to act casual.**

"'Trying' being the key word here," Lynn says pointedly. "You don't fool anyone."

 **I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave. I walk toward the ledge and hear snickers behind me.**

 **Max steps aside, leaving my way clear. I walk up to the edge and look down. Wind whips through my clothes, making the fabric snap. The building I'm on forms one side of a square with three other buildings. In the center of the square is a huge hole in the concrete. I can't see what's at the bottom of it.**

"She wouldn't," My father says, so sure of himself.

"She would," reply many people at the same time.

 **This is a scare tactic. I will land safely at the bottom. That knowledge is the only thing that helps me step onto the ledge. My teeth chatter. I can't back down now. Not with all the people betting I'll fail behind me. My hands fumble along the collar of my shirt and find the button that secures it shut. After a few tries, I undo the hooks from collar to hem, and pull it off my shoulders.**

 **Beneath it, I wear a gray T-shirt. It is tighter than any other clothes I own, and no one has ever seen me in it before. I ball up my outer shirt and look over my shoulder, at Peter. I throw the ball of fabric at him as hard as I can, my jaw clenched. It hits him in the chest. He stares at me. I hear catcalls and shouts behind me.**

 **I look at the hole again. Goose bumps rise on my pale arms, and my stomach lurches. If I don't do it now, I won't be able to do it at all. I swallow hard.**

 **I don't think. I just bend my knees and jump.**

"Oh my..." Marcus breathed, even though he knows I will be okay.

 **The air howls in my ears as the ground surges toward me, growing and expanding, or I surge toward the ground, my heart pounding so fast it hurts, every muscle in my body tensing as the falling sensation drags at my stomach. The hole surrounds me and I drop into darkness.**

 **I hit something hard. It gives way beneath me and cradles my body. The impact knocks the wind out of me and I wheeze, struggling to breathe again. My arms and legs sting.**

 **A net. There is a net at the bottom of the hole. I look up at the building and laugh, half relieved and half hysterical. My body shakes and I cover my face with my hands. I just jumped off a roof.**

Everybody in the room lets out a breath that they didn't even know they were holding. Even those who knew the outcome visibly relaxed.

 **I have to stand on solid ground again. I see a few hands stretching out to me at the edge of the net, so I grab the first one I can reach and pull myself across. I roll off, and I would have fallen face-first onto a wood floor if he had not caught me.**

"Who, who?" Christina squeaks.

"Wait and see!" I reply. She huffs, but goes quiet.

 **"He" is the young man attached to the hand I grabbed. He has a spare upper lip and a full lower lip. His eyes are so deep-set that his eyelashes touch the skin under his eyebrows, and they are dark blue, a dreaming, sleeping, waiting color.**

"Ooooh," Christina sings. "Who is this... sexy hunk you're describing? And may I just say — how come he got a really long description and I got 'tall, dark skin and short hair!?'"

"Hey, I said you were pretty!" I defend.

 **His hands grip my arms, but he releases me a moment after I stand upright again.** **"Thank you," I say.** **We stand on a platform ten feet above the ground. Around us is an open cavern.** **"Can't believe it," a voice says from behind him. It belongs to a dark-haired girl with three silver rings through her right eyebrow. She smirks at me. "A Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of."** **"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," he says. His voice is deep, and it rumbles. "What's your name?"**

"Oooh, it rumbles!" Christina sings again. "Such a sexy hunk! Names, names, Tris!"

"Wait and see!"

I can see Tobias smirking out of the corner of my eye.

 **"Um…" I don't know why I hesitate. But "Beatrice" just doesn't sound right anymore.**

 **"Think about it," he says, a faint smile curling his lips. "You don't get to pick again."**

 **A new place, a new name. I can be remade here.**

 **"Tris," I say firmly.**

"So that's when it began!" Caleb realizes.

 **"Tris," Lauren repeats, grinning. "Make the announcement, Four."**

"Eew eew eew eew!" Christina suddenly screams, sounding disgusted.

"What?" Will says, looking around him, attempting to find the source of her distress.

"I called Four a sexy hunk! Twice!" Everybody bursts into laughter.

"Are you saying I'm not?" Four says in mock outrage, but I can tell he is suppressing laughter.

"No, I — um — no!" Christina stutters, flustered.

"Uh, hello? Reading here!" peter interrupts.

 **The boy—Four—looks over his shoulder and shouts, "First jumper—Tris!"**

"First jumper, Tris!" Zeke and Uriah both yell at the same time as Peter reads the sentence. The brothers burst out laughing.

 **A crowd materializes from the darkness as my eyes adjust. They cheer and pump their fists, and then another person drops into the net. Her screams follow her down. Christina. Everyone laughs, but they follow their laughter with more cheering.**

 **Four sets his hand on my back and says, "Welcome to Dauntless."**

"What other crazy things do you do during initiation?" Caleb asks, showing his Erudite curiosity.

"Well, I zip lined off of a 100 story building, and climbed up a Ferris wheel," I tell him.

"You mean that Ferris wheel that you can see from the west wing at school? But that must be hundreds of feet high!"

"Let me read," Four says, taking the book from Peter.


	10. Chapter 10

It is a relief to hear somebody reading normally - not in a monotone or anything - and it is _especially_ good that it happens to be Tobias. Though it sounds odd to speak of himself in third person - and from the point of view of a teenage girl...

 **When all the initiates stand on solid ground again, Lauren and Four lead us down a narrow tunnel. The walls are made of stone, and the ceiling slopes, so I feel like I am descending deep into the heart of the earth. The tunnel is lit at long intervals, so in the dark space between each dim lamp, I fear that I am lost until a shoulder bumps mine. In the circles of light I am safe again.**

"How did you survive initiation when you were scared whenever you weren't lit up by lights?" Eric sighs. Everyone ignores him. Nobody seems to even want to acknowledge that he is even there since he tried to kill me. The same goes for Peter.

 **The Erudite boy in front of me stops abruptly, and I smack into him, hitting my nose on his shoulder. I stumble back and rub my nose as I recover my senses. The whole crowd has stopped, and our three leaders stand in front of us, arms folded.**

 **"This is where we divide," Lauren says. "The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place."**

 **She smiles and beckons toward the Dauntless-born initiates. They break away from the group and dissolve into the shadows. I watch the last heel pass out of the light and look at those of us who are left. Most of the initiates were from Dauntless, so only nine people remain. Of those, I am the only Abnegation transfer, and there are no Amity transfers. The rest are from Erudite and, surprisingly, Candor. It must require bravery to be honest all the time. I wouldn't know.**

 **Four addresses us next. "Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," he says. "My name is Four."**

 **Christina asks, "Four? Like the number?"**

"Christina!" Lynn exclaims.

 **"Yes," Four says. "Is there a problem?"**

 **"No."**

 **"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It—"**

 **Christina snickers. "The Pit? Clever name."**

"Jesus, Chrissy!" Will cries. "Didn't he... break you or something?!"

"I'm sitting right here!" Four says, before continuing the book. I look over to Marcus, and he seems curious to find out exactly how his son lives, what his reputation is. Though it seems quite clear about the latter, considering the comments all of these people are making.

Tobias is using the exact same voice he did the day it happened, which is a little... terrifying... I shudder...

 **Four walks up to Christina and leans his face close to hers. His eyes narrow, and for a second he just stares at her.**

 **"What's your name?" he asks quietly.**

 **"Christina," she squeaks.**

 **"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," he hisses. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"**

"Ooooooh!" Everyone sings. "Scary Four has emerged!"

"Had he ever left?" Zeke sniggers. Tobias just keeps reading the book, leaving no room for further comment. He obviously doesn't like the attention being on him.

 **She nods.**

 **Four starts toward the shadow at the end of the tunnel. The crowd of initiates moves on in silence.**

 **"What a jerk," she mumbles.**

 **"I guess he doesn't like to be laughed at," I reply.**

 **It would probably be wise to be careful around Four, I realize. He seemed placid to me on the platform, but something about that stillness makes me wary now.**

He looks at me, eyebrows raised. "What?" I say.

" _Placid_?" He replies.

I gesture for him to read, embarrassed.

 **Four pushes a set of double doors open, and we walk into the place he called "the Pit."**

 **"Oh," whispers Christina. "I get it."**

 **"Pit" is the best word for it. It is an underground cavern so huge I can't see the other end of it from where I stand, at the bottom. Uneven rock walls rise several stories above my head. Built into the stone walls are places for food, clothing, supplies, leisure activities. Narrow paths and steps carved from rock connect them. There are no barriers to keep people from falling over the side.**

My father tuts, obviously not pleased about the lack of safety precautions the dauntless have. Or rather _don't_ have.

 **A slant of orange light stretches across one of the rock walls. Forming the roof of the Pit are panes of glass and, above them, a building that lets in sunlight. It must have looked like just another city building when we passed it on the train.**

"Clever," Caleb comments, looking thoughtful.

 **Blue lanterns dangle at random intervals above the stone paths, similar to the ones that lit the Choosing room. They grow brighter as the sunlight dies.**

 **People are everywhere, all dressed in black, all shouting and talking, expressive, gesturing. I don't see any elderly people in the crowd. Are there any old Dauntless? Do they not last that long, or are they just sent away when they can't jump off moving trains anymore?**

"Yes, can somebody explain that to me?" Will asks.

It is Eric who answers him, in a low, unfeeling voice. "Once you turn seventy, you either ask for a serum which knocks you out and kills you, you become factionless, or you jump into the chasm."

Everyone stares at him. "Really?" Somebody says, but i am too surprised to identify the voice. "Once you're old, you either live without purpose, or commit suiside

Tobias hurriedly starts reading again, which tells me that he knew too, and just decided not to share. We will have words...

 **A group of children run down a narrow path with no railing, so fast my heart pounds, and I want to scream at them to slow down before they get hurt. A memory of the orderly Abnegation streets appears in my mind: a line of people on the right passing a line of people on the left, small smiles and inclined heads and silence. My stomach squeezes. But there is something wonderful about Dauntless chaos.**

A cheer erupts from the Dauntless. I laugh.

 **"If you follow me," says Four, "I'll show you the chasm."**

 **He waves us forward. Four's appearance seems tame from the front, by Dauntless standards, but when he turns around, I see a tattoo peeking out from the collar of his T-shirt.**

"Show us your tattoo, Four!" Marlene yells.

"Are you asking me to undress, Marlene?" Tobias smirks.

"Only... partially...?" She tries - in vain, might I add.

Deja-vu. I remember this exact conversation from when he showed me his tattoos. Only I had had a lot more success. I can't help but feel a little pleased that he only let me see them.

Tobias rolls his eyes.

 **He leads us to the right side of the Pit, which is conspicuously dark. I squint and see that the floor I stand on now ends at an iron barrier. As we approach the railing, I hear a roar—water, fast-moving water, crashing against rocks.**

 **I look over the side. The floor drops off at a sharp angle, and several stories below us is a river. Gushing water strikes the wall beneath me and sprays upward. To my left, the water is calmer, but to my right, it is white, battling with rock.**

My father, caleb and marcus gasp, and I realize that they are the only ones out of the fourteen that are here that haven't seen the inside of Dauntless.

 **"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Four shouts. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned."**

 **"This is incredible," says Christina, as we all move away from the railing.**

 **"Incredible is the word," I say, nodding.**

 **Four leads the group of initiates across the Pit toward a gaping hole in the wall. The room beyond is well-lit enough that I can see where we're going: a dining hall full of people and clattering silverware. When we walk in, the Dauntless inside stand. They applaud. They stamp their feet. They shout. The noise surrounds me and fills me. Christina smiles, and a second later, so do I.**

 **We look for empty seats. Christina and I discover a mostly empty table at the side of the room, and I find myself sitting between her and Four.**

"Its almost like it was fate that brought you together..." Marlene says dreamily. Tobias snorts.

 **In the center of the table is a platter of food I don't recognize: circular pieces of meat wedged between round bread slices. I pinch one between my fingers, unsure what to make of it.**

"You'd never seen a hamburger!?" Uriah squeaks.

I shake my head.

 **Four nudges me with his elbow.**

 **"It's beef," he says. "Put this on it." He passes me a small bowl full of red sauce.**

"How considerate," my mother tells him, and he smiles at her.

 **"You've never had a hamburger before?" asks Christina, her eyes wide.**

 **"No," I say. "Is that what it's called?"**

 **"Stiffs eat plain food," Four says, nodding at Christina.**

 **"Why?" she asks.**

 **I shrug. "Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary."**

 **She smirks. "No wonder you left."**

 **"Yeah," I say, rolling my eyes. "It was just because of the food."**

"Still sarcastic, are we then, Tris?" Caleb laughs. He remembered my name.

 **The corner of Four's mouth twitches.**

 **The doors to the cafeteria open, and a hush falls over the room. I look over my shoulder. A young man walks in, and it is quiet enough that I can hear his footsteps. His face is pierced in so many places I lose count, and his hair is long, dark, and greasy. But that isn't what makes him look menacing. It is the coldness of his eyes as they sweep across the room.**

Eric sits up straighter and smirks, obviously unfazed by his unpleasant introduction. he seems to actually be proud of it...

 **"Who's that?" hisses Christina.**

 **"His name is Eric," says Four. "He's a Dauntless leader."**

 **"Seriously? But he's so young."**

 **Four gives her a grave look. "Age doesn't matter here."**

"What does?" Marcus asks, but nobody answers him.

 **I can tell she's about to ask what I want to ask: Then what does matter? But Eric's eyes stop scanning the room, and he starts toward a table. He starts toward our table and drops into the seat next to Four. He offers no greeting, so neither do we.**

 **"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks, nodding to Christina and me.**

 **Four says, "This is Tris and Christina."**

 **"Ooh, a Stiff," says Eric, smirking at me. His smile pulls at the piercings in his lips, making the holes they occupy wider, and I wince. "We'll see how long you last."**

Everyone laughs at Eric - he never expected the stiff to come first. You shouldn't underestimate someone. Eric scowls.

 **I mean to say something—to assure him that I will last, maybe—but words fail me. I don't understand why, but I don't want Eric to look at me any longer than he already has. I don't want him to look at me ever again.**

The smirk is back. And he's staring at me. I seem to be a lot more confident now, so I stare back, until he looks away. I feel triumphant.

 **He taps his fingers against the table. His knuckles are scabbed over, right where they would split if he punched something too hard.**

 **"What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks.**

 **Four lifts a shoulder. "Nothing, really," he says.**

 **Are they friends? My eyes flick between Eric and Four. Everything Eric did—sitting here, asking about Four—suggests that they are, but the way Four sits, tense as pulled wire, suggests they are something else. Rivals, maybe, but how could that be, if Eric is a leader and Four is not?**

"Very smart," Eric tells me.

 **"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up," Eric says. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."**

 **Four looks at Eric for a few seconds before saying, "Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold."**

 **"So he wants to give you a job."**

 **The rings in Eric's eyebrow catch the light. Maybe Eric perceives Four as a potential threat to his position. My father says that those who want power and get it live in terror of losing it. That's why we have to give power to those who do not want it.**

Eric is scowling _again._

 **"So it would seem," Four says.**

 **"And you aren't interested."**

 **"I haven't been interested for two years."**

 **"Well," says Eric. "Let's hope he gets the point, then."**

 **He claps Four on the shoulder, a little too hard, and gets up. When he walks away, I slouch immediately. I had not realized that I was so tense.**

 **"Are you two…friends?" I say, unable to contain my curiosity.**

 **"We were in the same initiate class," he says. "He transferred from Erudite."**

"Avoiding the question," Caleb says pointedly to Tobias.

"Make a deduction," Tobias says. "Judge from my earlier actions to _him_ when he tried to hurt Tris, are we friends?"

"Uh, no." Caleb sighs.

 **All thoughts of being careful around Four leave me. "Were you a transfer too?"**

 **"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," he says coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?"**

"How did you get her?" Uriah asks, shaking his head. Everyone laughs.

 **"It must be because you're so approachable," I say flatly. "You know. Like a bed of nails."**

"Beatrice!" Marcus exclaims. I ignore him - still unwilling to even acknowledge him. Everyone else just laughs, slightly shocked that anyone would stand up to the all-powerful, terrifying Four.

 **He stares at me, and I don't look away. He isn't a dog, but the same rules apply. Looking away is submissive. Looking him in the eye is a challenge. It's my choice.**

"You compared Four to a dog?" Uriah chortles. Zeke is shaking in silent giggles.

"Oh, shut up!" I say. Four stares at me, smiling, one eyebrow raised. "Read, Four!" I bark, embarrassed.

 **Heat rushes into my cheeks. What will happen when this tension breaks?**

 **But he just says, "Careful, Tris."**

 **My stomach drops like I just swallowed a stone. A Dauntless member at another table calls out Four's name, and I turn to Christina. She raises both eyebrows.**

 **"What?" I ask.**

 **"I'm developing a theory."**

 **"And it is?"**

 **She picks up her hamburger, grins, and says, "That you have a death wish."**

"You do!" Everyone says at once.

"I do _not!"_ I try, but nobody listens, and Tobias reads some more.

 **After dinner, Four disappears without a word. Eric leads us down a series of hallways without telling us where we're going. I don't know why a Dauntless leader would be responsible for a group of initiates, but maybe it is just for tonight.**

"I was intrigued. The Abnegation first jumper. I wanted to see how you'd do," Eric shrugs.

"Did I satisfy your Erudite curiosity then? Or was I an utter disappointment?" I ask, eyebrows raised, knowing that he would probably scowl and mutter a lot, given my score.

"No, no. You were great," Eric says, a slight smile on his lips.

huh? What did that mean? Is he mocking me somehow? Threatening me? Is he being sarcastic? He can't just be being nice - that would be even scarier than a threat...

 **At the end of each hallway is a blue lamp, but between them it's dark, and I have to be careful not to stumble over uneven ground. Christina walks beside me in silence. No one told us to be quiet, but none of us speak.**

 **Eric stops in front of a wooden door and folds his arms. We gather around him.**

 **"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric," he says. "I am one of five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training."**

 **The thought makes me nauseous. The idea that a Dauntless leader will oversee our initiation is bad enough, but the fact that it's Eric makes it seem even worse.**

He sniggers, his earlier smile replaced by a smirk.

 **"Some ground rules," he says. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation."**

 **The phrase "do whatever you like" sticks in my mind. At home, I could never do what I wanted, not even for an evening. I had to think of other people's needs first. I don't even know what I like to do.**

"What _do_ you like to do, Tris?" Marlene asks me.

This _should_ be an easy question... "Well... I like to spend time with my friends, and I enjoy training... and the zip line is really fun. I loved paintball!"

She nods.

 **"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric adds. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far."**

"But you started with twelve..." My father says thoughtfully, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _Shut up,_ I think to myself, knowing the answer.

 **"But we started with twelve," protests Christina. I close my eyes and wait for the reprimand. She needs to learn to stay quiet.**

 **"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound," says Eric, picking at his cuticles. He shrugs.**

My father's face goes from confusion to realisation to sorrow to anger - all in a matter of seconds. His anger is directed at Eric, but obviously Tobias picks up on it too, because he reads a little faster, not leaving any room for comments.

 **"Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already. So I expect—"**

 **"Rankings?" asks the mousy-haired Erudite girl to my right. "Why are we ranked?"**

 **Eric smiles, and in the blue light, his smile looks wicked, like it was cut into his face with a knife.**

 **"Your ranking serves two purposes," he says. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."**

 **My stomach tightens. I know by looking at his smile, like I knew the second I entered the aptitude test room, that something bad is about to happen.**

 **"The second purpose," he says, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."**

" _What!?"_ My whole family - and marcus exclaim. Even my mother looks shocked. I long for the Dauntless that she remembers. The Dauntless that actually believed in their manifesto. " We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that lets one person stand up for another". I wish it was still the case now, but with Max and Eric in control...

"You cant just kick people out for no reason!" Marcus exclaims.

"Its not for no reason, it's because they weren't good enough. Dauntless want only the best, and if your kid fails, that's it. Get over it. Read, Four," Eris states in an authoritative tone. Nobody argues. it would be pointless anyway.

 **Pain stabs my stomach. We all stand still as statues. And then Christina says, "What?"**

 **"There are eleven Dauntless-borns, and nine of you," Eric continues. "Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."**

 **That means that even if we make it through each stage of initiation, six initiates will not be members. I see Christina look at me from the corner of my eye, but I can't look back at her. My eyes are fixed on Eric and will not move.**

 **My odds, as the smallest initiate, as the only Abnegation transfer, are not good.**

 **"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter says.**

 **"You leave the Dauntless compound," says Eric indifferently, "and live factionless."**

Everyone that is not from dauntless all scowl at Eric.

 **The mousy-haired girl clamps her hand over her mouth and stifles a sob. I remember the factionless man with the gray teeth, snatching the bag of apples from my hands. His dull, staring eyes. But instead of crying, like the Erudite girl, I feel colder. Harder.**

 **I will be a member. I will.**

 **"But that's…not fair!" the broad-shouldered Candor girl, Molly, says. Even though she sounds angry, she looks terrified. "If we had known—"**

 **"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward."**

The scowls intensify - if that is even possible. Eric doesn't meet anyone's eye. Its almost as if he is ashamed...

No, I cant think like that. Eric is an evil, sadistic ass who enjoys other peoples pain. I need to remember that.

 **Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open.**

 **"You chose us," he says. "Now we have to choose you."**

"Intense," Caleb says.

 **I lie in bed and listen to nine people breathing.**

 **I have never slept in the same room as a boy before, but here I have no other option, unless I want to sleep in the hallway. Everyone else changed into the clothes the Dauntless provided for us, but I sleep in my Abnegation clothes, which still smell like soap and fresh air, like home.**

 **I used to have my own room. I could see the front lawn from the window, and beyond it, the foggy skyline. I am used to sleeping in silence.**

 **Heat swells behind my eyes as I think of home, and when I blink, a tear slips out. I cover my mouth to stifle a sob.**

My mother looks at me, her face full of sympathy. I feel like I am going to cry again, so I snuggle up closer to Tobias.

 **I can't cry, not here. I have to calm down.**

 **It will be all right here. I can look at my reflection whenever I want. I can befriend Christina, and cut my hair short, and let other people clean up their own messes.**

 **My hands shake and the tears come faster now, blurring my vision.**

 **It doesn't matter that the next time I see my parents, on Visiting Day, they will barely recognize me—if they come at all. It doesn't matter that I ache at even a split-second memory of their faces. Even Caleb's, despite how much his secrets hurt me. I match my inhales to the inhales of the other initiates, and my exhales to their exhales. It doesn't matter.**

 **A strangled sound interrupts the breathing, followed by a heavy sob. Bed springs squeal as a large body turns, and a pillow muffles the sobs, but not enough. They come from the bunk next to mine—they belong to a Candor boy, Al, the largest and broadest of all the initiates. He is the last person I expected to break down.**

Al. My Friend.

My kidnapper.

This stirs up so many unhappy memories. So many what-if's...

 **His feet are just inches from my head. I should comfort him—I should want to comfort him, because I was raised that way. Instead I feel disgust. Someone who looks so strong shouldn't act so weak. Why can't he just keep his crying quiet like the rest of us?**

"Tris!" Mother cries, sympathy turning from me to Al. I'm too depressed to answer her properly, so I don't.

 **I swallow hard.**

I swallow hard.

 **If my mother knew what I was thinking, I know what look she would give me. The corners of her mouth turned down. Her eyebrows set low over her eyes—not scowling, almost tired. I drag the heel of my hand over my cheeks.**

The same expression is on her face now, so I look away. My shoes have suddenly become _so_ interesting...

 **Al sobs again. I almost feel the sound grate in my own throat. He is just inches away from me—I should touch him.**

 **No. I put my hand down and roll onto my side, facing the wall. No one has to know that I don't want to help him. I can keep that secret buried. My eyes shut and I feel the pull of sleep, but every time I come close, I hear Al again.**

 **Maybe my problem isn't that I can't go home. I will miss my mother and father and Caleb and evening firelight and the clack of my mother's knitting needles, but that is not the only reason for this hollow feeling in my stomach.**

 **My problem might be that even if I did go home, I wouldn't belong there, among people who give without thinking and care without trying.**

 **The thought makes me grit my teeth. I gather the pillow around my ears to block out Al's crying, and fall asleep with a circle of moisture pressed to my cheek.**

"Your turn," Tobias tells me. I nod.


	11. Chapter 11

It feels weird reading about myself to others. Like i'm reading my diary out for the world to hear, which I guess I kind of am, in a way, only I didn't write it.

 **"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four presses a gun into my palm without looking at me and keeps walking. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."**

"It would have been nice to get _some_ training in that area," I said.

 **I shouldn't be surprised that the Dauntless expect us to hit the ground running, but I anticipated more than six hours of rest before the running began. My body is still heavy from sleep.**

"The average human body needs at least eight hours of sleep to function properly," Caleb announces.

"Smart-arse," Lynn smirks.

"Thanks," Caleb seems to take that as a great compliment.

 **"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."**

 **I stare at the weapon in my hand. Never in my life did I expect to hold a gun, let alone fire one. It feels dangerous to me, as if just by touching it, I could hurt someone.**

 **"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," says Four. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."**

 **"But what…" Peter yawns through his words. "What does firing a gun have to do with…bravery?"**

 **Four flips the gun in his hand, presses the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. Peter freezes with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth.**

"Jesus!" Somebody - I think it was Uriah - shouts.

Peter is pouting, staring daggers at Tobias.

 **"Wake. Up," Four snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."**

There is laughter from everyone apart from the boy in question.

" _Burned!"_ Zeke chortles.

 **He lowers the gun. Once the immediate threat is gone, Peter's green eyes harden. I'm surprised he can stop himself from responding, after speaking his mind all his life in Candor, but he does, his cheeks red.**

 **"And to answer your question…you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." Four stops walking at the end of the row and turns on his heel. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me."**

 **He faces the wall with the targets on it—one square of plywood with three red circles on it for each of us. He stands with his feet apart, holds the gun in both hands, and fires. The bang is so loud it hurts my ears. I crane my neck to look at the target. The bullet went through the middle circle.**

"Wow," Caleb says.

 **I turn to my own target. My family would never approve of me firing a gun. They would say that guns are used for self-defense, if not violence, and therefore they are self-serving.**

"In abnegation, honey. It is good that you know all of our rules and think of us, but you need to stop assuming we would be ashamed of you! New faction, new rules, and we respect that," mt mother says. For some reason, I feel tears prick my eyes.

 **I push my family from my mind, set my feet shoulder-width apart, and delicately wrap both hands around the handle of the gun. It's heavy and hard to lift away from my body, but I want it to be as far from my face as possible. I squeeze the trigger, hesitantly at first and then harder, cringing away from the gun. The sound hurts my ears and the recoil sends my hands back, toward my nose. I stumble, pressing my hand to the wall behind me for balance. I don't know where my bullet went, but I know it's not near the target.**

"Just don't shoot anybody, and you'll be fine!" Uriah tells Book Me.

"You know she cant hear you," Zeke laughs at his brother.

"I don't care, I'll talk to her if I want to!"

We all laugh at him.

 **I fire again and again and again, and none of the bullets come close.**

"You should have hit it at least once by now, statistically speaking," Caleb says.

"I know! I told her that!" Will exclaims.

 **"Statistically speaking," the Erudite boy next to me—his name is Will—says, grinning at me, "you should have hit the target at least once by now, even by accident."**

Caleb and Will laugh.

 **He is blond, with shaggy hair and a crease between his eyebrows.**

"Ooh, I sound sexy!" He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You are," Christina says quietly, and kisses him.

"Eew! Get a room!" Zeke yells, and Lynn throws a cushion at them.

I giggle, then keep reading. I dont have a problem with public affection, like I used to.

 **"Is that so," I say without inflection.**

 **"Yeah," he says. "I think you're actually defying nature."**

"Thats Tris, defying nature!" Uriah smiles at me. I grin back.

 **I grit my teeth and turn toward the target, resolving to at least stand still. If I can't master the first task they give us, how will I ever make it through stage one?**

"Shooting is actually the hardest task in stage one to accomplish," Eric says to me.

 **I squeeze the trigger, hard, and this time I'm ready for the recoil. It makes my hands jump back, but my feet stay planted. A bullet hole appears at the edge of the target, and I raise an eyebrow at Will.**

 **"So you see, I'm right. The stats don't lie," he says.**

 **I smile a little.**

"Aww, BFF's already!" Will says in a girly voice.

 **It takes me five rounds to hit the middle of the target, and when I do, a rush of energy goes through me. I am awake, my eyes wide open, my hands warm. I lower the gun. There is power in controlling something that can do so much damage—in controlling something, period.**

 **Maybe I do belong here.**

"Yeah! Finally, she gets it!" Lynn throws her arms up in the air. People from all over the room cheer. Even Eric is smiling...

Does that mean he agrees that I belong at Dauntless?

"Read Tris!" someone shouts, breaking me from my confusing thoughts.

 **By the time we break for lunch, my arms throb from holding up the gun and my fingers are hard to straighten. I massage them on my way to the dining hall. Christina invites Al to sit with us. Every time I look at him, I hear his sobs again, so I try not to look at him.**

 **I move my peas around with my fork, and my thoughts drift back to the aptitude tests. When Tori warned me that being Divergent was dangerous, I felt like it was branded on my face, and if I so much as turned the wrong way, someone would see it. So far it hasn't been a problem, but that doesn't make me feel safe. What if I let my guard down and something terrible happens?**

 **"Oh, come on. You don't remember me?" Christina asks Al as she makes a sandwich. "We were in Math together just a few days ago. And I am not a quiet person."**

"No you are not," Will laughs as Christina halfheartedly hits him.

 **"I slept through Math most of the time," Al replies. "It was first hour!"**

sad laughter fills the room, remembering Al.

 **What if the danger doesn't come soon—what if it strikes years from now and I never see it coming?**

 **"Tris," says Christina. She snaps her fingers in front of my face. "You in there?"**

 **"What? What is it?"**

 **"I asked if you remember ever taking a class with me," she says. "I mean, no offense, but I probably wouldn't remember if you did. All the Abnegation looked the same to me. I mean, they still do, but now you're not one of them."**

 **I stare at her. As if I need her to remind me.**

 **"Sorry, am I being rude?" she asks. "I'm used to just saying whatever is on my mind. Mom used to say that politeness is deception in pretty packaging."**

"Not always," My father says.

 **"I think that's why our factions don't usually associate with each other," I say, with a short laugh. Candor and Abnegation don't hate each other the way Erudite and Abnegation do, but they avoid each other. Candor's real problem is with Amity. Those who seek peace above all else, they say, will always deceive to keep the water calm.**

"True," Marlene says.

 **"Can I sit here?" says Will, tapping the table with his finger.**

 **"What, you don't want to hang out with your Erudite buddies?" says Christina.**

 **"They aren't my buddies," says Will, setting his plate down. "Just because we were in the same faction doesn't mean we get along. Plus, Edward and Myra are dating, and I would rather not be the third wheel."**

 **Edward and Myra, the other Erudite transfers, sit two tables away, so close they bump elbows as they cut their food. Myra pauses to kiss Edward. I watch them carefully. I've only seen a few kisses in my life.**

 **Edward turns his head and presses his lips to Myra's. Air hisses between my teeth, and I look away. Part of me waits for them to be scolded. Another part wonders, with a touch of desperation, what it would feel like to have someone's lips against mine.**

"Like this," Tobias says, before cupping my face and kissing me, but I don't get a chance to enjoy it before a pillow hits our heads.

We look up just in time to see another one go flying into Christina and Will. I laugh.

 **"Do they have to be so public?" I say.**

 **"She just kissed him." Al frowns at me. When he frowns, his thick eyebrows touch his eyelashes. "It's not like they're stripping naked."**

 **"A kiss is not something you do in public."**

 **Al, Will, and Christina all give me the same knowing smile.**

 **"What?" I say.**

 **"Your Abnegation is showing," says Christina. "The rest of us are all right with a little affection in public."**

 **"Oh." I shrug. "Well…I guess I'll have to get over it, then."**

"Good attitude," Eric observes. I decide not to analyse his words this time. Its too tiring.

 **"Or you can stay frigid," says Will, his green eyes glinting with mischief. "You know. If you want."**

 **Christina throws a roll at him. He catches it and bites it.**

 **"Don't be mean to her," she says. "Frigidity is in her nature. Sort of like being a know-it-all is in yours."**

 **"I am not frigid!" I exclaim.**

 **"Don't worry about it," says Will. "It's endearing. Look, you're all red."**

Everyone giggles, as my face goes red now, too.

 **The comment only makes my face hotter. Everyone else chuckles. I force a laugh and, after a few seconds, it comes naturally.**

 **It feels good to laugh again.**

 **After lunch, Four leads us to a new room. It's huge, with a wood floor that is cracked and creaky and has a large circle painted in the middle. On the left wall is a green board—a chalkboard. My Lower Levels teacher used one, but I haven't seen one since then. Maybe it has something to do with Dauntless priorities: training comes first, technology comes second.**

"Yep," Eric confirms.

 **Our names are written on the board in alphabetical order. Hanging at three-foot intervals along one end of the room are faded black punching bags.**

 **We line up behind them and Four stands in the middle, where we can all see him.**

 **"As I said this morning," says Four, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges—which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless."**

 **I can't even think of life as a Dauntless. All I can think about is making it through initiation.**

 **"We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other," says Four. "So I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."**

 **Four names a few different punches, demonstrating each one as he does, first against the air and then against the punching bag.**

 **I catch on as we practice. Like with the gun, I need a few tries to figure out how to hold myself and how to move my body to make it look like his. The kicks are more difficult, though he only teaches us the basics. The punching bag stings my hands and feet, turning my skin red, and barely moves no matter how hard I hit it. All around me is the sound of skin hitting tough fabric.**

 **Four wanders through the crowd of initiates, watching us as we go through the movements again. When he stops in front of me, my insides twist like someone's stirring them with a fork. He stares at me, his eyes following my body from my head to my feet, not lingering anywhere—a practical, scientific gaze.**

"Keep telling yourself that,"Christina raises her eyebrow. I throw the cushion that was pelted my way after our kiss at her.

 **"You don't have much muscle," he says, "which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them."**

 **Suddenly he presses a hand to my stomach. His fingers are so long that, though the heel of his hand touches one side of my rib cage, his fingertips still touch the other side. My heart pounds so hard my chest hurts, and I stare at him, wide-eyed.**

 **"Never forget to keep tension here," he says in a quiet voice.**

There are a few whistles and catcalls going around the room, so I keep reading, quickly.

 **Four lifts his hand and keeps walking. I feel the pressure of his palm even after he's gone. It's strange, but I have to stop and breathe for a few seconds before I can keep practicing again.**

"I bet you did," Will says.

 **When Four dismisses us for dinner, Christina nudges me with her elbow.**

 **"I'm surprised he didn't break you in half," she says. She wrinkles her nose. "He scares the hell out of me. It's that quiet voice he uses."**

"Its just my normal voice!" Tobias exclaims.

"Actually, your voice gets lower when your telling someone off, or trying to intimidate them," I tell him. He makes a face, as if hes thinking about that, before he nods, accepting it.

 **"Yeah. He's…" I look over my shoulder at him. He is quiet, and remarkably self-possessed. But I wasn't afraid that he would hurt me. "…definitely intimidating," I finally say.**

"You are!" Marlene says. "But I know you would never hurt anyone unless they deserved it."

"Hm," He says, and I can tell he is thinking about that night near the Chasm with Al, Drew and Peter... and so am I.

 **Al, who was in front of us, turns around once we reach the Pit and announces, "I want to get a tattoo."**

 **From behind us, Will asks, "A tattoo of what?"**

 **"I don't know." Al laughs. "I just want to feel like I've actually left the old faction. Stop crying about it." When we don't respond, he adds, "I know you've heard me."**

 **"Yeah, learn to quiet down, will you?" Christina pokes Al's thick arm. "I think you're right. We're half in, half out right now. If we want all the way in, we should look the part."**

 **She gives me a look.**

"Ooh, the look," Zeke says.

"Shut up," came Christina's reply.

 **"No. I will not cut my hair," I say, "or dye it a strange color. Or pierce my face."**

 **"How about your bellybutton?" she says.**

 **"Or your nipple?" Will says with a snort.**

"Will!" Christina says, in mock outrage.

 **I groan.**

 **Now that training is done for the day, we can do whatever we want until it's time to sleep. The idea makes me feel almost giddy, although that might be from fatigue.**

"I would have gone straight to bed." Caleb says.

"believe me, i considered it," I reply.

 **The Pit is swarming with people. Christina announces that she and I will meet Al and Will at the tattoo parlor and drags me toward the clothing place. We stumble up the path, climbing higher above the Pit floor, scattering stones with our shoes.**

 **"What is wrong with my clothes?" I say. "I'm not wearing gray anymore."**

 **"They're ugly and gigantic." She sighs. "Will you just let me help you? If you don't like what I put you in, you never have to wear it again, I promise."**

 **Ten minutes later I stand in front of a mirror in the clothing place wearing a knee-length black dress. The skirt isn't full, but it isn't stuck to my thighs, either—unlike the first one she picked out, which I refused. Goose bumps appear on my bare arms. She slips the tie from my hair and I shake it out of its braid so it hangs wavy over my shoulders.**

 **Then she holds up a black pencil.**

 **"Eyeliner," she says.**

 **"You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know." I close my eyes and hold still. She runs the tip of the pencil along the line of my eyelashes. I imagine standing before my family in these clothes, and my stomach twists like I might be sick.**

''You're beautiful,'' Tobias whispers in my ear. I smile.

 **"Who cares about pretty? I'm going for noticeable."**

 **I open my eyes and for the first time stare openly at my own reflection. My heart rate picks up as I do, like I am breaking the rules and will be scolded for it. It will be difficult to break the habits of thinking Abnegation instilled in me, like tugging a single thread from a complex work of embroidery. But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else.**

"And you did," Marlene says.

 **My eyes were blue before, but a dull, grayish blue—the eyeliner makes them piercing. With my hair framing my face, my features look softer and fuller. I am not pretty—my eyes are too big and my nose is too long—but I can see that Christina is right. My face is noticeable.**

 **Looking at myself now isn't like seeing myself for the first time; it's like seeing someone else for the first time. Beatrice was a girl I saw in stolen moments at the mirror, who kept quiet at the dinner table. This is someone whose eyes claim mine and don't release me; this is Tris.**

 **"See?" she says. "You're…striking."**

"Woah, careful, you might give her a big head!" Zeke jokes.

Christina glares.

 **Under the circumstances, it's the best compliment she could have given me. I smile at her in the mirror.**

 **"You like it?" she says.**

 **"Yeah." I nod. "I look like…a different person."**

 **She laughs. "That a good thing or a bad thing?"**

"Good!" Uriah shouts.

 **I look at myself head-on again. For the first time, the idea of leaving my Abnegation identity behind doesn't make me nervous; it gives me hope.**

 **"A good thing." I shake my head. "Sorry, I've just never been allowed to stare at my reflection for this long."**

 **"Really?" Christina shakes her head. "Abnegation is a strange faction, I have to tell you."**

My family and me laugh along with everyone else.

 **"Let's go watch Al get tattooed," I say. Despite the fact that I have left my old faction behind, I don't want to criticize it yet.**

"Yet?" My father questions.

"Ever," I correct.

 **At home, my mother and I picked up nearly identical stacks of clothing every six months or so. It's easy to allocate resources when everyone gets the same thing, but everything is more varied at the Dauntless compound. Every Dauntless gets a certain amount of points to spend per month, and the dress costs one of them.**

 **Christina and I race down the narrow path to the tattoo place. When we get there, Al is sitting in the chair already, and a small, narrow man with more ink than bare skin is drawing a spider on his arm.**

 **Will and Christina flip through books of pictures, elbowing each other when they find a good one. When they sit next to each other, I notice how opposite they are, Christina dark and lean, Will pale and solid, but alike in their easy smiles.**

"No kissing!" Lynn yells, as they start leaning into each other.

This time it is will who glares at Lynn.

 **I wander around the room, looking at the artwork on the walls. These days, the only artists are in Amity. Abnegation sees art as impractical, and its appreciation as time that could be spent serving others, so though I have seen works of art in textbooks, I have never been in a decorated room before. It makes the air feel close and warm, and I could get lost here for hours without noticing. I skim the wall with my fingertips. A picture of a hawk on one wall reminds me of Tori's tattoo. Beneath it is a sketch of a bird in flight.**

 **"It's a raven," a voice behind me says. "Pretty, right?"**

 **I turn to see Tori standing there. I feel like I am back in the aptitude test room, with the mirrors all around me and the wires connected to my forehead. I didn't expect to see her again.**

 **"Well, hello there." She smiles. "Never thought I would see you again. Beatrice, is it?"**

 **"Tris, actually," I say. "Do you work here?"**

 **"I do. I just took a break to administer the tests. Most of the time I'm here." She taps her chin. "I recognize that name. You were the first jumper, weren't you?"**

 **"Yes, I was."**

 **"Well done."**

 **"Thanks." I touch the sketch of the bird. "Listen—I need to talk to you about…" I glance over at Will and Christina. I can't corner Tori now; they'll ask questions. "…something. Sometime."**

"Because _that_ statement won't raise questions!" Uriah says.

"She's always been a bit dim," Peter says. I ignore him. He's not worth my time.

 **"I am not sure that would be wise," she says quietly. "I helped you as much as I could, and now you will have to go it alone."**

 **I purse my lips. She has answers; I know she does. If she won't give them to me now, I will have to find a way to make her tell me some other time.**

"Was that a threat?" Marlene giggles.

"I diddnt mean it like that!" I say.

"I know, I know!"

 **"Want a tattoo?" she says.**

 **The bird sketch holds my attention. I never intended to get pierced or tattooed when I came here. I know that if I do, it will place another wedge between me and my family that I can never remove. And if my life here continues as it has been, it may soon be the least of the wedges between us.**

 **But I understand now what Tori said about her tattoo representing a fear she overcame—a reminder of where she was, as well as a reminder of where she is now. Maybe there is a way to honor my old life as I embrace my new one.**

 **"Yes," I say. "Three of these flying birds."**

 **I touch my collarbone, marking the path of their flight—toward my heart. One for each member of the family I left behind.**

"Aww, touching," Peter says. I throw the book to him, telling him its his turn to read.

"No its not!" He complains.

"It is now, you've annoyed me!" I retort.

He grumbles, but opens the book and begins.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for taking so long to update, but I have started another story in the _Merlin_ fandom, so updates will take much longer than usual. But thanks to the prompt from '** _Golden Girl 2003'_ **You have a chapter here! (Thanks for your message and feedback, by the way!)**

 **I would feel more inspired if I got some reviews, by the way... a little feedback? Some constructive criticism? Pleeeease...?**

 **Until next time! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Peter reads again - and I am suddenly regretting forcing him to. This time, instead of a monotone, he is using a _very_ false happy voice, his words going up and down as he speaks. I want to impale him with Christina's fake nails. (They are _so_ long! How can anybody even do anything with them on!? And they are also extremely pointy. I wouldn't want to be sitting next to her today - Will already has a few scratches).

 **"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," says Four, stepping away from the board in the training room. He gives me a look. The space next to my name is blank.** **The knot in my stomach unravels. A reprieve.**

"Oh no..." Christina groans.

"What?" Will asks, concerned.

"Remember that day..." Christina trails off. Will's confusion turns into a face of recognition, and he hugs Christina.

"Oh, yeah..."

"What, what!?" Uriah says, hating being left out of anything.

"It's just... You'll see..."

"Are you kidding me? Peter, get reading!"

Peter gives Uriah a mock salute, before reading.

 **"This isn't good," says Christina, nudging me with her elbow. Her elbow prods one of my sore muscles—I have more sore muscles than not-sore muscles, this morning—and I wince.**

 **"Ow."**

 **"Sorry," she says. "But look. I'm up against the Tank."**

"The what now?" Lynn questions.

"Molly. She was a strong, bulky girl who was very slow, but effective. Like a tank."

Lynn nods slowly, and Peter takes that as an indication to read.

 **Christina and I sat together at breakfast, and earlier she shielded me from the rest of the dormitory as I changed. I haven't had a friend like her before. Susan was better friends with Caleb than with me, and Robert only went where Susan went.**

"Aww, I was your first friend!" Christina grins at me.

"But that means you were sixteen and had no friends!" Marlene frowns.

"Gee, I wonder why..." Peter comments nastily.

Tobias gives him a look, and he starts reading again quickly.

 **I guess I haven't really had a friend, period. It's impossible to have real friendship when no one feels like they can accept help or even talk about themselves. That won't happen here. I already know more about Christina than I ever knew about Susan, and it's only been two days.**

 **"The Tank?" I find Christina's name on the board. Written next to it is "Molly."**

 **"Yeah, Peter's slightly more feminine-looking minion," she says, nodding toward the cluster of people on the other side of the room. Molly is tall like Christina, but that's where the similarities end. She has broad shoulders, bronze skin, and a bulbous nose.**

"Bulbous? Makes me think of a light bulb glued to her face," Zeke comments.

"She _looked_ like she had a light bulb glued to her face," Christina laughs. I notice my father looking dissaprovingly at Christina. He hates any kind of teasing or talking about someone behind their back. Even if the person in question _is_ horrible. Luckily, before he can mention it, Peter carries on.

 **"Those three"—Christina points at Peter, Drew, and Molly in turn—"have been inseparable since they crawled out of the womb, practically. I hate them."**

 **Will and Al stand across from each other in the arena. They put their hands up by their faces to protect themselves, as Four taught us, and shuffle in a circle around each other. Al is half a foot taller than Will, and twice as broad. As I stare at him, I realize that even his facial features are big—big nose, big lips, big eyes. This fight won't last long.**

"Woah, thanks for the vote of confidence, Tris!" Will says sarcastically.

"I was right, though! He knocked you out cold! And he was _so_ guilty about it afterwards..." I trail off, thinking about the poor boy.

"Good!" My father comments. "Any decent human being should feel guilty for assaulting a man without cause!"

"Well, it was either that or something g worse..." I could tell Christina was talking about that time at the chasm. Soon everyone will be hearing about her worst memory...

 **I glance at Peter and his friends. Drew is shorter than both Peter and Molly, but he's built like a boulder, and his shoulders are always hunched. His hair is orange-red, the color of an old carrot.**

Everybody laughs at that description, me included.

 **"What's wrong with them?" I say.**

 **"Peter is pure evil. When we were kids, he would pick fights with people from other factions and then, when an adult came to break it up, he'd cry and make up some story about how the other kid started it. And of course, they believed him, because we were Candor and we couldn't lie. Ha ha."**

Peter laughs evily. He could be some kind of villan from the TV.

 **Christina wrinkles her nose and adds, "Drew is just his sidekick. I doubt he has an independent thought in his brain. And Molly…she's the kind of person who fries ants with a magnifying glass just to watch them flail around."**

"Ouch. She sounds like a bitch," Lynn says.

"She was," Marlene agrees.

 **In the arena, Al punches Will hard in the jaw. I wince. Across the room, Eric smirks at Al, and turns one of the rings in his eyebrow.**

"Yuck!" Zeke squeals. Eric smirks and starts twisting it round and round. It makes me feel a little queasy, so I look away.

 **Will stumbles to the side, one hand pressed to his face, and blocks Al's next punch with his free hand. Judging by his grimace, blocking the punch is as painful as a blow would have been. Al is slow, but powerful.**

Tobias hugs me, knowing that I am remembering that time he assaulted me near the chasm. I bury my head in his shoulder.

 **Peter, Drew, and Molly cast furtive looks in our direction and then pull their heads together, whispering.**

 **"I think they know we're talking about them," I say.**

 **"So? They already know I hate them."**

 **"They do? How?"**

 **Christina fakes a smile at them and waves. I look down, my cheeks warm. I shouldn't be gossiping anyway. Gossiping is self-indulgent.**

My mother gives me a look.

"I know, I know," I sigh. "Stop living in the past. I have now!"

"Good," my mother says. "It's not healthy."

"I know," I say again.

 **Will hooks a foot around one of Al's legs and yanks back, knocking Al to the ground. Al scrambles to his feet.**

 **"Because I've told them," she says, through the gritted teeth of her smile. Her teeth are straight on top and crooked on the bottom. She looks at me. "We try to be pretty honest about our feelings in Candor. Plenty of people have told me that they don't like me. And plenty of people haven't. Who cares?"**

 **"We just…weren't supposed to hurt people," I say.**

 **"I like to think I'm helping them by hating them," she says. "I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind."**

Laughter fills the room.

"I am _so_ going to use that line!" Zeke chortles.

"Me too!" come various voices from all over the room.

 **I laugh a little at that and focus on the arena again. Will and Al face each other for a few more seconds, more hesitant than they were before. Will flicks his pale hair from his eyes. They glance at Four like they're waiting for him to call the fight off, but he stands with his arms folded, giving no response. A few feet away from him, Eric checks his watch.**

 **After a few seconds of circling, Eric shouts, "Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!"**

My father glares at Eric.

"Its Dauntless! What did you expect? Milk and cookies before bed?" He defends himself.

"No, I expected more than an hour on a punching bag before they would even _attempt_ a fight."

Eric doesn't answer, so Peter reads.

 **"But…" Al straightens, letting his hands down, and says, "Is it scored or something? When does the fight end?"**

 **"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," says Eric.**

" _What!?"_ Caleb exclaimsThat's an _awful_ rule!"

Nobody answers him, but we all silently agree. Maybe not Eric, but everyone else.

"Who made that up?" Caleb continues.

"Eric," Tobias accuses.

"No, actually. I disagreed with it. Janine Matthews was the one who suggested it to Max. But I was out voted, so now it's what happens." Eric crosses his arms.

Really? I had always thought that Eric would have voted for that, easily. Maybe he isn't as heartless as I once thought...

 **"According to Dauntless rules," Four says, "one of you could also concede."**

 **Eric narrows his eyes at Four. "According to the old rules," he says. "In the new rules, no one concedes."**

"Ooh..." Uriah sings, but Eric gives him a dangerous look, so he says no more.

 **"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," Four replies.**

 **"A brave man never surrenders."**

 **Four and Eric stare at each other for a few seconds. I feel like I am looking at two different kinds of Dauntless—the honorable kind, and the ruthless kind. But even I know that in this room, it's Eric, the youngest leader of the Dauntless, who has the authority.**

"You'd think..." Eric mutters darkly.

 **Beads of sweat dot Al's forehead; he wipes them with the back of his hand.**

 **"This is ridiculous," Al says, shaking his head. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"**

 **"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will asks, grinning. "Go on. Try to hit me, slowpoke."**

 **Will puts his hands up again. I see determination in Will's eyes that wasn't there before. Does he really believe he can win? One hard shot to the head and Al will knock him out cold.**

 **That is, if he can actually hit Will. Al tries a punch, and Will ducks, the back of his neck shining with sweat. He dodges another punch, slipping around Al and kicking him hard in the back. Al lurches forward and turns.**

 **When I was younger, I read a book about grizzly bears.**

"Excuse me?" Will frowns at the sudden change in plot.

"let me finish the paragraph," Peter glares.

"Okay, okay! Sorry!"

 **There was a picture of one standing on its hind legs with its paws outstretched, roaring. That is how Al looks now. He charges at Will, grabbing his arm so he can't slip away, and punches him hard in the jaw.**

"The Al I remember most definitely did _not_ look like a grizzly bear..." Marlene laughs.

"I just meant his stance!" I defend.

"Was he that hairy...?" The conversation continues.

"His ears _were_ quite round..."

Peter obviously grows tired of this topic and reads on.

 **I watch the light leave Will's eyes, which are pale green, like celery.**

"Really?" Will raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"What is it with you and vegetables? Drew's hair is like old carrots, my eyes are like celery, next you'll be saying that your bruises look like beetroot!"

"Well, I didn't exactly _write_ this, the author was probably just trying to be descriptive!" I laugh.

 **They roll back into his head, and all the tension falls from his body. He slips from Al's grasp, dead weight, and crumples to the floor. Cold rushes down my back and fills my chest.**

 **Al's eyes widen, and he crouches next to Will, tapping his cheek with one hand. The room falls silent as we wait for Will to respond. For a few seconds, he doesn't, just lies on the ground with an arm bent beneath him. Then he blinks, clearly dazed.**

 **"Get him up," Eric says. He stares with greedy eyes at Will's fallen body, like the sight is a meal and he hasn't eaten in weeks. The curl of his lip is** **cruel.**

Everybody is glaring at Eric now. If he noticed - which he must have - he didn't show it.

 **Four turns to the chalkboard and circles Al's name. Victory.**

 **"Next up—Molly and Christina!" shouts Eric. Al pulls Will's arm across his shoulders and drags him out of the arena.**

"I don't want to re-live this," Christina says, walking out. I follow her, not wanting her to be alone.

We walk all the way to her bedroom, which she shares with Will.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah... It's just, hearing your worst memory read out for all those people to hear? It's mortifying. They'll be all sympathetic and nice, and then I'll be all awkward and then they'll probably think I'm ungrateful and... Just no."

"I know," I say, and I pull her into a hug.

She sniffs, and I notice a tear rolling down her cheek, before she quickly wipes it away.

"I'm sorry," she says, voice muffled, since her face is now buried in my armpit. "I mean, this book is all about you, it is _your_ privacy being invaded, and I'm making this much fuss over one thing..."

"Hey, it's okay - you said it - it is your worst memory. Nobody wants to hear it read out for the world to hear. I said it was okay to read this book, and I stand by that. But you never agreed, and you shouldn't have to."

Christina hugs me again. "How did I get a friend like you?"

I smile, she has changed since getting here - become more... Well, nice.

We stay in that hug for a good five minutes, before Will comes in.

"Woah, am I disturbing something?" He asks, taking a step back. Christina laughs.

"No. What's up?"

"Well, we were going to read one more chapter for the day, then go to bed. Are you coming?"

"Yeah," Christina agrees.

 **OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

A/N: **Heya guys and girls! Hope you like this chapter. Sorry for cutting the reading short at the end, but I felt like it had to be done. (Also, I'm lazy...)** **I have something to say now - important stuff. I am not updating half as much as I should. I don't have the time, what with my _Merlin_ story, and I'm writing a _Merlin_ oneshotBut don't stress! I'm not abandoning this piece of work! I am, however, gonna find somebody to work on this story _with_ me. Like: I do a chapter, someone else does a chapter, I do a chapter, someone else does a chapter, and so on.**

 **Soooooo I'm gonna have a competition! If you would like to become a co-author with me for this story, please PM me! I'll send you the next** ** _Divergent_** **chapter, and I want _you_ to do all of the comments and conversations! In other words, write the next chapter for ' _Divergent Revealed'!_ I will choose the best chapter and the author will become my co-author!**

 **(but it's okay - I'm not gonna be the kind of person who messages you complaining that you're too late. I don't really care how long it takes you to write it, as long as it's good. I'm not _that_ hypocritical.)**

 **I will give you until... The 23rd of August (2017, obviously), which is 10 days, then I will post the winning chapter and notify you who my new co-author is!**

 **So, to summarise, message me saying you want to be my co-author, I'll send you a chapter of D _ivergent,_ you write the next chapter of Divergent Revealed and I say 'Well done! You won!' if you were great!**

 **If you've got any questions, don't hesitate to message! I'm friendly enough!** **Xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello people! The competition is over! I will now announce the winner...**

 **...**

 **... suspense...**

 **...**

 **... not long now...**

 **...**

 **... okay, fine...!**

 **...Congratulations,** _The Tribute Initiate_ **! Your chapter was great, and you won the competition!**

 **And thank you to** _divergentpanda46_ **, who unfortunately didnt have the time to co-write with me, but thanks for at least wanting to! xD**

 **And also thanks to** _Mikaza1498 **,**_ **your entry was also fabulous, and if there is another competition of this sort, I will definately notify you before the competition even opens. You should write one of these on your own!**

 **Well done everybody involved, although (depressingly), those were the only people who messaged!**

 **But anyway, here's the winning chapter. (With little bits added from me...)**

* * *

The three of us walk back to the living room, and sit on the couch.

Everyone awkwardly looks at each other for a moment, before Will decides to break the silence.

"So… who wants to read?"

Christina speaks up, not wanting to appear cowardly.

"I'll do it."

Will raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Who cares!" Peter rudely interrupts "Let's just read the stupid book already!"

Christina shoots him a death glare, and picks up the book.

 **That night I dream that Christina hangs from the railing again, by her toes this time, and someone shouts that only someone who is Divergent can help her.**

"Will, I thought you said it was over!"

"I thought it was. If you don't want to read it-"

"No!" Christina cuts him off, and then takes a deep breath "I can do this." She continues reading.

 **So I run forward to pull her up, but someone shoves me over the edge, and I wake before I hit the rocks.**

 **Sweat-soaked and shaky from the dream, I walk to the girls' bathroom to shower and change. When I come back, the word "Stiff" is spray-painted across my mattress in red. The word is written smaller along the bed frame, and again on my pillow. I look around, my heart pounding with anger.**

 **Peter stands behind me, whistling as he fluffs his pillow. It's hard to believe I could hate someone who looks so kind—his eyebrows turn upward naturally, and he has a wide, white smile.**

"Tris, you've got to be kidding me," Lynn says, rolling her eyes. "Did you really just say that Peter, the eye-stabbing psychopath, who tried to kill you," She shoots Peter a death glare, "is hard to hate?"

"Those are not kind things to say about someone!" My father says, offended.

"She's just telling the truth." Christina says.

"I for one, happen to agree with Andrew." Marcus cuts in.

I can't believe Marcus. Judging Lynn, when he's done things much worse.

"You have no room to talk about kindness!" I yell at him "Not after what you-"

"Beatrice!" My father reprimands "Such outburst are unnecessary, and self indulgent!"

My mother puts a hand on his shoulder, in an attempt to calm his anger.

"Andrew, She may have had a point. I haven't known Beatrice to be irrational."

"I suppose your right."

Eric has grown annoyed with our conversation.

"Will you stiffs just shut up?!"

Everyone stops talking, and Christina reads again.

 **"Nice decorations," he says.**

 **"Did I do something to you that I'm unaware of?" I demand. I grab the corner of a sheet and yank it away from the mattress. "I don't know if you've noticed, but we are in the same faction now."**

"Of course he hasn't noticed, Tris. He's an idiot." Lynn says, and everyone laughs.

 **"I don't know what you're referring to," he says lightly. Then he glances at me. "And you and I will never be in the same faction."**

 **I shake my head as I remove my pillowcase from the pillow. Don't get angry. He wants to get a rise out of me; he won't. But every time he fluffs his pillow, I think about punching him in the gut.**

"Please do it." Lynn says.

"Yes, please tell me you did." Marlene gives me a hopeful look.

 **Al walks in, and I don't even have to ask him to help me; he just walks over and strips bedding with me. I will have to scrub the bed frame later. Al carries the stack of sheets to the trash can and together we walk toward the training room.**

"He liked you, didn't he?" Uriah asks.

"Yes." I admit, "But I didn't like him back."

"Wouldn't matter anyway. He's dead." Eric says callously.

I feel like hitting him. How can he be so heartless? Al was a _real person_ who killed himself. All earlier thoughts of how Eric might be changing had gone out the window.

 **"Ignore him," Al says. "He's an idiot, and if you don't get angry, he'll stop eventually."**

 **"Yeah." I touch my cheeks. They are still warm with an angry blush. I try to distract myself. "Did you talk to Will?" I ask quietly. "After…you know."**

 **"Yeah. He's fine. He isn't angry." Al sighs. "Now I'll always be remembered as the first guy who knocked someone out cold."**

 **"There are worse ways to be remembered. At least they won't antagonize you."**

 **"There are better ways too." He nudges me with his elbow, smiling. "First jumper."**

 **Maybe I was the first jumper, but I suspect that's where my Dauntless fame begins and ends.**

"She's so wrong." Christina says, and everyone agrees, except Peter, and my father, who hasn't said anything since earlier.

 **I clear my throat. "One of you had to get knocked out, you know. If it hadn't been him, it would have been you."**

 **"Still, I don't want to do it again." Al shakes his head, too many times, too fast. He sniffs. "I really don't."**

"Then what is he doing in Dauntless? We protect people, and sometimes that means hurting someone else. And he should get over it." Lynn says.

I think she may have a point, as much as it hurts to admit it, Al really didn't belong in Dauntless. Maybe he should have stayed in Candor.

"That's a rather callous outlook." My father says.

"Welcome to Dauntless." Zeke quips.

 **We reach the door to the training room and I say, "But you have to."**

 **He has a kind face. Maybe he is too kind for Dauntless.**

 **I look at the chalkboard when I walk in. I didn't have to fight yesterday, but today I definitely will. When I see my name, I stop in the middle of the step.**

 **My opponent is Peter.**

 **"Oh no," says Christina, who shuffles in behind us. Her face is bruised, and she looks like she is trying not to limp.**

"Apparently I didn't do a very good job of it." Christina comments.

 **When she sees the board, she crumples the muffin wrapper she is holding into her fist. "Are they serious? They're really going to make you fight him?"**

"MUFFINS!" Marlene yells out randomly, and Uriah laughs.

 **Peter is almost a foot taller than I am, and yesterday, he beat Drew in less than five minutes. Today Drew's face is more black-and-blue than flesh-toned.**

 **"Maybe you can just take a few hits and pretend to go unconscious," suggests Al. "No one would blame you."**

"This dude should have been an Amity." Uriah says.

 **"Yeah," I say. "Maybe."**

 **I stare at my name on the board. My cheeks feel hot. Al and Christina are just trying to help, but the fact that they don't believe, not even in a tiny corner of their minds, that I have a chance against Peter bothers me.**

"You really thought I saw you that way?" Christina says "Tris, if I thought you were weak, I would have said so."

"I know that." I say, and then add "now."

 **I stand at the side of the room, half listening to Al and Christina's chatter, and watch Molly fight Edward. He's much faster than she is, so I'm sure Molly will not win today.**

 **As the fight goes on and my irritation fades, I start to get nervous. Four told us yesterday to exploit our opponent's weaknesses, and aside from his utter lack of likable qualities, Peter doesn't have any. He's tall enough to be strong but not so big that he's slow; he has an eye for other people's soft spots; he's vicious and won't show me any mercy. I would like to say that he underestimates me, but that would be a lie. I am as unskilled as he suspects.**

"Of course you're skilled," Tobias whispers into my ear, wraping his arms round me. "You're kind, smart, brave, beutiful, and if you dont beleive me, consult your test results."

"You get a test result for 'beutiful'?" I laugh.

"Unfortunately not. You'll just have to take my word on that part..."

 **Maybe Al is right, and I should just take a few hits and pretend to be unconscious.**

"Al is never right!" Uriah shouts"Ever!"

Everyone laughs at him.

 **But I can't afford not to try. I can't be ranked last.**

 **By the time Molly peels herself off the ground, looking only half-conscious thanks to Edward, my heart is pounding so hard I can feel it in my fingertips. I can't remember how to stand. I can't remember how to punch. I walk to the center of the arena and my guts writhe as Peter comes toward me, taller than I remembered, arm muscles standing at attention. He smiles at me. I wonder if throwing up on him will do me any good.**

 **I doubt it.**

"You should have tried!" Zeke laughs.

 **"You okay there, Stiff?" he says. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry."**

 **Over Peter's shoulder, I see Four standing by the door with his arms folded. His mouth is puckered, like he just swallowed something sour.**

 **"Four, why were you making that stupid face?" Eric says condescendingly**

"I was trying not to jump into that ring and beat him up myself. Much like what I'm doing to you right now."

 **Next to him is Eric, who taps his foot faster than my heartbeat.**

"I don't know if that's physically possible, Tris." Will says.

"Your Erudite is showing." Christina teases.

 **One second Peter and I are standing there, staring at each other, and the next Peter's hands are up by his face, his elbows bent. His knees are bent too, like he's ready to spring.**

 **"Come on, Stiff," he says, his eyes glinting. "Just one little tear. Maybe some begging."**

 **The thought of begging Peter for mercy makes me taste bile, and on an impulse, I kick him in the side.**

" _Go Tris_!" Lynn yells.

 **Or I would have kicked him in the side, if he hadn't caught my foot and yanked it forward, knocking me off-balance.**

"... Well, you tried…" Lynn adds.

 **I look down, feeling ashamed: this was not one of my better moments, and I wish these people didn't have to hear of it.**

 **My back smacks into the floor, and I pull my foot free, scrambling to my feet.**

 **I have to stay on my feet so he can't kick me in the head. That's the only thing I can think about.**

 **"Stop playing with her," snaps Eric. "I don't have all day."**

 **Peter's mischievous look disappears. His arm twitches and pain stabs my jaw and spreads across my face, making my vision go black at the edges and my ears ring.**

"Screw you, Peter!" Lynn yells.

He smirks in response. "But Lynn, I was just doing what I was supposed to."

Lynn rolls her eyes "This is useless: you aren't intelligent enough to understand _anything_ I say to you, apparently."

 **I blink and lurch to the side as the room dips and sways. I don't remember his fist coming at me.**

 **I am too off-balance to do anything but move away from him, as far as the arena will allow. He darts in front of me and kicks me hard in the stomach. His foot forces the air from my lungs and it hurts, hurts so badly I can't breathe, or maybe that's because of the kick, I don't know, I just fall.**

 **On your feet is the only thought in my mind. I push myself up, but Peter is already there. He grabs my hair with one hand and punches me in the nose with the other. This pain is different, less like a stab and more like a crackle, crackling in my brain, spotting my vision with different colors, blue, green, red.**

 **"That's not good." Caleb comments**

"No, it really isn't." Will seconds.

Christina smirks at them, and then continues reading.

 **I try to shove him off, my hands slapping at his arms, and he punches me again, this time in the ribs. My face is wet. Bloody nose. More red, I guess, but I'm too dizzy to look down.**

 **He shoves me and I fall again, scraping my hands on the ground, blinking, sluggish and slow and hot. I cough and drag myself to my feet. I really should be lying down if the room is spinning this** **fast. And Peter spins around me; I am the center of a spinning planet, the only thing staying still. Something hits me from the side and I almost fall over again.**

 **On my feet on my feet. I see a solid mass in front of me, a body. I punch as hard as I can, and my fist hits something soft. Peter barely groans, and smacks my ear with the flat of his palm, laughing under his breath. I hear ringing and try to blink some of the black patches out of my eyes; how did something get in my eye?**

 **Out of my peripheral vision, I see Four shove the door open and walk out. Apparently this fight isn't interesting enough for him. Or maybe he's going to find out why everything's spinning like a top, and I don't blame him; I want to know the answer too.**

 **My knees give out and the floor is cool against my cheek. Something slams into my side and I scream for the first time, a high screech that belongs to someone else and not me, and it slams into my side again, and I can't see anything at all, not even whatever is right in front of my face, the lights out. Someone shouts, "Enough!" and I think too much and nothing at all.**

Everyone who didn't witness the event seems shocked. We sit there in silence, until Christina starts reading again.

 **When I wake up, I don't feel much, but the inside of my head is fuzzy, like it's packed with cotton balls.**

 **I know that I lost, and the only thing keeping the pain at bay is what is making it difficult to think straight.**

 **"Is her eye already black?" someone asks.**

 **I open one eye—the other stays shut like it's glued that way. Sitting to my right are Will and Al; Christina sits on the bed to my left with an ice pack on her jaw.**

 **"What happened to your face?" I say. My lips feel clumsy and too large.**

 **She laughs. "Look who's talking. Should we get you an eye patch?"**

"Yeah Tris, you can twin with Edward!" Uriah says.

 **"Well, I already know what happened to my face," I say. "I was there. Sort of."**

 **"Did you just make a joke, Tris?" Will says, grinning. "We should get you on painkillers more often if you're going to start cracking jokes. Oh, and to answer your question—I beat her up."**

 **"I can't believe you couldn't beat Will," Al says, shaking his head.**

 **"What? He's good," she says, shrugging. "Plus, I think I've finally learned how to stop losing. I just need to stop people from punching me in the jaw."**

"You know, you'd think you would have figured that out already." Will winks at her. "Now I know why you aren't Erudite. Not too bright, are you?"

Christina glares.

 **"You feeling okay, Tris?" Al says. His eyes are dark brown, almost the same color as Christina's skin. His cheek looks rough, like if he didn't shave it, he would have a thick beard. Hard to believe he's only sixteen.**

 **"Yeah," I say. "Just wish I could stay here forever so I never have to see Peter again."**

 **But I don't know where "here" is. I am in a large, narrow room with a row of beds on either side. Some of the beds have curtains between them. On the right side of the room is a nurse's station. This must be where the Dauntless go when they're sick or hurt. The woman there looks at us over a clipboard. I've never seen a nurse with so many piercings in her ear before. Some Dauntless must volunteer to do jobs that traditionally belong to other factions. After all, it wouldn't make sense for the Dauntless to make the trek to the city hospital every time they get hurt.**

 **The first time I went to the hospital, I was six years old. My mother fell on the sidewalk in front of our house and broke her arm. Hearing her scream made me burst into tears, but Caleb just ran for my father without saying a word. At the hospital, an Amity woman in a yellow shirt with clean fingernails took my mother's blood pressure and set her bone with a smile.**

"Why are the Amity always so happy?" Marlene wonders aloud.

"Who knows?" Will says "Maybe we'll find out."

 **I remember Caleb telling her that it would only take a month to mend, because it was a hairline fracture. I thought he was reassuring her, because that's what selfless people do, but now I wonder if he was repeating something he had studied; if all his Abnegation tendencies were just Erudite traits in disguise.**

My mother and father exchange a look, and Caleb just stares down at the floor.

 **"Don't worry about Peter," says Will. "He'll at least get beat up by Edward, who has been studying hand-to-hand combat since we were ten years old. For fun."**

 **"Good," says Christina. She checks her watch. "I think we're missing dinner. Do you want us to stay here, Tris?"**

 **I shake my head. "I'm fine."**

 **Christina and Will get up, but Al waves them ahead. He has a distinct smell—sweet and fresh, like sage and lemongrass. When he tosses and turns at night, I get a whiff of it and I know he's having a nightmare.**

"Eew," somebody said.

 **"I just wanted to tell you that you missed Eric's announcement. We're going on a field trip tomorrow, to the fence, to learn about Dauntless jobs," he says. "We have to be at the train by eight fifteen."**

 **"Good," I say. "Thanks."**

 **"And don't pay attention to Christina. Your face doesn't look that bad." He smiles a little. "I mean, it looks good. It always looks good. I mean—you look brave. Dauntless."**

"He's not very good at flirting." Will observes.

Christina smiles seductively at him.

"No, especially not compared to you."

"Ew! You're all gross!" Lynn interrupts

Christina glares at her.

 **His eyes skirt mine, and he scratches the back of his head. The silence seems to grow between us. It was a nice thing to say, but he acts like it meant more than just the words. I hope I am wrong. I could not be attracted to Al—I could not be attracted to anyone that fragile. I smile as much as my bruised cheek will allow, hoping that will diffuse the tension.**

 **"I should let you rest," he says. He gets up to leave, but before he can go, I grab his wrist.**

 **"Al, are you okay?" I say. He stares blankly at me, and I add, "I mean, is it getting any easier?"**

 **"Uh…" He shrugs. "A little."**

 **He pulls his hand free and shoves it in his pocket. The question must have embarrassed him, because I've never seen him so red before. If I spent my nights sobbing into my pillow, I would be a little embarrassed too. At least when I cry, I know how to hide it.**

"Bea-" My father begins, but Christina speaks over him. Thankfully.

 **"I lost to Drew. After your fight with Peter." He looks at me. "I took a few hits, fell down, and stayed there. Even though I didn't have to. I figure…I figure that since I beat Will, if I lose all the rest, I won't be ranked last, but I won't have to hurt anyone anymore."**

 **"Is that really what you want?"**

 **He looks down. "I just can't do it. Maybe that means I'm a coward."**

 **"You're not a coward just because you don't want to hurt people," I say, because I know it's the right thing to say, even if I'm not sure I mean it.**

 **For a moment we are both still, looking at each other. Maybe I do mean it. If he is a coward, it isn't because he doesn't enjoy pain. It is because he refuses to act.**

 **He gives me a pained look and says, "You think our families will visit us? They say transfer families never come on Visiting Day."**

 **"I don't know," I say. "I don't know if it would be good or bad if they did."**

 **"I think bad." He nods. "Yeah, it's already hard enough." He nods again, as if confirming what he just said, and walks away.**

 **In less than a week, the Abnegation initiates will be able to visit their families for the first time since the Choosing Ceremony. They will go home and sit in their living rooms and interact with their parents for the first time as adults.**

 **I used to look forward to that day. I used to think about what I would say to my mother and father when I was allowed to ask them questions at the dinner table.**

 **In less than a week, the Dauntless-born initiates will find their families on the Pit floor, or in the glass building above the compound, and do whatever it is the Dauntless do when they reunite. Maybe they take turns throwing knives at each other's heads—it wouldn't surprise me.**

The Dauntless borns laugh at this.

"It's happened before" Uriah says.

"Let me guess, Zeke threw them?" Tobias asks.

"Yup."

"Hey! I only did it because YOU dared me to!" Zeke says, chuckling.

 **And the transfer initiates with forgiving parents will be able to see them again too. I suspect mine will not be among them. Not after my father's cry of outrage at the ceremony. Not after both their children left them.**

My parents give me sympathetic looks (my fathers laced with guilt), but do not interrupt Christina's reading.

 **Maybe if I could have told them I was Divergent, and I was confused about what to choose, they would have understood. Maybe they would have helped me figure out what Divergent is, and what it means, and why it's dangerous.**

"Come to think of it, why are Divergents dangerous?" Will asks

"Huh, I don't know." Lynn says "I used to think they were, but after this… I'm beginning to change my mind."

But I didn't trust them with that secret, so I will never know.

 **I clench my teeth as the tears come. I am fed up. I am fed up with tears and weakness. But there isn't much I can do to stop them.**

 **Maybe I drift off to sleep, and maybe I don't. Later that night, though, I slip out of the room and go back to the dormitory. The only thing worse than letting Peter put me in the hospital would be letting him put me there overnight.**

"The end." Christina says, sighing in relief, and shuts the book.

"Well, I guess that's it for tonight." Caleb says.

We all say goodnight, and then walk back to our rooms.

Ten chapters down, 29 left.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I know, its short, but I didn't have a lot of time.**

 **Me and The Tribute Initiate are going to aim to update every 1-2 weeks, by the way.**

* * *

My mother reads this morning, and it brings back memories of when she used to read me fairy tales about giants and fairies.

 **The next morning, I don't hear the alarm, shuffling feet, or conversations as the other initiates get ready. I wake to Christina shaking my shoulder with one hand and tapping my cheek with the other. She already wears a black jacket zipped up to her throat. If she has bruises from yesterday's fight, her dark skin makes them difficult to see.**

"Excellent!" Christina says gleefully.

"Why should you have to hide your bruises, anyway?" Asks Marcus.

That is the last straw.

"Well-" Christina starts, but I interrupt.

"I think you know exactly why, you psychopathic little piece of-" Tobias whips his hand over my mouth, a warning glare on his face. He removes it again once he's sure I won't carry on.

"Beatrice!" My father exclaims. "He was asking a simple question!"

I stand up. "No! If you knew what he-" My mouth has been covered again, by Tobias, who pulls me back down.

"Tris!" He says. I growl.

"Keep your girlfriend under control, Four!" Marcus hisses.

"Excuse me?" I laugh, but with no humor. How dare he?

I thought Tobias would have to hold me down again, but this time it's him that stands up. He strides up to Marcus. "Don't you dare speak about Tris like that. Ever." He punches him in the nose, and storms out of the room.

I couldn't help the laugh that flew out of my mouth, earning a disappointed glance from my father. I know I should have felt bad, maybe tried to stop him, but honestly, all I feel is delight. I try not to let my smile show while my parents and Caleb fuss about Marcus' bloody nose...

I can't help but notice how slowly my mother is working, and I catch the ever-so-slight smile on her face. Does she know what Marcus did? Shaking my head, I get up to follow Tobias, before I hit his pathetic excuse for a father myself.

He's not in the hall, so I check our room. Sure enough, there is my boyfriend, lying on his back on the bed. If I didn't know better, I would say he was dead.

"Tobias?" I say tentatively.

"Did I break it?" He asks after a pause, not moving from the bed.

"What?" I ask.

"Marcus' nose."

"Oh. I don't think so, but it _is_ bleeding all over the place!" I say, chirpily. Tobias chuckles, and I take it as a good sign.

"Budge up," I tell him, squeezing myself next to him, putting my head on his chest. He automatically starts stroking my hair. "You alright?" I mumble into his T-shirt.

He grunts. "I can put up with him speaking to me like that, I'm used to it. But when he starts on you? Too far. It is a mistake he won't make again. But maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if he did... I'd get to hit him again."

I laugh a little bit, but I don't think for one moment that he's joking. Hell, I'll help him! I voice my thoughts, and Tobias laughs quietly again.

"I bet you would." He says. Then, "I don't understand what we're doing here... Reading about events that have already happened? Most of us already knew all this stuff that they're reading about, all it's doing is stirring up bad memories and uncovering secrets that were best left alone. I just don't get it..."

" River said our futures were in that book."

"Then why can't we just skip past the painful bits and straight to the important parts?"

I shrug, seeing his point.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"About what?"

"Everything. I can't help but feel like all this is my fault..."

"What? Why would it be your fault?" Tobias furrows his brow.

"Well, this is all about me, isn't it? Its my life we're reading about, my thoughts, my secerets. And anyone else who trusted me with a seceret... I suppose we're gonna have to read about your fear landscape soon..." I sigh.

"Maybe we can persuade everyone to skip past it?"

"Maybe..." I doubt it.

"But Tris, none of this is your fault, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Okay." I wrap my arms around him, and we just lie there for a while.

"We should go back," Tobias says, about fifteen, twenty minutes later.

"Sure?" I reply. He nods, so we both get up and slowly walk out of the room, not in any rush to get back. I peck his cheek before pushing the door open.

We are met by smiles, from all except Marcus, who glares at us both as we sit down.

"Do you wan't us to start from the start again?" Will asks.

"No, it's okay," I tell him.

"We're outside the compound, on our little field trip to the gate," Lynn tells us helpfully.

"Thanks," Tobias says.

 **"If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation, you will probably end up here," says Four as he reaches the gate. "Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go on patrols beyond Amity's farms, but—"**

 **"Patrols for what purpose?" asks Will.**

"You were all very annoying, always interrupting me," Tobias says to Will, glaring, but with a smile on his face.

"Hey! It was Christina who started doing it first!" He defends.

"Oi!" Christina jabs Will in the side.

 **Four lifts a shoulder. "I suppose you'll discover that if you find yourself among them. As I was saying. For the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it isn't as bad as it seems."**

 **"Yeah. At least we won't be driving buses or cleaning up other people's messes like the factionless," Christina whispers in my ear.**

"It's not so bad," my father argues. He helps them sometimes.

"Yeah," Marcus adds. Nobody responds.

 **"What rank were you?" Peter asks Four.**

 **I don't expect Four to answer, but he looks levelly at Peter and says, "I was first."**

"Really?" Caleb goggles. "And you chose to train initiates?"

"I did," Tobias nods, but doesn't elaborate.

 **"And you chose to do this?" Peter's eyes are wide and round and dark green. They would look innocent to me if I didn't know what a terrible person he is. "Why didn't you get a government job?"**

"Yeah!" Uriah suddenly says.

"Didn't want one," Tobias says simply.

"Why?" Marlene asks.

I know why. He didn't want to see Marcus, but I know he won't tell anyone that.

"Can you imagine having to work with _him_ all the time?" He gestures to Eric, who smirks.

"Thank you," he smiles smugly, doing a mock bow.

 **"I didn't want one," Four says flatly. I remember what he said on the first day, about working in the control room, where the Dauntless monitor the city's security. It is difficult for me to imagine him there, surrounded by computers. To me he belongs in the training room.**

Everyone nods in agreement.

 **We learned about faction jobs in school. The Dauntless have limited options. We can guard the fence or work for the security of our city. We can work in the Dauntless compound, drawing tattoos or making weapons or even fighting each other for entertainment. Or we can work for the Dauntless leaders. That sounds like my best option.**

"Are you planning to?" Eric asks.

"No," I reply. "I want to train initiates. Why do you care, anyway?"

"Just curious about the career path of the top initiate," he shrugs.

"Right..."

 **The only problem is that my rank is terrible. And I might be factionless by the end of stage one.**

"You were close, during stage one," Lynn comments.

" _What_? Why didn't you say?" My father stresses.

"Because I got better. And I didn't want to worry you," I say.

 **We stop next to the gate. A few Dauntless guards glance in our direction but not many. They are too busy pulling the doors—which are twice as tall as they are and several times wider—open to admit a truck.**

 **The man driving wears a hat, a beard, and a smile. He stops just inside the gate and gets out. The back of the truck is open, and a few other Amity sit among the stacks of crates. I peer at the crates—they hold apples.**

"Amity! Maybe they'll reveal their secerets to happiness!" Zeke says gleefully.

"They drug the bread," Marcus reveals.

" _What_?" Everyone says collectively.

"Its hardly surprising," Peter shrugs.

"Nobody could be _that_ happy all the time," Marlene agrees.

"Hey! Any one have any Amity bread? Would _love_ to try some of _that_!" Uriah laughs.

"We know!" Everyone choruses.

"We could force feed it to Lynn!" Zeke giggles.

"Ha. Ha." Lynn says sarcastically. "Not in your lifetime."

 **"Beatrice?" an Amity boy says.**

 **My head jerks at the sound of my name. One of the Amity in the back of the truck stands. He has curly blond hair and a familiar nose, wide at the tip and narrow at the bridge. Robert. I try to remember him at the Choosing Ceremony and nothing comes to mind but the sound of my heart in my ears. Who else transferred? Did Susan? Are there any Abnegation initiates this year? If Abnegation is fizzling, it's our fault—Robert's and Caleb's and mine. Mine. I push the thought from my mind.**

 **Robert hops down from the truck. He wears a gray T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. After a second's hesitation, he moves toward me and folds me in his arms. I stiffen. Only in Amity do people hug each other in greeting. I don't move a muscle until he releases me.**

"You didn't even hug people?" Christina looks shocked. "You had a pretty pathetic life, Tris."

My family and Marcus glare at her

 **His own smile fades when he looks at me again. "Beatrice, what happened to you? What happened to your face?"**

 **"Nothing," I say. "Just training. Nothing."**

 **"Beatrice?" demands a nasal voice next to me. Molly folds her arms and laughs. "Is that your real name, Stiff?"**

 **I glance at her. "What did you think Tris was short for?"**

"Ooh!" A few people call.

 **"Oh, I don't know…weakling?"**

"That makes no sense," Caleb says with a frown.

"I know..." Marlene agrees.

 **She touches her chin. If her chin was bigger, it might balance out her nose, but it is weak and almost recedes into her neck. "Oh wait, that doesn't start with Tris. My mistake."**

 **"There's no need to antagonize her," Robert says softly. "I'm Robert, and you are?"**

 **"Someone who doesn't care what your name is," she says. "Why don't you get back in your truck? We're not supposed to fraternize with other faction members."**

 **"Why don't you get away from us?" I snap.**

"Ooh!" Everyone sings again.

"Hello, badass Tris!" Lynn laughs.

 **"Right. Wouldn't want to get between you and your boyfriend," she says. She walks away smiling.**

 **Robert gives me a sad look. "They don't seem like nice people."**

 **"Some of them aren't."**

"Peter," Zeke fake coughs to conceal the name.

"Eric," Uriah fake coughs at the same time.

 **"You could go home, you know. I'm sure Abnegation would make an exception for you."**

 **"What makes you think I want to go home?" I ask, my cheeks hot. "You think I can't handle this or something?"**

 **"It's not that." He shakes his head. "It's not that you can't, it's that you shouldn't have to. You should be happy."**

"Are you happy now?" Tobias asks, tilting his head.

"Utterly and completely," I say honestly. "I have a handsome boyfriend, brilliant friends and a wonderful life, and once we are back in dauntless, a great job, too. I couldn't be happier!"

He grins at me.

 **"This is what I chose. This is it." I look over Robert's shoulder. The Dauntless guards seem to have finished examining the truck. The bearded man gets back into the driver's seat and closes the door behind him. "Besides, Robert. The goal of my life isn't just…to be happy."**

"Sounds like a pretty good goal, to be honest," Caleb tells me. I nod, seeing his point.

 **"Wouldn't it be easier if it was, though?" he says.**

 **Before I can answer, he touches my shoulder and turns toward the truck. A girl in the back has a banjo on her lap. She starts to strum it as Robert hoists himself inside, and the truck starts forward, carrying the banjo sounds and her warbling voice away from us.**

"I really want to try their bread..." Zeke says dreamily.

 **Robert waves to me, and again I see another possible life in my mind's eye. I see myself in the back of the truck, singing with the girl, though I've never sung before, laughing when I am off-key, climbing trees to pick the apples, always peaceful and always safe.**

Tobias laughs. "Can't really picture you doing that!"

"Neither can I, to be honest..." I say.

 **The Dauntless guards close the gate and lock it behind them. The lock is on the outside. I bite my lip. Why would they lock the gate from the outside and not the inside? It almost seems like they don't want to keep something out; they want to keep us in.**

"Or they just dont want people making daring escapes and killing themselves," Marcus is quick to say.

"What's out there?" Marlene asks.

"Nothing. just bare wastelands and animals that would likely eat you," Eric says firmly. Why dont I believe him...?

Before I can give it any further thought, my mother continues reading.

 **I push the thought out of my head. That makes no sense.**

 **Four steps away from the fence, where he was talking to a female Dauntless guard with a gun balanced on her shoulder a moment before. "I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions," he says when he's a foot away from me.**

"Yep!" Lynn says with a grin.

 **I cross my arms. "It was a two-minute conversation."**

 **"I don't think a smaller time frame makes it any less unwise." He furrows his eyebrows and touches the corner of my bruised eye with his fingertips. My head jerks back, but he doesn't take his hand away. Instead he tilts his head and sighs. "You know, if you could just learn to attack first, you might do better."**

 **"Attack first?" I say. "How will that help?"**

"It could, and did, help a lot," Will says.

I nod. "Yeah."

 **"You're fast. If you can get a few good hits in before they know what's going on, you could win." He shrugs, and his hand falls.**

 **"I'm surprised you know that," I say quietly, "since you left halfway through my one and only fight."**

 **"It wasn't something I wanted to watch," he says.**

"Awww!" All the girls in the room, excluding Lynn and my mother say.

 **What's that supposed to mean?**

"It means he loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt!" Christina smiles dreamily, snuggling into Will.

 **He clears his throat. "Looks like the next train is here. Time to go, Tris."**

My mother passes the book to my Father, who starts the next chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Hi! This chapter is brought to you by** _The Tribute Initiate_ **! Woo! :D**

* * *

 **I crawl across my mattress and heave a sigh. It has been two days since my fight with Peter, and my bruises are turning purple-blue. I have gotten used to aching every time I move, so now I move better, but I am still far from healed.**

Peter smirks at that, and opens his mouth, probably to make a rude comment. But my father continue reading.

 **Even though I am still injured, I had to fight again today. Luckily this time, I was paired against Myra, who couldn't throw a good punch if someone was controlling her arm for her.**

"Burn!" Uriah yells out, grinning

 **I got a good hit in during the first two minutes. She fell down and was too dizzy to get back up. I should feel triumphant, but there is no triumph in punching a girl like Myra.**

 **The second I touch my head to the pillow, the door to the dormitory opens, and people stream into the room with flashlights. I sit up, almost hitting my head on the bed frame above me, and squint through the dark to see what's going on.**

 **"Everybody up!" someone roars. A flashlight shines behind his head, making the rings in his ears glint. Eric. Surrounding him are other Dauntless, some of whom I have seen in the Pit, some of whom I have never seen before. Four stands among them.**

 **His eyes shift to mine and stay there. I stare back and forget that all around me the transfers are getting out of bed.**

 **"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" demands Eric. I snap out of my daze and slide out from beneath the blankets. I am glad I sleep fully clothed, because Christina stands next to our bunk wearing only a T-shirt, her long legs bare.**

My father pauses momentarily, embarrassed by having just read that.

"Why is Tris thinking about Christina's legs?" Uriah asks, smirking.

My father is shocked, and probably disgusted, but I can tell my mother is suppressing a laugh.

 **She folds her arms and stares at Eric. I wish, suddenly, that I could stare so boldly at someone with hardly any clothes on, but I would never be able to do that.**

 **"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," says Eric. "We're going on another field trip."**

 **I shove my feet into shoes and sprint, wincing, behind Christina on the way to the train. A drop of sweat rolls down the back of my neck as we run up the paths along the walls of the Pit, pushing past members on our way up. They don't seem surprised to see us. I wonder how many frantic, running people they see on a weekly basis.**

 **We make it to the tracks just behind the Dauntless-born initiates. Next to the tracks is a black pile. I make out a cluster of long gun barrels and trigger guards.**

 **"Are we going to shoot something?" Christina hisses in my ear.**

 **Next to the pile are boxes of what looks like ammunition. I inch closer to read one of the boxes. Written on it is "PAINTBALLS."**

 **I've never heard of them before, but the name is self-explanatory.**

"Okay, hold up: You had never heard of PAINTBALLS?" Christina says overdramatically.

"I don't see why that's such a huge deal" Will says, perplexed.

"First hamburgers, and now this! Is that kind of deprivation even legal?!" She continues, and Will bursts out laughing.

I laugh.

 **"Everyone grab a gun!" shouts Eric.**

 **We rush toward the pile. I am the closest to it, so I snatch the first gun I can find, which is heavy, but not too heavy for me to lift, and grab a box of paintballs. I shove the box in my pocket and sling the gun across my back so the strap crosses my chest.**

" **Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.**

 **Four checks his watch. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"**

 **"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" says Eric, shoving Four's shoulder.**

"You're an ass," Lynn tells Eric, matter-of-fact-ly.

"Yep," He smirks. Only _he_ would be proud of that...

 **A circle of light appears on my left, far away. It grows larger as it comes closer, shining against the side of Four's face, creating a shadow in the faint hollow beneath his cheekbone.**

 **He is the first to get on the train, and I run after him, not waiting for Christina or Will or Al to follow me. Four turns around as I fall into stride next to the car and holds out a hand. I grab his arm, and he pulls me in. Even the muscles in his forearm are taut, defined.**

 **I let go quickly, without looking at him, and sit down on the other side of the car.**

Tobias looks at me, and smiles "I wouldn't have minded if you held on for longer."  
I smile back at him.

 **Once everyone is in, Four speaks up.**

 **"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways, and Four grabs the side of the doorway for balance. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."**

 **"What do we get if we win?" someone shouts.**  
 **"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," says Four, raising an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."**

"Wasn't it Christina who shouted that?" Marlene asks

"Yes" Will says, and Christina smirks at him.

 **"Four and I will be your team captains," says Eric. He looks at Four. "Let's divide up transfers first, shall we?"**

 **I tilt my head back. If they're picking us, I will be chosen last; I can feel it.**

 **"You go first," Four says.**

 **Eric shrugs. "Edward."**

 **Four leans against the door frame and nods. The moonlight makes his eyes bright. He scans the group of transfer initiates briefly, without calculation, and says, "I want the Stiff."**

"You say that so nicely. Way to make her feel loved!" Zeke says, with a roll of his eyes.

"Eric was listening!" Tobias deffends himself.

"I have said it before, and I'll say it again," Lynn says. "Eric's an ass." We all laugh.

 **A faint undercurrent of laughter fills the car. Heat rushes into my cheeks. I don't know whether to be angry at the people laughing at me or flattered by the fact that he chose me first.**

 **"Got something to prove?" asks Eric, with his trademark smirk. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"**  
 **Four shrugs. "Something like that."**

 **Angry. I should definitely be angry. I scowl at my hands. Whatever Four's strategy is, it's based on the idea that I am weaker than the other initiates.**

"That's exactly the opposite of why I picked you." Tobias says, laughing a little.

 **And it gives me a bitter taste in my mouth. I have to prove him wrong—I have to.**

 **"Your turn," says Four.**

 **"Peter."**

 **"Christina."**

 **That throws a wrench in his strategy. Christina is not one of the weak ones.**

"Aww, thanks!"

I smile at her.

 **What exactly is he doing?**

"You didnt even consider the fact that _you_ were one of the strong ones?" Will asks.

"No," I say.

 **"Molly."**

 **"Will," says Four, biting his thumbnail.**

 **"Al."**

 **"Drew."**

 **"Last one left is Myra. So she's with me," says Eric. "Dauntless-born initiates next."**

 **I stop listening once they're finished with us. If Four isn't trying to prove something by choosing the weak, what is he doing? I look at each person he chooses. What do we have in common?**

 **Once they're halfway through the Dauntless-born initiates, I have an idea of what it is. With the exception of Will and a couple of the others, we all share the same body type: narrow shoulders, small frames. All the people on Eric's team are broad and strong. Just yesterday, Four told me I was fast. We will all be faster than Eric's team, which will probably be good for capture the flag—I haven't played before, but I know it's a game of speed rather than brute force. I cover a smile with my hand. Eric is more ruthless than Four, but Four is smarter.**

Eric scowls at that.

 **They finish choosing teams, and Eric smirks at Four.**

 **"Your team can get off second," says Eric.**

 **"Don't do me any favors," Four replies. He smiles a little. "You know I don't need them to win."**

 **"No, I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off," says Eric, biting down briefly on one of the rings in his lip. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."**

 **We all stand up. Al gives me a forlorn look, and I smile back in what I hope is a reassuring way. If any of the four of us had to end up on the same team as Eric, Peter, and Molly, at least it was him. They usually leave him alone.**

"Gee, I wonder why," Christina comments dryly.

 **The train is about to dip to the ground. I am determined to land on my feet.**

 **Just before I jump, someone shoves my shoulder, and I almost topple out of the train car. I don't look back to see who it is—Molly, Drew, or Peter, it doesn't matter which one.**

"What a jackass." Lynn says, in Peters direction.

 **Before they can try it again, I jump. This time I am ready for the momentum the train gives me, and I run a few steps to diffuse it but keep my balance.**

 **Fierce pleasure courses through me and I smile. It's a small accomplishment, but it makes me feel Dauntless.**

 **One of the Dauntless-born initiates touches Four's shoulder and asks, "When your team won, where did you put the flag?"**

 **"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene," he says coolly.**

"Yay! Me!" Marlene yells out excitedly.

 **"Come on, Four," she whines. She gives him a flirtatious smile. He brushes her hand off his arm, and for some reason, I find myself grinning.**  
 **"Navy Pier," another Dauntless-born initiate calls out. He is tall, with brown skin and dark eyes. Handsome.**

"Hey that's me!" Uriah says

"Tris is right," Marlene says with the same flirty smile "You are handsome"

Uriah grins proudly.

 **"My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel."**

 **"Let's go there, then," suggests Will.**

 **No one objects, so we walk east, toward the marsh that was once a lake. When I was young, I tried to imagine what it would look like as a lake, with no fence built into the mud to keep the city safe. But it is difficult to imagine that much water in one place.**

 **"We're close to Erudite headquarters, right?" asks Christina, bumping Will's shoulder with her own.**

 **"Yeah. It's south of here," he says. He looks over his shoulder, and for a second his expression is full of longing. Then it's gone.**

"I miss it," Will says. Nobody answers him. most are thinking of their old factions. I know I am...

 **I am less than a mile away from my brother. It has been a week since we were that close together. I shake my head a little to get the thought out of my mind. I can't think about him today, when I have to focus on making it through stage one. I can't think about him any day.**

Caleb offers me a small smile.

 **We walk across the bridge. We still need the bridges because the mud beneath them is too wet to walk on. I wonder how long it's been since the river dried up.**

 **Once we cross the bridge, the city changes. Behind us, most of the buildings were in use, and even if they weren't, they looked well-tended. In front of us is a sea of crumbling concrete and broken glass. The silence of this part of the city is eerie; it feels like a nightmare. It's hard to see where I'm going, because it's after midnight and all the city lights are off.**

 **Marlene takes out a flashlight and shines it at the street in front of us.**

 **"Scared of the dark, Mar?" the dark-eyed Dauntless-born initiate teases.**

 **"If you want to step on broken glass, Uriah, be my guest," she snaps. But she turns it off anyway.**

 **I have realized that part of being Dauntless is being willing to make things more difficult for yourself in order to be self-sufficient. There's nothing especially brave about wandering dark streets with no flashlight, but we are not supposed to need help, even from light. We are supposed to be capable of anything.**

 **I like that. Because there might come a day when there is no flashlight, there is no gun, there is no guiding hand. And I want to be ready for it.**

"Poetic." Caleb comments

"Attractive, isn't it?" Tobias says, and grins when Caleb looks away, uncomfortable. Old habbits never change.

 **The buildings end just before the marsh. A strip of land juts out into the marsh, and rising from it is a giant white wheel with dozens of red passenger cars dangling from it at regular intervals. The Ferris wheel.**

 **"Think about it. People used to ride that thing. For fun," says Will, shaking his head.**

 **"They must have been Dauntless," I say.**

 **"Yeah, but a lame version of Dauntless." Christina laughs. "A Dauntless Ferris wheel wouldn't have cars. You would just hang on tight with your hands, and good luck to you."**

"I'd totally do that!" Lynn grins.

"I'll join you," Eric says quietly.

 **We walk down the side of the pier. All the buildings on my left are empty, their signs torn down and their windows closed, but it is a clean kind of emptiness. Whoever left these places left them by choice and at their leisure. Some places in the city are not like that.**

 **"Dare you to jump into the marsh," says Christina to Will.**

 **"You first."**

 **"** I would've just pushed both of you in." Lynn says

"That wouldn't have been kind." My father says

"So? This isn't Abnegation," Lynn replies with a scowl.

 **We reach the carousel. Some of the horses are scratched and weathered, their tails broken off or their saddles chipped. Four takes the flag out of his pocket.**

 **"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location," he says. "I suggest you take this time to formulate** **a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."**

 **He is right about that. What good is a prepared body if you have a scattered mind?**

 **Will takes the flag from Four.**

 **"Some people should stay here and guard, and some people should go out and scout the other team's location," Will says.**

 **"Yeah? You think?" Marlene plucks the flag from Will's fingers. "Who put you in charge, transfer?"**

"Ouch," Will makes a fake hurt look.

 **"No one," says Will. "But someone's got to do it."**

 **"Maybe we should develop a more defensive strategy. Wait for them to come to us, then take them out," suggests Christina.**

 **"That's the sissy way out," Uriah says. "I vote we go all out. Hide the flag well enough that they can't find it."**

 **Everyone bursts into the conversation at once, their voices louder with each passing second. Christina defends Will's plan; the Dauntless-born initiates vote for offense; everyone argues about who should make the decision. Four sits down on the edge of the carousel, leaning against a plastic horse's foot. His eyes lift to the sky, where there are no stars, only a round moon peeking through a thin layer of clouds. The muscles in his arms are relaxed; his hand rests on the back of his neck. He looks almost comfortable, holding that gun to his shoulder.**

 **I close my eyes briefly. Why does he distract me so easily? I need to focus.**

 **What would I say if I could shout above the sniping behind me? We can't act until we know where the other team is. They could be anywhere within a two-mile radius, although I can rule out the empty marsh as an option. The best way to find them is not to argue about how to search for them, or how many to send out in a search party.**

 **It's to climb as high as possible.**

"Yeah, thanks for that, Tris," Tobias sighs. They're about to hear about one of his fears. I hold is hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

 **I look over my shoulder to make sure no one is watching. None of them look at me, so I walk toward the Ferris wheel with light, quiet footsteps, pressing my gun to my back with one hand to keep it from making noise.**

 **When I stare up at the Ferris wheel from the ground, my throat feels tighter. It is taller than I thought, so tall I can barely see the cars swinging at the top. The only good thing about its height is that it is built to support weight. If I climb it, it won't collapse beneath me.**

 **My heart pumps faster. Will I really risk my life for this—to win a game the Dauntless like to play?**

"Yeah!" Uriah laughs.

 **It's so dark I can barely see them, but when I stare at the huge, rusted supports holding the wheel in place, I see the rungs of a ladder. Each support is only as wide as my shoulders, and there are no railings to hold me in, but climbing a ladder is better than climbing the spokes of the wheel.**

 **I grab a rung. It's rusty and thin and feels like it might crumble in my hands. I put my weight on the lowest rung to test it and jump to make sure it will hold me up. The movement hurts my ribs, and I wince.**

 **"Tris," a low voice says behind me. I don't know why it doesn't startle me. Maybe because I am becoming Dauntless, and mental readiness is something I am supposed to develop. Maybe because his voice is low and smooth and almost soothing. Whatever the reason, I look over my shoulder. Four stands behind me with his gun slung across his back, just like mine.**

 **"Yes?" I say.**

 **"I came to find out what you think you're doing."**

 **"I'm seeking higher ground," I say. "I don't think I'm doing anything."**

 **I see his smile in the dark. "All right. I'm coming."**

 **I pause a second. He doesn't look at me the way Will, Christina, and Al sometimes do—like I am too small and too weak to be of any use, and they pity me for it.**

"We dont!" Will and Christina both say in unison.

"You used to," I tell them.

"sorry..." they both mumble, looking at the ground.

 **But if he insists on coming with me, it is probably because he doubts me.**

Tobias just sighs and shakes his head.

 **"I'll be fine," I say.**

 **"Undoubtedly," he replies. I don't hear the sarcasm, but I know it's there. It has to be.**

 **I climb, and when I'm a few feet off the ground, he comes after me. He moves faster than I do, and soon his hands find the rungs that my feet leave.**

 **"So tell me…," he says quietly as we climb. He sounds breathless. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is? The game, I mean, not the climbing."**

 **I stare down at the pavement. It seems far away now, but I'm not even a third of the way up. Above me is a platform, just below the center of the wheel. That's my destination. I don't even think about how I will climb back down. The breeze that brushed my cheeks earlier now presses against my side. The higher we go, the stronger it will get. I need to be ready.**

 **"Learning about strategy," I say. "Teamwork, maybe."**

 **"Teamwork," he repeats. A laugh hitches in his throat. It sounds like a panicked breath.**

 **"Maybe not," I say. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority."**

 **The wind is stronger now. I press closer to the white support so I don't fall, but that makes it hard to climb. Below me the carousel looks small. I can barely see my team under the awning. Some of them are missing—a search party must have left.**

 **Four says, "It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be."**

"Why isn't it now?" Caleb asks.

"Look who is in leadership now," I say with a glance towards Eric. He has the grace to look away.

 **But I'm not really listening, because the height is dizzying. My hands ache from holding the rungs, and my legs are shaking, but I'm not sure why. It isn't the height that scares me—the height makes me feel alive with energy, every organ and vessel and muscle in my body singing at the same pitch.**

 **Then I realize what it is. It's him. Something about him makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.**

 **My hand almost misses the next rung.**

 **"Now tell me…," he says through a bursting breath, "what do you think learning strategy has to do with…bravery?"**

"Oh my god!" Zeke squeals. "You're afraid of heights!"

"Out of all the fears in the world, which you only have four of, _heights_ is one of them?" Uriah laughs.

"I always wondered why you didn't come with us to the zipline!" Marlene giggles.

"Please just read, Andrew," Tobias says quietly, blushing. My father does.

 **The question reminds me that he is my instructor, and I am supposed to learn something from this. A cloud passes over the moon, and the light shifts across my hands.**

 **"It…it prepares you to act," I say finally. "You learn strategy so you can use it." I hear him breathing behind me, loud and fast. "Are you all right, Four?"**  
 **"Are you human, Tris? Being up this high…" He gulps for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?"**

 **I look over my shoulder at the ground. If I fall now, I will die. But I don't think I will fall.**

 **A gust of air presses against my left side, throwing my body weight to the right. I gasp and cling to the rungs, my balance shifting. Four's cold hand clamps around one of my hips, one of his fingers finding a strip of bare skin just under the hem of my T-shirt.**

"...I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Will says, uncomfortable.

"Oh, like you wouldn't have done the same thing?" Christina says.

 **He squeezes, steadying me and pushing me gently to the left, restoring my balance.**

 **Now I can't breathe. I pause, staring at my hands, my mouth dry. I feel the ghost of where his hand was, his fingers long and narrow.**  
 **"You okay?" he asks quietly.**

 **"Yes," I say, my voice strained.**

 **I keep climbing, silently, until I reach the platform. Judging by the blunted ends of metal rods, it used to have railings, but it doesn't anymore. I sit down and scoot to the end of it so Four has somewhere to sit. Without thinking, I put my legs over the side. Four, however, crouches and presses his back to the metal support, breathing heavily.**

 **"You're afraid of heights," I say. "How do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"**

 **"I ignore my fear," he says. "When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist."**

 **I stare at him for a second. I can't help it. To me there's a difference between not being afraid and acting in spite of fear, as he does.**

 **I have been staring at him too long.**

 **"What?" he says quietly.**

 **"Nothing."**

 **I look away from him and toward the city. I have to focus. I climbed up here for a reason.**

 **The city is pitch-black, but even if it wasn't, I wouldn't be able to see very far. A building stands in my way.**

 **"We're not high enough," I say. I look up. Above me is a tangle of white bars, the wheel's scaffolding. If I climb carefully, I can wedge my feet between the supports and the crossbars and stay secure. Or as secure as possible.**

 **"I'm going to climb," I say, standing up. I grab one of the bars above my head and pull myself up. Shooting pains go through my bruised sides, but I ignore them.**

"You trying to torture him?" Lynn asks.

"He didn't have to come!" I deffend.

 **"For God's sake, Stiff," he says.**

 **"You don't have to follow me," I say, staring at the maze of bars above me. I shove my foot onto the place where two bars cross and push myself up, grabbing another bar in the process. I sway for a second, my heart beating so hard I can't feel anything else. Every thought I have condenses into that heartbeat, moving at the same rhythm.**

 **"Yes, I do," he says.**

 **This is crazy, and I know it. A fraction of an inch of mistake, half a second of hesitation, and my life is over. Heat tears through my chest, and I smile as I grab the next bar. I pull myself up, my arms** shaking, and force my leg under me so I'm standing on another bar. When I feel steady, I look down at Four. But instead of seeing him, I see straight to the ground.

 **I can't breathe.**

 **I imagine my body plummeting, smacking into the bars as it falls down, and my limbs at broken angles on the pavement, just like Rita's sister when she didn't make it onto the roof. Four grabs a bar with each hand and pulls himself up, easy, like he's sitting up in bed. But he is not comfortable or natural here—every muscle in his arm stands out. It is a stupid thing for me to think when I am one hundred feet off the ground.**

 **I grab another bar, find another place to wedge my foot. When I look at the city again, the building isn't in my way. I'm high enough to see the skyline.**

 **Most of the buildings are black against a navy sky, but the red lights at the top of the Hub are lit up. They blink half as fast as my heartbeat.**

 **Beneath the buildings, the streets look like tunnels. For a few seconds I see only a dark blanket over the land in front of me, just faint differences between building and sky and street and ground. Then I see a tiny pulsing light on the ground.**

 **"See that?" I say, pointing.**

 **Four stops climbing when he's right behind me and looks over my shoulder, his chin next to my head. His breaths flutter against my ear, and I feel shaky again, like I did when I was climbing the ladder.**

 **"Yeah," he says. A smile spreads over his face.**

 **"It's coming from the park at the end of the pier," he says. "Figures. It's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough."**

 **"Okay," I say. I look over my shoulder at him. We are so close I forget where I am; instead I notice that the corners of his mouth turn down naturally, just like mine, and that he has a scar on his chin.**

"How'd you get that scar?" Uriah asks

"Don't even try dude. I've been trying to get him to answer that question for a long time now." Zeke says

"You could ask Marcus." Tobias says, pretending not to care.

Marcus' eyes narrow slightly; He's not happy with what Tobias has just mentioned, even though no one else seems to notice.

 **"Um," I say. I clear my throat. "Start climbing down. I'll follow you."**

 **Four nods and steps down. His leg is so long that he finds a place for his foot easily and guides his body between the bars. Even in darkness, I see that his hands are bright red and shaking.**

 **I step down with one foot, pressing my weight into one of the crossbars. The bar creaks beneath me and comes loose, clattering against half a dozen** **bars on the way down and bouncing on the pavement. I'm dangling from the scaffolding with my toes swinging in midair. A strangled gasp escapes me.**

 **"Four!"**

Everyone gasps.

 **I try to find another place to put my foot, but the nearest foothold is a few feet away, farther than I can stretch. My hands are sweaty. I remember wiping them on my slacks before the Choosing Ceremony, before the aptitude test, before every important moment, and suppress a scream. I will slip. I will slip.**

 **"Hold on!" he shouts. "Just hold on, I have an idea."**

 **He keeps climbing down. He's moving in the wrong direction; he should be coming toward me, not going away from me. I stare at my hands, which are wrapped around the narrow bar so tightly my knuckles are white. My fingers are dark red, almost purple. They won't last long.**

 **I won't last long.**

 **I squeeze my eyes shut. Better not to look. Better to pretend that none of this exists. I hear Four's sneakers squeak against metal and rapid footsteps on ladder rungs.**

 **"Four!" I yell. Maybe he left. Maybe he abandoned me. Maybe this is a test of my strength, of my bravery. I breathe in my nose and out my mouth. I count my breaths to calm down. One, two. In, out. Come on, Four is all I can think. Come on, do something.**

 **Then I hear something wheeze and creak. The bar I'm holding shudders, and I scream through my clenched teeth as I fight to keep my grip.**

 **The wheel is moving.**

 **Air wraps around my ankles and wrists as the wind gushes up, like a geyser. I open my eyes. I'm moving—toward the ground. I laugh, giddy with hysteria as the ground comes closer and closer. But I'm picking up speed. If I don't drop at the right time, the moving cars and metal scaffolding will drag at my body and carry me with them, and then I will really die.**

 **Every muscle in my body tenses as I hurtle toward the ground. When I can see the cracks in the sidewalk, I drop, and my body slams into the ground, feet first. My legs collapse beneath me and I pull my arms in, rolling as fast as I can to the side. The cement scrapes my face, and I turn just in time to see a car bearing down on me, like a giant shoe about to crush me. I roll again, and the bottom of the car skims my shoulder.**

 **I'm safe.**

 **I press my palms to my face. I don't try to get up. If I did, I'm sure I would just fall back down. I hear footsteps, and Four's hands wrap around my wrists. I let him pry my hands from my eyes.**

 **He encloses one of my hands perfectly between two of his. The warmth of his skin overwhelms the ache in my fingers from holding the bars.**  
 **"You all right?" he asks, pressing our hands together.**

 **"Yeah."**

 **He starts to laugh.**

 **After a second, I laugh too. With my free hand, I push myself to a sitting position. I am aware of how little space there is between us—six inches at most.**

 **That space feels charged with electricity. I feel like it should be smaller.**

 **He stands, pulling me up with him. The wheel is still moving, creating a wind that tosses my hair back.**

 **"You could have told me that the Ferris wheel still worked," I say. I try to sound casual. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."**

 **"I would have, if I had known," he says. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag."**

 **Four hesitates for a moment and then takes my arm, his fingertips pressing to the inside of my elbow. In other factions, he would give me time to recover, but he is Dauntless, so he smiles at me and starts toward the carousel, where our team members guard our flag. And I half run, half limp beside him. I still feel weak, but my mind is awake, especially with his hand on me.**

 **Christina is perched on one of the horses, her long legs crossed and her hand around the pole holding the plastic animal upright. Our flag is behind her, a glowing triangle in the dark. Three Dauntless-born initiates stand among the other worn and dirty animals. One of them has his hand on a horse's head, and a scratched horse eye stares at me between his fingers. Sitting on the edge of the carousel is an older Dauntless, scratching her quadruple-pierced eyebrow with her thumb.**

 **"Where'd the others go?" asks Four.**

 **He looks as excited as I feel, his eyes wide with energy.**

 **"Did you guys turn on the wheel?" the older girl says. "What the hell are you thinking? You might as well have just shouted 'Here we are! Come and get us!'" She shakes her head. "If I lose again this year, the shame will be unbearable. Three years in a row?"**

"Ha! You swore!" Lynn points out

"Only because it was written there." My father says, half defending himself

Marlene just shrugs "I've heard worse- Especially from Lynn."

 **"The wheel doesn't matter," says Four. "We know where they are."**

 **"We?" says Christina, looking from Four to me.**

 **"Yes, while the rest of you were twiddling your thumbs, Tris climbed the Ferris wheel to look for the other team," he says.**

 **"What do we do now, then?" asks one of the Dauntless-born initiates through a yawn.**

 **Four looks at me. Slowly the eyes of the other initiates, including Christina, migrate from him to me. I tense my shoulders, about to shrug and say I don't know, and then an image of the pier stretching out beneath me comes into my mind. I have an idea.**

 **"Split in half," I say. "Four of us go to the right side of the pier, three to the left. The other team is in the park at the end of the pier, so the group of four will charge as the group of three sneaks behind the other team to get the flag."**

 **Christina looks at me like she no longer recognizes me. I don't blame her.**

 **"Sounds good," says the older girl, clapping her hands together. "Let's get this night over with, shall we?"**

 **Christina joins me in the group going to the right, along with Uriah, whose smile looks white against his skin's bronze. I didn't notice before, but he has a tattoo of a snake behind his ear. I stare at its tail curling around his earlobe for a moment, but then Christina starts running and I have to follow her.**

"Why did you get that tattoo?" Marlene asks

"We had a bet. He lost." Zeke says

"What was the bet?"

"That he couldn't get you to-"

"Shut up!"' Uriah says, cutting Zeke off "Lets just get back to the story!"

 **I have to run twice as fast to match my short strides to her long ones. As I run, I realize that only one of us will get to touch the flag, and it won't matter that it was my plan and my information that got us to it if I'm not the one who grabs it. Though I can hardly breathe as it is, I run faster, and I'm on Christina's heels. I pull my gun around my body, holding my finger over the trigger.**

 **We reach the end of the pier, and I clamp my mouth shut to keep my loud breaths in. We slow down so our footsteps aren't as loud, and I look for the blinking light again. Now that I'm on the ground, it's bigger and easier to see. I point, and Christina nods, leading the way toward it.**

 **Then I hear a chorus of yells, so loud they make me jump. I hear puffs of air as paintballs go flying and splats as they find their targets. Our team has charged, the other team runs to meet us, and the flag is almost unguarded. Uriah takes aim and shoots the last guard in the thigh. The guard, a short girl with purple hair, throws her gun to the ground in a tantrum.**

 **I sprint to catch up to Christina. The flag hangs from a tree branch, high above my head. I reach for it, and so does Christina.**

 **"Come on, Tris," she says. "You're already the hero of the day. And you know you can't reach it anyway."**

Christina winces. "I am so, so sorry..."

"Its okay," I tell her.

 **She gives me a patronizing look, the way people sometimes look at children when they act too adult, and snatches the flag from the branch. Without looking at me, she turns and gives a whoop of victory. Uriah's voice joins hers and then I hear a chorus of yells in the distance.**

 **Uriah claps my shoulder, and I try to forget about the look Christina gave me. Maybe she's right; I've already proved myself today. I do not want to be greedy; I do not want to be like Eric, terrified of other people's strength.**

 **The shouts of triumph become infectious, and I lift my voice to join in, running toward my teammates. Christina holds the flag up high, and everyone clusters around her, grabbing her arm to lift the flag even higher. I can't reach her, so I stand off to the side, grinning.**

 **A hand touches my shoulder.**

 **"Well done," Four says quietly.**

 **"I can't believe I missed it!" Will says again, shaking his head. Wind coming through the doorway of the train car blows his hair in every direction.**

 **"You were performing the very important job of staying out of our way," says Christina, beaming.**

 **Al groans. "Why did I have to be on the other team?"**  
 **"Because life's not fair, Albert. And the world is conspiring against you," says Will. "Hey, can I see the flag again?"**

 **Peter, Molly, and Drew sit across from the members in the corner. Their chests and backs are splattered with blue and pink paint, and they look dejected.**

 **They speak quietly, sneaking looks at the rest of us, especially Christina. That is the benefit of not holding the flag right now—I am no one's target. Or at least, no more than usual.**

 **"So you climbed the Ferris wheel, huh," says Uriah. He stumbles across the car and sits next to me. Marlene, the girl with the flirty smile, follows him.**

 **"Yes," I say.**

 **"Pretty smart of you. Like…Erudite smart," Marlene says. "I'm Marlene."**

 **"Tris," I say. At home, being compared to an Erudite would be an insult, but she says it like a compliment.**

 **"Yeah, I know who you are," she says. "The first jumper tends to stick in your head."**

 **It has been years since I jumped off a building in my Abnegation uniform; it has been decades.**

"Huh?" Zeke looks confused.

"Its a metaphor, dude." Will explains.

 **Uriah takes one of the paintballs from his gun and squeezes it between his thumb and index finger. The train lurches to the left, and Uriah falls against me, his fingers pinching the paintball until a stream of pink, foul-smelling paint sprays on my face.**

 **Marlene collapses in giggles. I wipe some of the paint from my face, slowly, and then smear it on his cheek. The scent of fish oil wafts through the train car.**

 **"Ew!" He squeezes the ball at me again, but the opening is at the wrong angle, and the paint sprays into his mouth i** **nstead. He coughs and makes exaggerated gagging sounds.**

 **I wipe my face with my sleeve, laughing so hard my stomach hurts.**

 **If my entire life is like this, loud laughter and bold action and the kind of exhaustion you feel after a hard but satisfying day, I will be content. As Uriah** **scrapes his tongue with his fingertips, I realize that all I have to do is get through initiation, and that life will be mine.**

"That's all?" Will says.

"Yes." My father replies.

"I want cake!" Uriah yells out.

"Me too." Marlene says, "Lets go to the kitchen and try to find some."

When they don't return for a few minutes, Lynn speaks up.

"I wonder what they're doing…"

"Probably making out." Peter says, smirking.

"Thanks for that disgusting image! I'm going to throw up now." Zeke says.


	16. Chapter 16

Marlene and Uriah come back in a minute later, faces flushing. Lynn had gone to find them, and, looking at her raised eyebrow, I guessed what she had walked in on.

"Tris's turn to read!" Zeke says enthusiastically, obviously trying to distract himself from the images I assume are in his head right now. Honestly, I could do with a distraction too. I'm still not entirely comfortable with any... intimate thoughts, though heaven knows I've had some. And everyone else will know it.

I begin the chapter.

 **The next morning, when I trudge into the training room, yawning, a large target stands at one end of the room, and next to the door is a table with knives strewn across it. Target practice again. At least it won't hurt.**

"Hah!" Will barks humourlessly. "That's what you think!"

"Oh dear," Caleb sighs. "Please say nobody gets stabbed?"

"Well..." I reply, not really answering. He groans in response.

"You're all so..." He trails off.

"Brutal?" Peter suggests. "Thank you," he does a mock bow as my brother nods.

 **Eric stands in the middle of the room, his posture so rigid it looks like someone replaced his spine with a metal rod. The sight of him makes me feel like all the air in the room is heavier, bearing down on me. At least when he was slouched against a wall, I could pretend he wasn't here. Today I can't pretend.**

I notice he has a smirk on his face. As usual.

 **"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," Eric says. "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives." His voice is deeper than usual. "And pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them."**

"Why Four?" Christina asks. "Why not you?"

"Knew he wouldn't be able to throw half as well as me," Tobias has a half smirk.

"Oh yeah! You _crushed_ him at that!" Zeke laughs gleefully, paying no attention to Eric's dangerous scowl.

"Wasn't the only thing you were better than him at," Marlene adds, shooting a sweet smile to the enraged leader.

"Just read the damn book, Tris!" He snarled, and I can't help but notice that he called me Tris. Not Stiff, like he always had. Maybe... _no_ he is _not_ changing. Eric is a sadistic, evil man with no conscience. I keep reading, trying not to distort the image I have of him in my mind. Ruthless, nasty and... broken.

 **At first no one moves.**

 **"Now!"**

 **We scramble for daggers. They aren't as heavy as guns, but they still feel strange in my hands, like I am not allowed to hold them.**

 **"He's in a bad mood today," mumbles Christina.**

 **"Is he ever in a good mood?" I murmur back.**

"Nope!" Uriah laughs.

Everyone seems braver now that Eric has no authority, I notice. All he can do is... Well, anything - but only once we get back to Dauntless. But I don't think that'll be any time soon.

 **But I know what she means. Judging by the poisonous look Eric gives Four when he isn't paying attention, last night's loss must have bothered Eric more than he let on. Winning capture the flag is a matter of pride, and pride is important to the Dauntless. More important than reason or sense.**

"My mood had nothing to do with the game," Eric tells us with a cold glare.

"Well, what then?" Christina asks.

"None of your business, Candor!" He spits.

"Christina," She says, enunciating.

"Just shut up, I don't care what your name is!" He is half shouting now, and everybody else is silent. "I don't care about any of you!" His gaze lingers on me, and I wonder why. I know he doesn't care about me, He's never shown anything to prove otherwise. Saying that, I've never seen him do anything to show he cares about anyone.

"Read!" He snaps. I comply.

 **I watch Four's arm as he throws a knife. The next time he throws, I watch his stance. He hits the target each time, exhaling as he releases the knife.**

"Smart," Caleb acknowledges, but nobody answers him, still slightly shocked by Eric's explosion.

 **Eric orders, "Line up!"**

 **Haste, I think, will not help. My mother told me that when I was learning how to knit. I have to think of this as a mental exercise, not a physical exercise. So I spend the first few minutes practicing without a knife, finding the right stance, learning the right arm motion.**

Everyone bursts into peals of laughter. Even my mother seems lightly amused.

"What?" I ask, voicing my confusion.

"You compared knife throwing... to knitting?" Peter snorts with mirth.

"Oh, shut up!" I say, though I'm smiling. I begin reading again, speaking over their cackles.

 **Eric paces too quickly behind us.**

 **"I think the Stiff's taken too many hits to the head!" remarks Peter, a few people down. "Hey, Stiff! Remember what a knife is?"**

"Asshole," Lynn says - again. And I agree.

 **Ignoring him, I practice the throw again with a knife in hand but don't release it. I shut out Eric's pacing, and Peter's jeering, and the nagging feeling that Four is staring at me, and throw the knife. It spins end over end, slamming into the board. The blade doesn't stick, but I'm the first person to hit the target.**

 **I smirk as Peter misses again. I can't help myself.**

 **"Hey, Peter," I say. "Remember what a target is?"**

"Woo! Go _Tris!"_ Marlene says with joy ** _._**

"I suddenly _really_ wish that the Dauntless borns were trained with the initiates," Lynn grins.

Peter just scowls, a face to rival Eric's. Almost.

 **Next to me, Christina snorts, and her next knife hits the target.**

"Your comeback was just so inspirational," she smiles.

 **A half hour later, Al is the only initiate who hasn't hit the target yet. His knives clatter to the floor, or bounce off the wall. While the rest of us approach the board to collect our weapons, he hunts the floor for his.**

"Oh no..." My father sighs. "Why do I sense this is significant?"

 **The next time he tries and misses, Eric marches toward him and demands, "How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?"**

Everybody turns to glare at him at the same time. He merely shrugs.

 **Al's face turns red. He throws another knife, and this one sails a few feet to the right of the target. It spins and hits the wall.**

 **"What was that, initiate?" says Eric quietly, leaning closer to Al.**

 **I bite my lip. This isn't good.**

"Just my thought!" Marcus comments.

 **"It—it slipped," says Al.**

 **"Well, I think you should go get it," Eric says. He scans the other initiates' faces—everyone has stopped throwing again—and says, "Did I tell you to stop?"**

" _What_!?" All the people who didn't witness the event exclaim.

"You aren't serious?" Marcus asks.

"I stand by my decision," Eric just says.

I read, anxious to get past this part quickly.

 **Knives start to hit the board. We have all seen Eric angry before, but this is different. The look in his eyes is almost rabid.**

He raises an eyebrow at me.

 **"Go get it?" Al's eyes are wide. "But everyone's still throwing."**

 **"And?"**

 **"And I don't want to get hit."**

 **"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you."**

"Ouch," Lynn says.

 **Eric smiles a little, but his eyes stay cruel. "Go get your knife."**

 **Al doesn't usually object to anything the Dauntless tell us to do. I don't think he's afraid to; he just knows that objecting is useless. This time Al sets his wide jaw. He's reached the limits of his compliance.**

 **"No," he says.**

 **"Why not?" Eric's beady eyes fix on Al's face. "Are you afraid?"**

 **"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" says Al. "Yes, I am!"**

At this point, nobody dares breathe.

 **Honesty is his mistake. Not his refusal, which Eric might have accepted.**

"Hm... Maybe," He tells us. "Maybe not. He was really getting on my nerves."

"Thought we should all call him a hero?" I say with clenched teeth. "That's what you said to us!"

"Well, I was lying. He was a coward."

I don't say anything, because I honestly agree. Tobias takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. It is reassuring.

 **"Everyone stop!" Eric shouts.**

 **The knives stop, and so does all conversation. I hold my small dagger tightly.**

 **"Clear out of the ring." Eric looks at Al. "All except you."**

"What... Why?" Caleb stutters. I shake my head.

 **I drop the dagger and it hits the dusty floor with a thud. I follow the other initiates to the edge of the room, and they inch in front of me, eager to see what makes my stomach turn: Al, facing Eric's wrath.**

 **"Stand in front of the target," says Eric.**

 **Al's big hands shake. He walks back to the target.**

 **"Hey, Four." Eric looks over his shoulder. "Give me a hand here, huh?"**

 **Four scratches one of his eyebrows with a knife point and approaches Eric. He has dark circles under his eyes and a tense set to his mouth—he's as tired as we are.**

"Was up half the night thinking of you," he whispers.

"Oh really?" He hums to confirm, and I see Zeke look around for a pillow to throw at us out of the corner of my eye, so I start reading again quickly. Thought it seems like we have all the cushions anyway, and Christina and Will.

 **"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives," Eric says to Al, "until you learn not to flinch."**

"What?" My mother says, shocked.

 **"Is this really necessary?" says Four. He sounds bored, but he doesn't look bored. His face and body are tense, alert.**

 **I squeeze my hands into fists. No matter how casual Four sounds, the question is a challenge. And Four doesn't often challenge Eric directly.**

 **At first Eric stares at Four in silence. Four stares back. Seconds pass and my fingernails bite my palms.**

 **"I have the authority here, remember?" Eric says, so quietly I can barely hear him. "Here, and everywhere else."**

"Not here!" Lynn smirks.

 **Color rushes into Four's face, though his expression does not change. His grip on the knives tightens and his knuckles turn white as he turns to face Al.**

 **I look from Al's wide, dark eyes to his shaking hands to the determined set of Four's jaw. Anger bubbles in my chest, and bursts from my mouth: "Stop it."**

"Tris...!" Caleb says warningly, like he can stop it.

"I stand by my comment," Christina says to me. "You _do_ have a death wish!" I laugh lightly.

 **Four turns the knife in his hand, his fingers moving painstakingly over the metal edge. He gives me such a hard look that I feel like he's turning me to stone. I know why. I am stupid for speaking up while Eric is here; I am stupid for speaking up at all.**

"Yep," Will agrees.

 **"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," I say. "It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice."**

"Ooh!" Everybody choruses.

"Shots fired!" Uriah laughs.

 **"Then it should be easy for you," Eric says. "If you're willing to take his place."**

"Jesus, Beatrice!" Marcus cries.

"Tris!" I scowl. I hate him, _Oh_ , how I hate him.

 **The last thing I want to do is stand in front of that target, but I can't back down now. I didn't leave myself the option. I weave through the crowd of initiates, and someone shoves my shoulder.**

 **"There goes your pretty face," hisses Peter. "Oh, wait. You don't have one."**

"That's it!" Lynn shouts, as she leaps up, bounding across the room before Marlene races to hold her back. " _No_! Let me hit him, oh, _please_ let me hit him!" She begs.

Tobias leaps up to help Marlene, as does Uriah. Tobias whispers something in her ear, that I assume was an insult to Peter, because Lynn laughs a little and allows Marlene and Uriah drag her back to her seat.

Peter just smiles at her like butter wouldn't melt.

 **I recover my balance and walk toward Al. He nods at me. I try to smile encouragingly, but I can't manage it. I stand in front of the board, and my head doesn't even reach the center of the target, but it doesn't matter. I look at Four's knives: one in his right hand, two in his left hand.**

 **My throat is dry. I try to swallow, and then look at Four. He is never sloppy. He won't hit me. I'll be fine.**

"Glad you were so confident," He says to me. "Not that I really enforced that confidence..."

"I understand why you did it," I tell him, kissing his cheek.

 **I tip my chin up. I will not flinch. If I flinch, I prove to Eric that this is not as easy as I said it was; I prove that I'm a coward.**

 **"If you flinch," Four says, slowly, carefully, "Al takes your place. Understand?"**

 **I nod.**

 **Four's eyes are still on mine when he lifts his hand, pulls his elbow back, and throws the knife. It is just a flash in the air, and then I hear a thud. The knife is buried in the board, half a foot away from my cheek. I close my eyes. Thank God.**

 **"You about done, Stiff?" asks Four.**

 **I remember Al's wide eyes and his quiet sobs at night and shake my head. "No."**

 **"Eyes open, then." He taps the spot between his eyebrows.**

My family all glare at him like he had just committed murder.

"I had to!" He says.

 **I stare at him, pressing my hands to my sides so no one can see them shake. He passes a knife from his left hand to his right hand, and I see nothing but his eyes as the second knife hits the target above my head. This one is closer than the last one—I feel it hovering over my skull.**

 **"Come on, Stiff," he says. "Let someone else stand there and take it."**

 **Why is he trying to goad me into giving up? Does he want me to fail?**

"Sorry," I say to him.

 **"Shut up, Four!"**

Everyone chuckles.

"So bold!" Christina shakes her head.

 **I hold my breath as he turns the last knife in his hand. I see a glint in his eyes as he pulls his arm back and lets the knife fly. It comes straight at me, spinning, blade over handle. My body goes rigid. This time, when it hits the board, my ear stings, and blood tickles my skin. I touch my ear. He nicked it.**

 **And judging by the look he gives me, he did it on purpose.**

"You did _what_ to her?" Caleb exclaims.

"You cut _my daughter_ and expect us to allow you to _date_ her? My father says incredulously. My mother puts a calming hand on his shoulder.

"He would have been throwing them at her all day, if not," She tells him. She understands.

My father takes a deep breath and then nods at me to keep going, though I see Caleb is still giving him the evil eye.

 **"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is," says Eric, his voice smooth, "but I think that's enough for today."**

 **He squeezes my shoulder. His fingers feel dry and cold, and the look he gives me claims me, like he's taking ownership of what I did. I don't return Eric's smile. What I did had nothing to do with him.**

 **"I should keep my eye on you," he adds.**

"You probably should," I agree coldly, like he had just said it to me.

"I still do," He says, his face showing an emotion that I cant quite place...

 **Fear prickles inside me, in my chest and in my head and in my hands. I feel like the word "DIVERGENT" is branded on my forehead, and if he looks at me long enough, he'll be able to read it. But he just lifts his hand from my shoulder and keeps walking.**

 **Four and I stay behind. I wait until the room is empty and the door is shut before looking at him again. He walks toward me.**

 **"Is your—" he begins.**

 **"You did that on purpose!" I shout.**

"He was about to apologise, Tris!" Will shakes his head, exasperated. "How did you get him?"

"I have no idea," I reply. "He's too good for me."

"He _stabbed_ you, are you _insane?_ " Caleb looks at me incredulously.

"No, he's a good man - despite his upbringing," I cant help but add, with a glance towards Marcus. Tobias nudges me, and glares, worried that I've revealed to much. Which I probably had. "Sorry," I add.

"No, carry on! I want to know more about Four's background!" Uriah bounces on his seat excitedly.

"Yeah! You're always so secretive!" Lynn adds.

"For good reason," He says sternly.

"Leave him alone," Marlene says. "If he doesn't want to tell, he doesn't have to!"

"But-" Will starts and then stops, staring into the defiant face of Marlene.

"Thanks, Mar," Tobias says.

"Again - sorry," I whisper. He just smiles and shakes his head, telling me its okay.

 **"Yes, I did," he says quietly. "And you should thank me for helping you."**

 **I grit my teeth. "Thank you? You almost stabbed my ear, and you spent the entire time taunting me. Why should I thank you?"**

 **"You know, I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on!"**

 **He glares at me, and even when he glares, his eyes look thoughtful. Their shade of blue is peculiar, so dark it is almost black, with a small patch of lighter blue on the left iris, right next to the corner of his eye.**

 **"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to Eric how tough you are? That you're sadistic, just like he is?"**

"That must have hurt," Christina says sourly. "Being compared to that ass."

"Sorry," I find myself saying again.

 **"I am not sadistic." He doesn't yell. I wish he would yell. It would scare me less. He leans his face close to mine, which reminds me of lying inches away from the attack dog's fangs in the aptitude test, and says, "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"**

 **He crosses the room and slams the point of a knife so hard into the table that it sticks there, handle toward the ceiling.**

 **"I—" I start to shout, but he's already gone. I scream, frustrated, and wipe some of the blood from my ear.**

"The end," I say, passing the book to Tobias. "Your turn!"


	17. Chapter 17

"Who wants to read?"

"You know what?" Christina says, after a long period of silence. "I don't think anyone does. Who wants to do something else?"

"What are you suggesting...?" Caleb asks suspiciously.

"A drinking game!" She declares. "Never Have I Ever!"

The Dauntless all cheer, my mother smiles slightly, my father frowns, Marcus scowls, and Caleb sighs. I somehow don't thing the Abnegation are too excited about this game. And I have to admit, I'm not thrilled either. I've never participated in a drinking game. Or drinking at all, for that matter...

"It's a fun game," Tobias whispers in my ear, catching on to my distress. "Promise."

I smile at him warmly. If he believes it's fun, I am determined to too.

"The Stiffs have to play too!" Will laughs.

"What?" Caleb narrows his eyes.

"Well, I refuse to participate in such a silly waste of time." Marcus strides out of the room like we're all beneath him. I smirk.

"Me neither," My father says, following him.

I fully expect my mother to go after them, but she hovers by the door. "I... Suppose it won't do any harm to let loose for once," she smiles, coming to sit back down. Caleb looks at her with an open mouth. He seems to be struggling internally, his face showing the battle. After a few seconds, he follows and sits next to our mother.

I'm honestly shocked that she would actually participate in a game - isn't that self indulgent? Especially drinking. Drinking is heavily frowned upon in Abnegation, seeing as it does nothing to help others and it is for your own enjoyment. You can't enjoy yourself and be selfless at the same time, it turns out.

No, that's unfair. I had fun sometimes, when I lived there. I remember convincing Caleb, Susan and Robert to play tig with me once, when I was very small. I remember running away from them, squealing when they tug me, then giggling and giving chase. I was always faster than them because I was so small and light. We played until dark, and I felt so carefree and happy, with the innocence and cheerfulness of any other five or six year old.

My calming thoughts were broken by a Dauntless cheer. "More stiffs!"

"Erudite," Caleb glares.

"Who cares," Christina laughs. "Let's play!"

I notice the bottles of alcohol on the table in front of me. When did they get there? Tobias drags me over to a seat, and I sit on his knee.

"Never have I ever eaten-" Lynn is cut off.

"Aren't there any rules?" Caleb interrupts, and Lynn sighs.

"Someone says 'never have I ever done something, and anyone who has, has to do a shot. Simple enough?"

Caleb scowls at her, but nods.

"Excellent! Now, never have I ever eaten sushi." Zeke, Uriah and Will all take a shot.

"It was disgusting," Uriah screws up his face.

"And slimy." Zeke adds.

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Will comments.

"Never have I ever..." Marlene stops to ponder the end of the sentence. A smirk slides onto her face and her gaze lands on Zeke. "Put chili peppers into my porridge."

When nobody drinks, Will gets ready to go. Although I notice Uriah's hand hovering uncertainly near his glass...

"Never-"

"Stop! _Zeke_!" Marlene shrieks.

"What?"

"Drink!"

"Ah, but Lynn! I didn't put it in into _my_ porridge, therefore I can _not_ drink!" He smiles sweetly, like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"That was _you?"_ Uriah yells with a poisonous glare. Zeke merely giggles. "I'll get you back for that," he promises.

"It was, like, three years ago!"

"Yet it is still fresh in my mind..." Uriah strikes a dramatic pose with his hand over his heart, and one arm flung across his forehead. We all laugh.

"Boy, do you hold a grudge!" Will smirks.

"Not as well as Lynn does," Uriah sniggers, gaze falling on Lynn's fake-looking confused face.

"When have I _ever_ held a grudge?" She says slowly with a sickly-sweet, all too innocent face.

All at once there was a cacophony of loud teenagers stating all the times Lynn had held grudges.

"That time I ate the creamy bit off of your cake because I thought you were done!"

"What about when I accidentally tripped you up before a fight and made you sprain your ankle? ...Shut up, Christina, it wasn't that bad!"

"When I took the last bit of dauntless cake!"

"When I told puns none stop for a day and you refused to speak to me for half a month!"

"Remember when you lost a dare and you had to wear a tutu and dance on the tables in the pit and Eric came in and made jokes about it during training for a week?"

"When I put your whites in with the colours and your knickers turned-"

This is when Lynn intervenes finally.

" _OKAY, ZEKE!_ I _get_ it! Jeez!" An awkward silence takes root.

"O-kay!" Will says loudly. "Let's continue! Never have I ever licked someones toes!"

I hadn't expected anyone to have done that, but surprisingly enough, Marlene and Peter take a drink.

"...It was a dare, okay?" Marlene says defensively, however Peter doesn't elaborate.

"Never have I ever been up higher than fifty feet," Christina states, and half the room drink - Peter, Zeke, Uriah, Eric, Lynn, Tobias, myself, and most surprisingly, my mother! I wonder what she could possibly have done... There's not many high up places in abnegation...

I look at the tiny shot glass full of liquid suspiciously. I haven't drunk it yet, just lifted it up to my face to sniff it. It smells... Well, alcoholic.

"It's not that bad, Tris," Tobias whispers in my ear. "Honestly."

I make a non-committal humming sort of noise, and with a last sniff, I down the thing. It burns that back of my throat, it leaves a warm sensation in my stomach.

"It's not... Unpleasant." I tell Tobias, who was looking at me curiously. He laughs lightly and kisses me on the cheek.

"Okay, how many of them were _not_ the zip wire?" Only Peter and Tobias are left now.

My mother went zip lining?! Sometimes its hard to remember she was a teenager too, and a dauntless one at that. But I find it hard to picture her flying through the air, wooping and calling out, being congratulated on the other side. Apparently the zip line is more of an initiation process now, formed by the kids, not so much just a day trip - or night trip - for your enjoyment, though it is still used throughout the year, according to Tobias.

"I went bungee jumping once," Peter says. "Bet none of you ever have! _three hundred_ feet!"

Everyone just ignores him.

"Four?"

"Feris wheel with Tris," Tobias states. "And, technically, my fear landscape."

"I still can't believe you're scared of heights!" Uriah shakes his head disbelievingly. "All the fears in the world..."

"Oh! Strange sense of deja-vu!" Christina holds her hands up. "...Oh yeah, it's because we had this conversation yesterday!"

"Never have I ever..." Peter cuts in, and I wince, waiting for a really rude one or something. I wasn't disappointed, though it could have been worse. "Had sex."

Christina and Will drink, and I'm surprised I hadn't heard all about it by now, so i count myself lucky. Eric also drinks, as does my mother (ick!).

"Never have I ever changed my name." Eric states looking at Tobias and I. We both shrug and drink.

It's Caleb's turn. He's the only one who's not drank anything yet. "Oh. Uh... Never have I ever..." He draws out the sentence, trying to think of something to say. "Um... Got a piercing..."

That was a good one. Eric, Lynn, Christina and Marlene drink this time.

Christina has her ears done, so does Lynn, and Eric has piercings everywhere.

"Where's yours, Mar?" Tobias asks.

"Belly button," she explains, lifting her top a little so we can see a silver ring shining. Caleb screws up his face in disgust, probably regretting his question. Or statement. Whatever it was.

"I don't understand why anyone would want to do that to their body's," he frowns.

"Cos they're cool?" Christina says.

"They're pretty," Marlene adds.

"Make you look menacing," Lynn adds with a grin. I put Eric into this category automatically, but he has other ideas.

"To fit in," he says, face unreadable.

That comment makes me feel almost sad. No one should have to mutilate their body to 'fit in', not even Eric. It makes me wonder just what his life was like before he became a Dauntless leader... Was he bullied? The thought of Eric being bullied almost makes me laugh... But maybe he wasn't always like this? Maybe he used to be happy. A carefree Eric playing games and reading books with his Erudite friends and family, sharing facts, wearing specs.

Or maybe he sat alone, trying to avoid the daily torture of his classmates and brothers and sisters, (assuming he has any). Maybe he hid from his parents like Tobias used to because he knew they'd beat him up if they found him. Maybe he left Erudite because he wanted to escape, like Tobias. Hell, maybe he even changed his name.

Thats the thing. We don't know. Nobody ever took the time to get to know him, because he hides. He hides behind a wall made of spite and anger and sarcasm. He scares any potential friends away with a glance. He's built up such a reputation that he has to spend his life trying to keep it.

I don't think I've ever actually seen him with any friends. I've seen him go out drinking - always alone. It must get so lonely!

What am I doing? Trying to make excuses for Eric's brutal personality? He's not a nice man. He's an awful, mean brute. But the'se past few days, there have been times that he's almost seemed like a human being... An awfully depressed, sad human being, despite his don't care-ish attitude. I find myself wanting to get to know him, but I don't know how...

I shake my head, turning my attention back to the game with a sigh.

 **A.N: Hi guys! I'm back!! Got a bit to say before you all go. Oh, and Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Birthday! Happy Day! :D**

 **First of all - I'm sad to say that my co-author -** _The Tribute Initiate_ **, has gone! They don't have the time to do this any more, which I understand completely. But I don't have to like it! :(** **I'm not going to do another competition right now, but sometime in the future, definitely.**

 **Now, this chapter of** Divergent Revealed **is not over. But I ran out of ideas. I cannot continue unless you give me some creative ideas for Never Have I Ever! Or anything else, actually. If you have a good idea you want to share concerning how to get Eric to make friends with Tris, it would be appreciated. (Don't worry - this will NOT be one an Eris fanfic. I strongly dislike that pairing.)**

 **Updates will not be as regular as normal - I am overrun with real life stuff! It's been so long since your last update because I've joined a stage school and I was frantically trying to learn lines for a Jack and the Beanstalk pantomime... In which I was Daisy the cow! XD** **But oddly enough, she had lots of lines. Most of which were cow puns, which was great! But anyway, it was not a one off, unfortunately for you, so I've got to go learn new lines for other things and audition and perform and practice and so things will be going slowly.**

 **Sorry for the long A.N! I'm going to let you get on with the review that you are inevitably going to leave! Containing lots of good ideas and constructive criticism!**

 **Bye!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A.N: Thank you all for the reviews! And a special thanks to**

Mikaza1498 **and** tlcoopi7 **for leaving some great suggestions that caused the second part of Never Have I Ever to be released so quickly!**

 **Also, I'm going to focus on this fic for a while, abandoning my other ones for a bit. So I'm going to TRY to update at least once a week. But I'm busy, you all know, so don't wait up on Sunday nights. Which is when I'll try to get a new chapter out by. But enough of my rambling, on with the story!**

"Never have I ever... sung in front of people," Will says. Me, Eric, Lynn, Peter and - finally - Caleb drinks! We'll, kind of. He sniffs it suspiciously, like I did at first.

Problem is, this time, someone notices.

"C'mon, Erudite! Drink up!" Lynn teases.

"It's not that bad," I tell him, in the words of my boyfriend. "Promise."

He frowns at it, looking as if he's trying to figure out what the heck is in the stuff.

"You alright, mate?" Peter butts in. I wait for the punchline... "Looking a little... Stiff!" There it is. He throws his head back in laughter, and although Eric snorts lightly in mild amusement, he seems to be the only one laughing. Caleb however, glares daggers at Peter, and looks him in the eye while downing his shot.

He hides his expression well, obviously trying to apear tough in front of all the Dauntless - _Peter_ \- but I see a slight grimace on his face when he puts the glass down. I also see the blush on his face and the taken-aback expression when everybody cheers for him.

"Never have I ever been arrested," My mother says. Peter does a shot.

"Something you lot are never gonna hear about," he explains, then he pauses, waiting for someone to ask him. When nobody does, he pouts. Honestly, _I'm_ curious, but I am _not_ going to be the one to quiz him.

"Okay," Lynn shrugs, as Peter scowls at her.

"Never have I ever owned a stuffed animal," Eric says. Pretty much everyone but me, Caleb, and Tobias drink.

"That's sad, man," Uriah tells Eric, who shrugs.

"Never have I ever had a loaded gun held to my head," Tobias smirks, looking at Peter. He puts a sneer onto his face while he drinks. Zeke also quietly does a shot.

When everyone looks at him, he hastily explains, "I had annoyed my mum for, like, hours, and she had already grounded me and everything, so she thought she'd scare me into behaving instead... Oh, shut up!" He adds when everyone bursts out laughing.

"I wondered what was wrong with you!" Uriah giggles. "You slunk off into your room, sniffing, with big wide eyes and a terrified look on your face! You didn't come out for hours!"

"Proboably the desired effect," Eric sniggers, a half amused smile-slash-smirk on his face.

"Lets keep playing, then," Zeke says hurriedly.

"No rush, little bro!" Uriah laughs.

Luckily for him, Caleb comes to the rescue. "Never have I ever... Uh... Not eaten breakfast." Everyone drank. _Everyone_. "Really?" Caleb asks, but then he shakes his head and gestures for everyone to keep playing.

"Dauntless. Living life on the edge, skipping breakfast!" Will grins as the room fills with laughter.

"Never have I ever changed factions," Marlene says. Myself, Eric, Tobias, Will, Christina, Caleb, Peter and my Mother all drink. Marlene stands up and goes around the room.

"Tris - Abnigation, Eric..."

"Erudite," he provides.

"Huh," Marlene says, surprised. "Okay. Four..."

"Not happening." He states.

"Didn't think so. Will - Erudite, Christina - Candor, Caleb... Erudite, Peter - Candor," He scowls at that. "And... Mrs prior?"

"Just Natalie, please," she says. "And I was Dauntless."

"Wow. Really?" Zeke gasps.

"Really!" she laughs.

"Why would you want to go to abnegation? If you dont mind me asking..." Will says.

"I guess... I liked how peaceful it was. I fell in love with an Erudite - Andrew-"

"Woah, he transferred too?" Will butts in. "Sorry," he adds.

"Its okay. Sometimes curiosity gets the better of us. Anyway - although I loved Dauntless, I wanted to be with Andrew more. I didn't like Erudite, so I wasn't going there. He didn't like Dauntless - still isn't fond. We both ruled out Candor, because... Well, it's Candor. Which left Amity and Abnegation. Andrew told me about how Amity drug the bread, and that made the decision for us! Abnegation it was. And it is so peaceful, people are helpful and kind, going out of their way to help others, even strangers. It's home now, though I'll always miss the Dauntless life."

There was a surprised silence while everyone processed what had been said...

Until Zeke spoke. "I'm sorry... Did you say they drug the bread...?"

"Zeke! Is that seriously what your hung up on?"

"Yes! Who _drugs bread?_ "

"Amity, apparently!" My mother laughs. "They put in stuff that's supposed to make you all happy and fluffy and incapable of anger or hatred. How do you think they get on so well?"

"Explains a lot... So... On an unrelated note, do any of you have a pass to go to Amity that I could borrow...?"

"In your dreams, Ezekiel!" Uriah snorts. "You are not getting high on bread!"

"Is there any bread in this place? And has anyone tried it?"

"NO!" Everyone choruses.

"Moving on... Never have I ever read a book more than 100 pages long." Christina says. "Not in school," she adds when everyone reaches for a glass.

"Are you serious?" Eric asks incredulously, as he, Will, Peter, me, Tobias, my mother and Uriah drink.

"Yes! I hate reading!" She replies

"Throughout your entente life...?"

"Wow," Will says, as Christina slaps him on the arm.

"Shut up!" She says.

"Never have I ever spent more than 500 credits in one shop at once," I say.

"Tris, I _need_ to take you shopping," Christina says while drinking. "I spent 600 credits on a pair of shoes alone!"

"Chris, I _need_ to get you away from shops," I laugh.

"Never have I ever peed in the pool before," Uriah says, as half the people in the room drink. "Eew, guys!"

"Well, what do you expect us to do?" Will asks.

"Um, _get out_?" Marlene exclaims.

"I've never actually been in a pool before..." I admit.

"Forget shopping! We're going swimming when we get out of this place!" Christina grins.

"Never have I ever cheated on a test," My mother says slyly, as the Petrad brothers and Will drink.

"Only from each other!" Zeke defends.

"I wrote the answers to the questions that I thought might be there on my arms..." Will says.

"Didnt someone see it?"

"... In invisible ink..." He adds while we laugh at him.

Suddenly, I notice Christina, Lynn, and Will all whispering together. I can't hear what they're saying, but they're glancing towards Tobias and me. I can't help but feel a bit self conscious...

"Never have I ever.. Been in a library," Lynn says. Will, Eric, Peter, Marlene and Tobias drink, and I remember the tiny room that is supposed to be a library in Abnegation. Six bookcases filled with rubbish. The Erudite one looks so much better.

Another whisper.

"Never have I ever worn red," Will says, watching Tobias. Nobody drinks. They whisper again, and I realise...

"I know what you're doing! You're trying to figure out where Four is from!"

"Whaaaat?" Will says.

"Would we do that...?" Lynn says innocently.

"Yes!" Me and Tobias exclaim in unison.

"Well, at _least_ tell us who here knows!" Christina begs.

"In this room...?" Tobias checks. If they mean 'in this house', he'll say no, because if all the Abnegation in the room suddenly know, but no one from anywhere else, it would be a complete giveaway.

"I suppose..." Lynn says.

Tobias considers it once more, biting his lip. "Fine," he decides.

A cheer goes up in the room.

"Tris, obviously, Natalie...?" My mother nods in conformation. "And Eric."

"Eric!?" The entire room exclaims.

Both Four and Eric shrug.

"I worked it out," Eric tells us. "Unlike the rest of you, apparently I have a brain."

"That's insulting!" Caleb announces in indignation.

"You're not the only ex-Erudite here!" Will frowns.

"... Or current Erudite!" Caleb adds.

"Well, apparently I'm the only one bright enough to figure out his faction! And name!"

"You know his _name_ too!?" Christina exclaims.

"Right here!" Tobias gestures to himself as people continue to talk about him like he's not there. "If you read the book, I'm sure you'll all find out soon!"

"Really?" Lynn says. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's read!!"

Her comment is backed up by half of the room's agreement.

"I'll go and get Andrew and Marcus back," my mother announces.


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N (UPDATE):** _Emi Nicole_ **Jackson12 pointed out a part near the end of the chapter where I have used a word wrong, and also referred to the wrong character, but it's all fixed now! Thanks! :)**

Caleb reads today.

 **Today is the** **day before Visiting Day. I think of Visiting Day like I think of the world ending: Nothing after it matters. Everything I do builds up to it. I might see my parents again. I might not. Which is worse? I don't know.**

My parents look at me sympathetically. I don't like sympathy. It makes me feel like everyone is looking down on me, seeing me as weaker than I am.

 **I try to pull a pant leg over my thigh and it sticks just above my knee. Frowning, I stare at my leg. A bulge of muscle is stopping the fabric. I let the pant leg fall and look over my shoulder at the back of my thigh. Another muscle stands out there.**

"Muscle? What muscle?" Peter cackles.

"Go to hell, Peter. Muscle or no muscle, Tris ranked first. You did not," Lynn says calmly. Peter scowls at her.

 **I step to the side so I stand in front of the mirror. I see muscles that I couldn't see before in my arms, legs, and stomach. I pinch my side, where a layer of fat used to hint at curves to come. Nothing. Dauntless initiation has stolen whatever softness my body had. Is that good, or bad?**

"Good!" Everyone tells me.

"It's muscle! It means your strong!" Marlene exclaims.

"I know!" I reply.

 **At least I am stronger than I was.**

"See?"

 **I wrap my towel around me again and leave the girls' bathroom. I hope no one is in the dormitory to see me walking in my towel, but I can't wear those pants.**

"Oh no," I groan, putting my head in my hands.

"What?" Tobias's asks, face a mask of concern. I shake my head, completely embarrassed.

"I hate this book," I mumble.

 **When I open the dormitory door, a weight drops into my stomach. Peter, Molly, Drew, and some of the other initiates stand in the back corner, laughing. They look up when I walk in and start snickering. Molly's snort-laugh is louder than everyone else's.**

"Oh." Tobias's says.

"It gets worse."

 **I walk to my bunk, trying to pretend like they aren't there, and fumble in the drawer under my bed for the dress Christina made me get. One hand clamped around the towel and one holding the dress, I stand up, and right behind me is Peter.**

 **I jump back, almost hitting my head on Christina's bunk. I try to slip past him, but he slams his hand against Christina's bed frame, blocking my path. I should have known he wouldn't let me get away that easily.**

 **"Didn't realize you were so skinny, Stiff."**

"What is it with you using 'stiff' as an insult?" Will asks. Peter doesn't answer. He's to busy being smug.

 **"Get away from me." My voice is somehow steady.**

 **"This isn't the Hub, you know. No one has to follow a Stiff's orders here." His eyes travel down my body, not in the greedy way that a man looks at a woman, but cruelly, scrutinizing every flaw. I hear my heartbeat in my ears as the others inch closer, forming a pack behind Peter.**

 **This will be bad.**

 **I have to get out of here.**

 **Out of the corner of my eye, I see a clear path to the door. If I can duck under Peter's arm and sprint toward it, I might be able to make it.**

"Let me guess," Lynn says. "You don't."

"Technically, no."

 **"Look at her," says Molly, crossing her arms. She smirks at me. "She's practically a child."**

"I'm glad she's factionless," Christina says darkly. It's a nasty comment, but nobody contradicts her.

"She was a bit brainless," Peter admits.

"Just like you, then!" Uriah tells him.

"Buuurn!" Zeke grins. The brothers high-five.

 **"Oh, I don't know," says Drew. "She could be hiding something under that towel. Why don't we look and see?"**

"You didn't..." Marlene says dangerously.

"I don't know! Let's find out!" Peter smirks.

 **Now. I duck under Peter's arm and dart toward the door. Something pinches and pulls at my towel as I walk away and then yanks sharply—Peter's hand, gathering the fabric into his fist. The towel slips from my hand and the air is cold on my naked body, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.**

Tobias is the first to leap out of his seat, charging over to Peter, fists outstretched. Christina is next, followed by Lynn.

But before they can even get to the sadistic teenager, Eric, sitting right next to him, lifts his muscled arm, curls his fingers into a fist, and punches him in the nose.

There is a sickening crack as flesh connects with flesh, and suddenly Peters nose is pouring with blood. Broken.

Everyone freezes, processing the violent act committed by everyone's second least-favorite person.

Then, after a second, it's like somebody presses play. Tobias strides over to Peter and whacks him in the stomach, winding him. The hands that previously were cradling his nose fly to his stomach as he groans.

Then, together, he and Eric haul him out of his seat, through the doorway, and into the hall, where they slam the door on him.

Eric and Tobias's nod to each other, not exactly a thanks, but an acknowledgement, of sorts. Certainly not friendship.

My father immediately stands up. "I'll get the first aid kit," he announces.

"You're kidding?" Marlene exclaims. "After what he did to her? Your _daughter?_ "

"He is a despicable human being," he says. "But a human being, nonetheless. He's obviously got a broken nose, and while I don't pity him, at all, he does need treating. Natalie, would you help me?"

"Yes, dear. Don't worry," she says to us. "I won't be gentle." She has a dark expression, and for once, I see the Dauntless in her.

"Tris-" Christina starts.

"I know - you're sorry, you wish you could have been there to help, you hate Peter. I know, it's okay. I just... Want this book to be over so I can go home... Please, Caleb, just read?"

"...Of course," He says, but his voice is dampened somewhat, more... sad.

 **Laughter erupts, and I run as fast as I can toward the door, holding the dress against my body to hide it. I sprint down the hallway and into the bathroom and lean against the door, breathing hard. I close my** **eyes.**

 **It doesn't matter. I don't care.**

Tobias hugs me close. I'm glad I have him, though I'm sure if he weren't here, I'd have half the room trapping me in a cuddle.

 **A sob bursts from my mouth, and I slap my hand over my lips to contain it. It doesn't matter what they saw. I shake my head like the motion is supposed to make it true.**

Tobias's hug is a little tighter.

 **With shaking hands, I get dressed. The dress is plain black, with a V-neck that shows the tattoos on my collarbone, and goes down to my knees.**

 **Once I'm dressed and the urge to cry is gone, I feel something hot and violent writhing in my stomach. I want to hurt them.**

"Good!" Everyone says.

"Me too!"

"Hit 'im, Tris!"

 **I stare at my eyes in the mirror. I want to, so I will.**

A cheer goes up.

 **I can't fight in a dress, so I get myself some new clothes from the Pit before I walk to the training room for my last fight. I hope it's with Peter.**

"Oh...!" Tobias says. "That explains..." He is referring to the next bit of the story.

"Is it Peter?" Caleb asks.

"No, Molly. That's _almost_ as good," I reply, surprised that Caleb was showing any interest in a fight. And having strong feelings about it!

 **"Hey, where were you this morning?" Christina asks when I walk in. I squint to see the blackboard across the room. The space next to my name is blank—I haven't gotten an opponent yet.**

 **"I got held up," I say.**

"Liar." Chris says.

"Not technically," I reply.

 **Four stands in front of the board and writes a name next to mine. Please let it be Peter, please, please….**

 **"You okay, Tris? You look a little…" says Al.**

 **"A little what?"**

 **Four moves away from the board. The name written next to mine is Molly. Not Peter, but good enough.**

 **"On edge," says Al.**

"You don't say!" Zeke says.

 **My fight is last on the list, which means I have to wait through three matches before I face her. Edward and Peter fight second to last—good. Edward is the only one who can beat Peter. Christina will fight Al, which means that Al will lose quickly, like he's been doing all week.**

 **"Go easy on me, okay?" Al asks Christina.**

"Asshole," Christina spits, and I agree.

"Why?" Marcus asks. Christina just shakes her head.

 **"I make no promises," she replies.**

 **The first pair—Will and Myra—stand across from each other in the arena. For a second they both shuffle back and forth, one jerking an arm forward and then retracting it, the other kicking and missing. Across the room, Four leans against the wall and yawns.**

"Hey!" Will exclaims.

"Sor-ree!" Four laughs. "Neither of you were getting any hits in! Missing all the time!"

 **I stare at the board and try to predict the outcome of each match. It doesn't take long. Then I bite my fingernails and think about Molly. Christina lost to her, which means she's good. She has a powerful punch, but she doesn't move her feet. If she can't hit me, she can't hurt me.**

"Logical thinking, not just blind rage, good idea," Caleb comments.

"Uh, thanks." I say.

 **As expected, the next fight between Christina and Al is quick and painless. Al falls after a few hard hits to the face and doesn't get back up, which makes Eric shake his head.**

 **Edward and Peter take longer. Though they are the two best fighters, the disparity between them is noticeable. Edward's fist slams into Peter's jaw, and I remember what Will said about him—that he has been studying combat since he was ten. It's obvious. He is faster and smarter than even Peter.**

A cacophony of insults comes from everywhere, some words that I hope never to repeat.

 **By the time the three matches are done, my nails are bitten to the beds and I'm hungry for lunch. I walk to the arena without looking at anyone or anything but the center of the room. Some of my anger has faded, but it isn't hard to call back. All I have to do is think about how cold the air was and how loud the laughter was. Look at her. She's a child.**

 **Molly stands across from me.**

 **"Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek?" she says, smirking. "God, you're pale, Stiff."**

"Kill 'er, Tris!" Lynn exclaims

 **She'll make the first move. She always does.**

 **Molly starts toward me and throws her weight into a punch. As her body shifts forward, I duck and drive my fist into her stomach, right over her belly button. Before she can get her hands on me, I slip past her, my hands up, ready for her next attempt.**

"Go Tris!"

 **She's not smirking anymore. She runs at me like she's about to tackle me, and I dart out of the way. I hear Four's voice in my head, telling me that the most powerful weapon at my disposal is my elbow. I just have to find a way to use it.**

 **I block her next punch with my forearm. The blow stings, but I barely notice it. She grits her teeth and lets out a frustrated groan, more animal-sounding than human. She tries a sloppy kick at my side, which I dodge, and while her balance is off, I rush forward and force my elbow up at her face. She pulls her head back just in time, and my elbow grazes her chin.**

Another cheer.

 **She punches me in the ribs and I stumble to the side, recovering my breath. There's something she's not protecting, I know it. I want to hit her face, but maybe that's not a smart move. I watch her for a few seconds. Her hands are too high; they guard her nose and cheeks, leaving her stomach and ribs exposed. Molly and I have the same flaw in combat.**

 **Our eyes meet for just a second.**

 **I aim an uppercut low, below her belly button. My fist sinks into her flesh, forcing a heavy breath from her mouth that I feel against my ear. As she gasps, I sweep-kick her legs out from under her, and she falls hard on the ground, sending dust into the air. I pull my foot back and kick as hard as I can at her ribs.**

 **My mother and father would not approve of my kicking someone when she's down.**

"Who cares!?"

 **I don't care.**

"Woo!"

 **She curls into a ball to protect her side, and I kick again, this time hitting her in the stomach. Like a child. I kick again, this time hitting her in the face. Blood springs from her nose and spreads over her face. Look at her. Another kick hits her in the chest.**

 **I pull my foot back again, but Four's hands clamp around my arms, and he pulls me away from her with irresistible force.**

"Booo!" Zeke says.

"This isn't a pantomime!" Tobias rolls his eyes. "And she was going to kill her!"

"Is that a bad thing?" Christina asks.

"Would Tris be able to live with herself knowing she had killed a girl?" He shot back.

No. The answer would be no. I'd lie awake at night thinking about it. I couldn't take a person's life, no matter who it was. I smile at Tobias in silent thanks.

 **I breathe through gritted teeth, staring at Molly's blood-covered face, the color deep and rich and beautiful, in a way.**

I get a few odd looks at that, and I don't blame them. Beautiful blood? Ick!

 **She groans, and I hear a gurgling in her throat, watch blood trickle from her lips.**

 **"You won," Four mutters. "Stop."**

 **I wipe the sweat from my forehead. He stares at me. His eyes are too wide; they look alarmed.**

"I understand, now," He says. I nod back.

 **"I think you should leave," he says. "Take a walk."**

 **"I'm fine," I say. "I'm fine now," I say again, this time for myself.**

 **I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did.**

 **I don't.**

"You shouldn't!" Eric says.

"She's a bully with crappy, pervy friends!" Christina cries.

"I know! I said I _didn't_ care!"

"Alright! Next chapter!"

"I'll read," Will says.

My mother and father come back in, just in time. They didn't bring Peter, probably for the best. I don't think there would be a bone in his body left unbroken once Four, Eric, Lynn _and_ Christina had been at him.


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N: Sorry it's a little late, guys, any I'm going to change the schedule to every two weeks, because I have less time to write. Sorry!**

I take the book to read, this time. It is no less weird reading about myself - my most intimate thoughts and feelings - out loud.

 **Visiting day. The second I open my eyes, I remember. My heart leaps and then plummets when I see Molly hobble across the dormitory, her nose purple between strips of medical tape.**

"HAH!" Uriah barks

 **Once I see her leave, I check for Peter and Drew. Neither of them is in the dormitory, so I change quickly. As long as they aren't here, I don't care who sees me in my underwear, not anymore.**

I get sad, sympathetic looks, so I stare at my shoes instead of into their pitying eyes.

 **Everyone else dresses in silence. Not even Christina smiles. We all know that we might go to the Pit floor and search every face and never find one that belongs to us.**

"We'd never not visit, Tris," my mother says.

 **I make my bed with the tight corners like my father taught me.**

I get a smile at that.

"Glad you remember everything we taught you, Tris," he says.

 **As I pinch a stray hair from my pillow, Eric walks in.**

 **"Attention!" he announces, flicking a lock of dark hair from his eyes. "I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…" He scans our faces and smirks. "…which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?"**

"What?" Caleb says. "They're not allowed to share a loving hug or shed a tear or anything? That's an awful rule!"

"Poetic," Eric raises an eyebrow. And it's not a rule, as such. Just...a guideline."

Caleb scoffs. "Yeah right," he says.

 **I understand. I hear the threat in Eric's sharp voice. The only part of that speech that Eric meant was the last part: We are Dauntless, and we need to act accordingly.**

 **On my way out of the dormitory, Eric stops me.**

"Uh-oh," Will says.

 **"I may have underestimated you, Stiff," he says. "You did well yesterday."**

"Was that... A compliment, Eric?" Christina gasps falsely.

"Shut it, Candor," He snaps back.

 **I stare up at him. For the first time since I beat Molly, guilt pinches my gut.**

 **If Eric thinks I did something right, I must have done it wrong.**

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me. "You did well in a fight. You won! How is that bad in any way?"

"Well, coming from you..." I trail off as he sighs. With a touch of emotion that I identify as... Sadness. A very, very slight bit of human emotion. Again. It's starting to become a regular occurrence.

Maybe it was just... Eric. I never stayed in his company long enough to give him a chance to be human. I had just seen the snarky, sarcastic, snide leader who bullied everyone.

 **"Thank you," I say. I slip out of the dormitory.**

"Didn't sound fake at all!" Uriah laughs.

 **Once my eyes adjust to the dim hallway light, I see Christina and Will ahead of me, Will laughing, probably at a joke Christina made. I don't try to catch up. For some reason, I feel like it would be a mistake to interrupt them.**

Cue the aforementioned couple's kissing. I look away. Although I may less 'Stiff' than I was, I can't just drop sixteen years of rules and habits just like that.

 **Al is missing. I didn't see him in the dormitory, and he's not walking toward the Pit now. Maybe he's already there.**

 **I run my fingers through my hair and smooth it into a bun. I check my clothes—am I covered up? My pants are tight and my collarbone is showing. They won't approve.**

"Who cares!?" Lynn exclaims. "... Sorry," she adds, for my parent's benefit. They wave her off.

 **Who cares if they approve?**

A small cheer fills the room as I blush.

 **I set my jaw. This is my faction now. These are the clothes my faction wears. I stop just before the hallway ends.**

 **Clusters of families stand on the Pit floor, most of them Dauntless families with Dauntless initiates. They still look strange to me—a mother with a pierced eyebrow, a father with a tattooed arm, an initiate with purple hair, a wholesome family unit. I spot Drew and Molly standing alone at one end of the room and suppress a smile. At least their families didn't come.**

My father glances at me, face a mask of disapproval. "They're human beings, Tris. Just because they're not nice, doesn't mean you shouldn't be either."

I grit my teeth in anger. Had he heard anything from this book? God!

"Well, I support her," Tobias says firmly.

"Me too!" Zeke and Uriah chorus.

"Sadistic assholes," Lynn adds.

Everyone else chimes in with their approval of my decisions and thoughts, and the blush forming on my face is one of happiness. No matter what my father thinks, I always have my friends here to support me.

"And I think you should support her, too," Christina folds her arms.

"I do!" My father holds his arms up in surrender. "I just believe that people should forgive and forget!"

"Spoken like a true stiff," Eric spits, as Lynn spouts weird and wonderful curses.

"I am not ashamed of my faction," is the comeback.

"Yeah? I think you should be. With opinions like that, judging your own daughter for the choices she makes, I'd be more ashamed than is humanly possible," Marlene glares.

My father stands up, and my mother puts a. Gentle hand on his leg to calm him. Down. He brushes it off. If they're not careful, it would become a full blown fight. Or at least somebody would get punched.

"Guys!" I intervene. "Please stop fighting! I hate this! My best friends and my only family! Can't you at least pretend to get along, for me? Do you think this is easy? Listening to my deepest thoughts being read out for everyone to hear? My most intimate memories exploited? Even the real world is all messed up by you all picking fights! I think it's lovely that you all care so much, but please!"

There is a silence as everyone states at me. I glance around, uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Tris..." Marlene mutters.

"Yeah, me too," Lynn adds. Eric just folds his arms and raises an eyebrow at me. I don't have the energy to tell him off.

I sigh, nod, and carry on reading.

 **But Peter's did. He stands next to a tall man with bushy eyebrows and a short, meek-looking woman with red hair. Neither of his parents looks like him. They both wear black pants and white shirts, typical Candor outfits, and his father speaks so loudly I can almost hear him from where I stand. Do they know what kind of person their son is?**

"The answer is probably 'no'". Zeke frowns.

 **Then again…what kind of person am I?**

"A strong one!"

"A beautiful one!"

"A caring one!"

"A Dauntless one!"

"A selfless one!"

"A smart one!"

"A Divergent one," Tobias's states, looking at me, as everyone cheers. It's amazing how accepting everyone is now. Excluding Peter, and most likely Eric, despite his civil nature the past few days.

But despite the two of them - Eric with his complicated nature, and Peter; the bully, the liar, the man who was willing to throw me into the chasm because I was better than him - despite the two of them, I'm happy. Plain and simple. I am happier than I ever was before, left in the presence of my closest friends and my only known family. We'll fight, we'll argue, sure. But we'll get over it, fix it, and go back to the way it was before. And we'll all be happy again.

I never thought I could be at ease in a locked house with no windows and no doors. But laughing with my friends, sharing moments like these, it's amazing. It's a privilege to have befriended these people here.

 **Across the room, Will stands with a woman in a blue dress. She doesn't look old enough to be his mother, but she has the same crease between her eyebrows as he does, and the same golden hair. He talked about having a sister once; maybe that's her.**

Will smiles softly. "Cara," he says.

 **Next to him, Christina hugs a dark-skinned woman in Candor black and white. Standing behind Christina is a young girl, also a Candor. Her younger sister.**

Christina smiles too.

 **Should I even bother scanning the crowd for my parents? I could turn around and go back to the dormitory.**

"No!" Everyone choruses.

 **Then I see her. My mother stands alone near the railing with her hands clasped in front of her. She has never looked more out of place, with her gray slacks and gray jacket buttoned at the throat, her hair in its simple twist and her face placid. I start toward her, tears jumping into my eyes. She came. She came for me.**

"Of course I did!"

 **I walk faster. She sees me, and for a second her expression is blank, like she doesn't know who I am. Then her eyes light up, and she opens her arms. She smells like soap and laundry detergent.**

Everyone laughs lightly at that.

 **"Beatrice," she whispers. She runs her hand over my hair.**

"So you go to see her, but when it's Erudite, you don't even bother?" Caleb yells.

"Caleb," I say. I want to explain on behalf of my mother, but he gives me no chance.

"I always knew you had a favourite. You don't care how I feel, do you? It's all 'Tris, Tris, Tris'!" That stung. "Well guess what? I have feelings too! I was left watching everybody else hugging and talking and being friendly, parents showing their affections with kisses and little keepsake gifts! I would've been happy with just a smile! But you didn't even come! I-"

"Caleb!" My mother exclaims. My brother falls silent at the outburst, unused to our mother's 'outdoor voice'. "We wanted to! Of course we did, but Erudite banned all contact from Abnegation! We would have been physically removed, maybe even arrested! If I was able to, I would have, I swear. I love you no matter what faction you stay in."

Caleb nods stiffly, like he's trying not to cry. His lips are pursed and he seems to be biting his cheek. Hard." I just... Need some time to calm down." He leaves the room. Nobody follows him. He needs the space.

I read some more.

 **Don't cry, I tell myself. I hold her until I can blink the moisture from my eyes, and then pull back to look at her again. I smile with closed lips, just like she does. She touches my cheek.**

 **"Well, look at you," she says. "You've filled out." She puts her arm across my shoulders. "Tell me how you are."**

 **"You first." The old habits are back. I should let her speak first. I shouldn't let the conversation stay focused on me for too long. I should make sure she doesn't need anything.**

"So selfless," Tobias smiles.

 **"Today is a special occasion," she says. "I came to see you, so let's talk mostly about you. It is my gift to you."**

 **My selfless mother. She should not be giving me gifts, not after I left her and my father. I walk with her toward the railing that overlooks the chasm, glad to be close to her. The last week and a half has been more affectionless than I realized. At home we did not touch each other often, and the most I ever saw my parents do was hold hands at the dinner table, but it was more than this, more than here.**

 **"Just one question." I feel my pulse in my throat. "Where's Dad? Is he visiting Caleb?"**

"Oh no..." Christina says.

 **"Ah." She shakes her head. "Your father had to be at work."**

"Your kidding me?" Lynn says. "Don't all family members get a day off on visiting day, anyway?"

 **I look down. "You can tell me if he didn't want to come."**

 **Her eyes travel over my face. "Your father has been selfish lately. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, I promise."**

"Uh, yeah! It kinda does!" Christina stresses.

"No-" my father starts.

"No! Not again! No fighting!" I shout.

 **I stare at her, stunned. My father—selfish? More startling than the label is the fact that she assigned it to him. I can't tell by looking at her if she's angry. I don't expect to be able to. But she must be; if she calls him selfish, she must be angry.**

"Of course I was angry," she shakes her head. "You abandoned your daughter in a time of need. She needed us there to tell her that everything was okay, that we didn't blame her for leaving, and that we still cared! Obviously you didn't." my mother never shouts, but her voice is raised. I've never heard her express any kind of emotion other than joy and regret, really. I didn't know she was even capable of holding a grudge.

"I'm sorry," he replies." I wasn't thinking. I was just... Mad, I guess. I was selfish, I wanted you to know that I didn't approve of your choice, and I showed it in a poor, uncaring way that hurt both you and your mother. I'm for not coming with you, B- Tris."

I don't forgive him. Not really. But I nod stiffly anyway. I hate fighting with anyone - and it's ten times worse when it is with my own family.

 **"What about Caleb?" I say. "Will you visit him later?"**

 **"I wish I could," she says, "but the Erudite have prohibited Abnegation visitors from entering their compound. If I tried, I would be removed from the premises."**

"What!?"

"Shh," I hush them. If they'd wait a second, the book would say!

" **What?" I demand. "That's terrible. Why would they do that?"**

"Yeah!" Zeke exclaims. I shush him again.

 **"Tensions between our factions are higher than ever," she says. "I wish it wasn't that way, but there is little I can do about it."**

"You're kidding me?" Will says. "They are so selfish - letting everyone else visit and leaving out the few that came from Abnegation! Imagine how upset the Stiff's would have been! And they don't even know why!"

 **I think of Caleb standing among the Erudite initiates, scanning the crowd for our mother, and feel a pang in my stomach. Part of me is still angry with him for keeping so many secrets from me, but I don't want him to hurt.**

"Secerets like his hidden thirst for knowledge and books? His love of all things Erudite?" Christina asks.

I nod.

"The same secrets you kept?" Chris continues. "You had a passion for everything Dauntless related. You weren't happy in Abnegation, and did you tell him? You can't be angry at him for something you did too. That's very hypocritical, Tris."

"I know," I say, looking at my feet.

 **"That's terrible," I repeat. I look toward the chasm.**

 **Standing alone at the railing is Four. Though he's not an initiate anymore, most of the Dauntless use this day to come together with their families. Either his family doesn't like to come together, or he wasn't originally Dauntless. Which faction could he have come from?**

"Yeah!" Zeke and Uriah say in unison.

"Not today," Tobias's shakes his head.

 **"There's one of my instructors." I lean closer to her and say, "He's kind of intimidating."**

He shoots me a half smile which I return with a full one.

 **"He's handsome," she says.**

Everyone laughs as Four goes deep pink.

 **I find myself nodding without thinking. She laughs and lifts her arm from my shoulders. I want to steer her away from him, but just as I'm about to suggest that we go somewhere else, he looks over his shoulder.**

 **His eyes widen at the sight of my mother. She offers him her hand.**

"Your eyes widen?" Will questions.

"Yes." Tobias's states.

"Uh, why?"

"I knew that her husband is one of the leaders in Abnegation, and didn't realise Tris was born of a man with such a high rank," he lies smoothly. Technically he did recognise her. Just not quite in the way he said...

 **"Hello. My name is Natalie," she says. "I'm Beatrice's mother."**

 **I have never seen my mother shake hands with someone. Four eases his hand into hers, looking stiff, and shakes it twice.**

The word 'Stiff' has me tense, but then I realise it was not used in the way I had thought. I relax again.

 **The gesture looks unnatural for both of them. No, Four was not originally Dauntless if he doesn't shake hands easily.**

"I'm ruling Amity out," Lynn says. "You'd be comfortable with hand shakes and hugs. Also, you're a badass!"

He chuckles. "Thanks," he says.

" **Four," he says. "It's nice to meet you."**

 **"Four," my mother repeats, smiling. "Is that a nickname?"**

 **"Yes." He doesn't elaborate. What is his real name? "Your daughter is doing well here. I've been overseeing her training."**

 **Since when does "overseeing" include throwing knives at me and scolding me at every opportunity?**

"Tris," he says with exasperation. I just keep reading. I've heard his explanation before.

 **"That's good to hear," she says. "I know a few things about Dauntless initiation, and I was worried about her."**

"I was going to ask how," Uriah says, "but then I remember where you were born."

 **He looks at me, and his eyes move down my face, from nose to mouth to chin. Then he says, "You shouldn't worry."**

"Aww!" Christina sighs, and cuddles into Will. I lob a pillow at her, which will deflects easily. "My hero!" She tells him dramatically.

"Anytime," Will replies. "And my reward?" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Christina laughs lightly and leans in to kiss him. This time, Lynn throws the pillow, and it hits them smack in the heads. They jerk apart.

"Get a room," Eric rolls his eyes.

 **I can't keep the heat from rushing into my cheeks. I hope it isn't noticeable.**

Tobias's winks at me, and I peck him on the lips.

 **Is he just reassuring her because she's my mother, or does he really believe that I am capable? And what did that look mean?**

"Both, and that look meant 'I have a massive crush on you,'" Four smiles.

 **She tilts her head. "You look familiar for some reason, Four."**

"Really? Why?" Lynn asks my mother.

"I was wrong," she replies. "He had the same style of hair as my neighbour did."

Its a weak argument, but it is accepted, luckily. I spare her a grateful smile.

 **"I can't imagine why," he replies, his voice suddenly cold. "I don't make a habit of associating with the Abnegation."**

"Rude," Marlene comments. My mother laughs.

 **My mother laughs. She has a light laugh, half air and half sound. "Few people do, these days. I don't take it personally."**

 **He seems to relax a little. "Well, I'll leave you to your reunion."**

"Abnegation!" Uriah yells. "You were from Abnegation!"

He tenses, like me, but recovers quickly. "Come on," He laughs. "Can you imagine me clearing up plates and handing out soup wearing silly, boring grey robes? No offence," He adds quickly to my mother and father. He ignores Marcus. To be honest, I had forgotten on he was even there. He hasn't spoken in a while...

"None taken," My father says, and my mother smiles kindly, knowingly.

"Yeah, fair enough." Zeke sighs. "can't picture you wearing anything but black, to be honest. And I imagine that if anyone told you to wash up random people's plates, you'd hit them," he adds.

Tobias's laughs, but it sounds forced, to me.

 **My mother and I watch him leave. The roar of the river fills my ears. Maybe Four was one of the Erudite, which explains why he hates Abnegation. Or maybe he believes the articles the Erudite release about us—them, I remind myself. But it was kind of him to tell her that I'm doing well when I know he doesn't believe it.**

Were you Erudite?" Lynn asks.

"No."

"Would you tell me even you were?"

No."

 **"Is he always like that?" she says.**

"Like what?" he exclaims.

"I don't know... Charming, yet changeable?" My mother replies with a smile.

 **"Worse."**

"Gee, thanks!" He laughs. "Love you too!" he adds sarcastically. But not really - he does love me, and I him.

 **"Have you made friends?" she asks.**

"Yes!" Many people chorus.

 **"A few," I say. I look over my shoulder at Will and Christina and their families. When Christina catches my eye, she beckons to me, smiling, so my mother and I cross the Pit floor.**

Christina grins at me brightly.

 **Before we can get to Will and Christina, though, a short, round woman with a black-and-white-striped shirt touches my arm. I twitch, resisting the urge to smack her hand away.**

My father wears a disapproving expression, like Marcus. I don't care. Neither are making a fuss.

 **"Excuse me," she says. "Do you know my son? Albert?"**

"Who?"

"Al."

"Oh."

 **"Albert?" I repeat. "Oh—you mean Al? Yes, I know him."**

 **"Do you know where we can find him?" she says, gesturing to a man behind her. He is tall and as thick as a boulder.**

Phisically, or mentally?" Peter asks. I sigh. I thought he had given up on nasty remarks for a while, there.

"That is nasty," Marlene glares.

"That was the point," Peter smirks.

 **Al's father, obviously.**

 **"I'm sorry, I didn't see him this morning. Maybe you should look for him up there?" I point at the glass ceiling above us.**

 **"Oh my," Al's mother says, fanning her face with her hand.**

Everyone laughs at that. I'd want to avoid that, too," Marcus says.

"Likewise," My father agrees. The two are friends. I hope that when everyone learns the truth, they won't be quite so chummy.

 **"I would rather not attempt that climb again. I almost had a panic attack on the way down here. Why aren't there any railings along those paths? Are you all insane?"**

"Yep!" Will grins.

"Completely crazy," Lynn adds.

 **I smile a little. A few weeks ago I might have found that question offensive, but now I spend too much time with Candor transfers to be surprised by tactlessness.**

 **"Insane, no," I say. "Dauntless, yes. If I see him, I'll tell him you're looking for him."**

 **My mother, I see, wears the same smile I do. She isn't reacting the way some of the other transfers' parents are—her neck bent, looking around at the Pit walls, at the Pit ceiling, at the chasm. Of course she isn't curious—she's Abnegation. Curiosity is foreign to her.**

" _So_ not the reason, Tris," Christina says.

 **I introduce my mother to Will and Christina, and Christina introduces me to her mother and her sister. But when Will introduces me to Cara, his older sister, she gives me the kind of look that would wither a plant and does not extend her hand for me to shake. She glares at my mother.**

"Stupid Erudite," Marlene sighs. "Well, bright Erudite... But you know what I mean."

 **"I can't believe that you associate with one of them, Will," she says.**

"Bitch!" Christina exclaims. "Sorry, Will, but she is."

"Oh yeah," Will agrees. "But she is my sister, and I love her. Just slightly less when she's nasty to my friends parents."

 **My mother purses her lips, but of course, doesn't say anything.**

 **"Cara," says Will, frowning, "there's no need to be rude."**

 **"Oh, certainly not. Do you know what she is?" She points at my mother. "She's a council member's wife is what she is."**

"Ooh," Everyone laughs.

"Criminal of the year," Lynn chortles.

 **"She runs the 'volunteer agency' that supposedly helps the factionless. You think I don't know that you're just hoarding goods to distribute to your own faction while we don't get fresh food for a month, huh? Food for the factionless, my eye."**

"Why don't they just ask the factionless?" Lynn points out.

"Good point," I reply, but I don't have the answer.

 **"I'm sorry," my mother says gently. "I believe you are mistaken."**

 **"Mistaken. Ha," Cara snaps. "I'm sure you're exactly what you seem. A faction of happy-go-lucky do-gooders without a selfish bone in their bodies. Right."**

"Yeah, okay... Bit of a bitch," Will agrees.

"Bit!?" Lynn says.

 **"Don't speak to my mother that way," I say, my face hot. I clench my hands into fists. "Don't say another word to her or I swear I will break your nose."**

A cheer rises.

 **"Back off, Tris," Will says. "You're not going to punch my sister."**

"Don't bet on it," Four says.

 **"Oh?" I say, raising both eyebrows. "You think so?"**

 **"No, you're not." My mother touches my shoulder. "Come on, Beatrice. We wouldn't want to bother your friend's sister."**

" _Bother_ her? She just insulted not only your faction, but your values _and_ your family!" Eric exclaims.

"I was being polite," she replies. "If you don't give her a rise, she'll run out of things to argue with."

"Not the Dauntless way to look at it," Lynn says.

"And what would you all do?" Marcus asks.

"Punch them in the face." Eric states.

 **She sounds gentle, but her hand squeezes my arm so hard I almost cry out from the pain as she drags me away.**

"There's the badass Dauntless woman we all know is there!" Zeke grins.

 **She walks with me, fast, toward the dining hall. Just before she reaches it, though, she takes a sharp left turn and walks down one of the dark hallways I haven't explored yet.**

 **"Mom," I say. "Mom, how do you know where you're going?"**

"Cos she's _Dauntless_!" Will says.

"Abnegation!" She corrects.

"Nope. Definitely Dauntless!" Christina smirks.

 **She stops next to a locked door and stands on her tiptoes, peering at the base of the blue lamp hanging from the ceiling. A few seconds later she nods and turns to me again.**

 **"I said no questions about me. And I meant it. How are you really doing, Beatrice? How have the fights been? How are you ranked?"**

 **"Ranked?" I say. "You know that I've been fighting? You know that I'm ranked?"**

 **"It isn't top-secret information, how the Dauntless initiation process works."**

"It is a liiiiitle bit top secret," Eric says.

"Why didn't you just tell her?"

"I had my reasons," she replies ominously.

 **I don't know how easy it is to find out what another faction does during initiation, but I suspect it's not that easy. Slowly, I say, "I'm close to the bottom, Mom."**

"Not for long!" Christina says joyfully.

 **"Good." She nods. "No one looks too closely at the bottom. Now, this is very important, Beatrice: What were your aptitude test results?"**

"How did you know?" I ask.

"I didn't," she replied. "But I had a suspicion, after the Tests. You really aren't the best liar."

 **Tori's warning pulses in my head. Don't tell anyone. I should tell her that my result was Abnegation, because that's what Tori recorded in the system.**

 **I look into my mother's eyes, which are pale green and framed by a dark smudge of eyelashes. She has lines around her mouth, but other than that, she doesn't look her age. Those lines get deeper when she hums. She used to hum as she washed the dishes.**

"You're mind does tend to wander, doesn't it?" Eric raises an eyebrow.

"Shut up," I tell him half-heartedly.

 **This is my mother.**

 **I can trust her.**

She smiles gently at me.

 **"They were inconclusive," I say softly.**

I glance around the room automatically. I feel slightly uncomfortable, reacts to the admittance.

 **"I thought as much." She sighs. "Many children who are raised Abnegation receive that kind of result. We don't know why. But you have to be very careful during the next stage of initiation, Beatrice. Stay in the middle of the pack, no matter what you do. Don't draw attention to yourself. Do you understand?"**

 **"Mom, what's going on?"**

"Yeah!" Zeke says.

"They hunt and kill the Divergents." I state, voice low.

"Who's they?"

"Faction leaders. Dauntless leaders."

Everyone turns to face Eric, but to avoid yet another confrontation, I read.

 **"I don't care what faction you chose," she says, touching her hands to my cheeks. "I am your mother and I want to keep you safe."**

 **"Is this because I'm a—" I start to say, but she presses her hand to my mouth.**

 **"Don't say that word," she hisses. "Ever."**

"Or Eric'll kill you," Lynn says with a scowl. "You backstabbing, pompous-"

 **So Tori was right. Divergent is a dangerous thing to be. I just don't know why, or even what it really means, still.**

 **"Why?"**

 **She shakes her head. "I can't say."**

"Or Eric-"

"We get it!" Marlene exclaims.

 **She looks over her shoulder, where the light from the Pit floor is barely visible. I hear shouts and conversations, laughter and shuffling footsteps. The smell from the dining hall floats over my nose, sweet and yeasty: baking bread.**

"Is yeasty a smell?" Will asks.

"I dunno." I reply.

 **When she turns toward me, her jaw is set.**

 **"There's something I want you to do," she says. "I can't go visit your brother, but you can, when initiation is over. So I want you to go find him and tell him to research the simulation serum. Okay? Can you do that for me?"**

"Why?" Several people ask.

"I... Can't say," my mother replies.

"Not yet, it's too dangerous." My father adds.

"What?! But-"

"Beatrice?" Marcus gestures for me to keep reading, and i almost don't. Not because I want an argument to start, but because it's Marcus - the abusive twat, who also got my name wrong. But I do - to avoid any kind of confrontation. I read on with a scowl.

 **"Not unless you explain some of this to me, Mum!" I cross my arms. "You want me to go hang out at the Erudite compound for the day, you had better give me a reason!"**

I give her a pointed look, which she ignores.

 **"I can't. I'm sorry." She kisses my cheek and brushes a lock of hair that fell from my bun behind my ear. "I should leave. It will make you look better if you and I don't seem attached to each other."**

"Or Eric will-"

" _Lynn_!" everyone yells.

"Fine!" Lynn exclaims.

 **"I don't care how I look to them," I say.**

"Good for you, Trissy!" Zeke grins.

 **"You should," she says. "I suspect they are already monitoring you."**

"Not really," Eric admits. "Not at that stage, anyway."

 **She walks away, and I am too stunned to follow her. At the end of the hallway she turns and says, "Have a piece of cake for me, all right? The chocolate. It's delicious."**

"Yes!" Uriah laughs. "Someone gets it!"

 **She smiles a strange, twisted smile, and adds, "I love you, you know."**

"Awwww!" Marlene sighs.

 **And then she's gone.**

 **I stand alone in the blue light coming from the lamp above me, and I understand:**

 **She has been to the compound before. She remembered this hallway. She knows about the initiation process.**

 **My mother was Dauntless.**

"No shit, Sherlock," Peter says cruelly.

"Go to hell," I reply in the same time, as I pass the book to Tobias.


End file.
